For Better or Hearse
by MonstersAreReal
Summary: With arguments and fights the only thing that is keeping Kurt and Blaine even speaking to one another lately, they need to start fighting for their relationship. But when tragedy strikes the Anderson's at the heart, Cooper and Rachel join forces to get Kurt and Blaine back in the right direction with their relationship.
1. New York

**Anddddd I'm back.** **Well it didn't take me long!**

**Okay so this fic, I have to warn, is very heartbreaking & does (in this first chapter) contain a character death. But it's not major, so everyone breathe! I would, never _ever _kill my babies. I love them too much.**

**So basically, I know I said my last fic was my baby, well this one is like my first born, the child I will love unconditionally no matter what. (I'd love all my kids unconditionally, but for all intents and purposes just go with it!) I absolutely adored writing this and even though I cried a few times I hope y'all love it too.**

**Thank you to my amazing beta, Abbey, who is still in the process of beta'ing this - the lazy girl ;) - she's the best though!**

**Anyway, onwards...**

* * *

**Kurt and Blaine's apartment, New York, May 2020**

Blaine slams the door of their apartment, the bang echoing around the room and making some of the pictures on the walls shake. Kurt's standing in the hallway, trying to hold back the tears that are springing to his eyes.

This happens every time.

They argue. Blaine storms out. Kurt waits, worried, for at least an hour. Blaine returns, still as angry as ever. And they think by having 'make up' sex everything goes away. All their problems are solved because well, sex is supposed to mean that they love each other and want to be together physically and emotionally.

Kurt's scared that it doesn't actually mean anything any more.

This is the third time this week that Blaine has stormed out after an argument, and it's only Tuesday afternoon. Kurt took the day off work today, to try and spend some time with his husband of almost three years; apparently Blaine didn't want to spend time with Kurt anymore.

The more hours Kurt works, the angrier Blaine gets when he comes home at ridiculous o'clock in the morning. But Kurt can't help it. He _has_ to work. He's an up and coming designer; he needs to put in all the hours he can get to get noticed by designers and sponsors. New York is a big place and for a small town guy like him it's hard to get noticed by bigger and better people.

They first moved into their apartment almost seven months ago, and since then Kurt's work load has doubled and he's needed at the office and in the studio much more than he ever has been. Blaine, being a teacher, gets more time off than Kurt and so expects Kurt to be home when he is.

It doesn't work like that.

Blaine has never brought up the issue of work before, _until now_, but Kurt's always known. He's known when Blaine has stayed behind doing detention; he knew when Blaine asked to do Summer school this year but got rejected because he's not needed and he deserves a break.

The last thing Blaine wants though; is a break.

Kurt knows he doesn't want to be at home with him anymore. Blaine's an open book, he's almost too easy to read, and most of the time that's a good thing for Kurt. He used to always know what's wrong. Now there's so much more to him and Kurt knows that Blaine is hiding so much behind the pretence of '_too much work'_.

Kurt's holding things back too, hiding behind his work just like Blaine. Sometimes it scares him how similar they are. But he can't put all the blame on Blaine. That's not fair. Kurt's working extra hours and extra hard because Blaine doesn't want to be around him anymore. It's like a vicious circle. He can't recall when it started, but it's been going on for a while.

They never used to argue like this. Yeah, they used to bicker, but all couples bicker over petty crap. But not like this. They've thrown things at each other. They've said things they both don't mean to each other. Blaine's stormed out. Kurt's stormed around the apartment. – which, by the way, is just how he always pictured his apartment with Blaine in New York to be like; high ceilings, light open space, modern décor; perfection. (However, married life isn't all it's cracked up to be. Hey, they made it past the first year, that's something.) – and somehow at the end of it all, they've come back together and had rough, angry sex that does nothing for either of them. Except they think it solves all their problems. It really, really _doesn't_. Kurt wishes it did.

Now all Kurt has to do, like every time this happens, is sit, wait and wonder where Blaine is and what he's doing until he returns home, shoves Kurt up against the nearest wall and ravishes him.

Sometimes Kurt _wants_ to argue with Blaine, just to get some feeling into their relationship once again. Because that's what it's lacking; _feeling_. And Kurt hates to admit it, even to himself, its lacking _love_. Kurt never in his nine years of knowing and _loving _Blaine did he expect their relationship to come to this. It's plain, it's boring and it has _never _beenboring. They may have, since they were kids, acted like an old married couple, but now that they are a married couple they don't act like one.

Kurt's thoughts are getting hectic and confusing him even more. Gigi is prancing around at his feet; the dog honestly doesn't know when Kurt just wants to be left alone. He steps away from her, his shoes that he hasn't taken off yet clicking on the wooden floor as he makes his way to the living room and he collapses backward onto the couch.

He rests his head in his hands and tells himself that this has got to stop. It's getting worse and worse, and nothing either of them is doing is stopping it. Kurt used to think that when things got worse they could only get better, now he knows how wrong that saying is.

He can't put a time or date stamp on when things in their relationship started to deteriorate, the only thing he knows is that it was a while ago. Maybe it was the argument about Blaine working late and not telling him that triggered it…

…

**Two months earlier; March 2020…**

_Blaine comes home from work late that night. Kurt's pissed about it. He's planned a lovely night for them because he got some time off work, for once. But Blaine didn't arrive home until 8:30pm and surely school doesn't __stay__ open that late on a Friday night. Does it?_

_So when Blaine does finally arrive home Kurt's waiting for him, arms crossed over his chest, expression sour._

"_Hey," Blaine says when he comes through the front door, dropping his bag on the side table and toeing off his shoes, like he doesn't even remember about tonight._

"_Did you forget something?" Blaine looks up to Kurt, his eyes widen and for a split second Kurt actually believes Blaine remembers about tonight. For a split second it was a nice thought. Blaine checks his jacket pockets and then his jeans and smiles when he pulls out his cell phone._

"_Not this time." He says, because he's been forgetting his phone at work a lot lately. But Kurt just shakes his head and Blaine looks at him confused. "What did I forget?" Kurt steps out of the way to reveal the kitchen table, it has candles lit on it, the lights dimmed, cold food out on the table, a half empty bottle of wine – Kurt got bored waiting – all of Kurt's labor laid out there waiting for his husband and Blaine couldn't even be bothered to text or call to tell him he's going to be late._

_The worst thing about it? Blaine doesn't even apologize. And that riles Kurt up more than anything._

"_Oh, yeah. I was working late, I thought I told you." Blaine says as casually as ever. "I'm sure you can heat it up, right?" He brushes past Kurt – not greeting him with a soft lingering kiss like he always used to, god, they haven't done that in way too long – and heads toward their bedroom. "Hey, listen. You heat up the food and leave mine in the oven, I'm gonna get a shower."_

"_No you're not." Kurt blurts, and okay maybe it wasn't supposed to come out like that, but whatever._

"_Excuse me?" Blaine turns on his heels, his voice questioning. Is Kurt seriously dictating what he can and can't do right now? Yes, yes he is._

_Kurt inhales sharply and takes a step forward toward Blaine. His arms are still folded over his chest, his back is ramrod straight and his expression is one contorted with anger and hurt. Blaine is his husband, he is the love of his life, if he misses dinner or is going to be working late he should at least have the decency to inform Kurt of that. But no, Blaine doesn't do that anymore._

"_I said, no you're not." Kurt repeats, slower this time, making sure Blaine understands. "I slaved for hours over the food, I'm going to heat it up and you're going to eat it with me, like I told you we would." Blaine's eyes narrow and he steps closer to Kurt, almost standing on Gigi in the process._

"_Kurt, I'm going to get in the shower," He says, punctuating ever word like it's hard for Kurt to understand. "We can eat after then, if that makes you happy."_

"_No, Blaine that doesn't make me happy." Kurt's getting angrier, his voice is rising and he can feel himself sweating through his tee._

"_Oh I'm sorry." He yells, sarcastically. "What will make Mr-I'm-Never-Satisfied happy then?" Kurt grinds his teeth together and bites his bottom lip. He cannot do this right now._

"_You know what, screw you Blaine, just go have your shower!" Kurt turns and makes his way back to the kitchen, putting away all the dirty dishes, slamming them as loud as he can, without breaking them, into the sink. Blaine's not going to have any food when he comes down. He can make his freaking own dinner._

…

No, it wasn't then. They'd been arguing before that. Well before that. That wasn't a bad argument. Kurt just got angry with Blaine, Blaine sulked for the rest of the night because Kurt didn't leave him any food and they ended up leaving marks all over each other's bodies that night. They weren't love marks like they used to be though. Sometimes Kurt actually thought he was purposely hurting Blaine. To be honest, he thought Blaine was doing the same to him as well.

So if it wasn't then, maybe it was the argument about Kurt not picking up the dry cleaning…

…

**Three months earlier; February 2020…**

_Kurt's had a busy day at work. In fact he's had a busy week at work. And nothing seems to be going right for him. With fashion week coming up he's been worked to the bone and no one is helping him with anything. His boss is an ass to him, his assistant doesn't have a clue what she's doing half the time and to top it all off Blaine's in a mood when he gets home._

_Well, that's just great._

"_Sorry I'm late, I've been working my -" Kurt says as he enters, removing his scarf and jacket._

"_Did you remember to pick up the dry cleaning?" Blaine asks from where he's bent down giving Gigi her dinner._

_Damn it. That's just another thing to add to his list of failures today._

"_Oh, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot. I've just been working so hard and –"_

"_You do know that we'll get charged if we don't pick them up today?" Blaine interrupts him again. And yeah, Kurt knows that. But what's $10 extra added to their bill, sometimes it's more. Blaine's forgotten the dry cleaning for a whole week before. It's surely not that big of an issue._

"_Well I can go and get them now if it's a -" He's interrupted once again._

"_They're closed now." Kurt checks his watch and Blaine's right, they close at 6:30pm - it's almost twenty to eight._

"_Well it's okay, I'll get them tomorrow-"_

"_What and you just expect me to pay the fine too?" Kurt gawks at Blaine, his mouth falls open and his eyes widen. What on earth is going on with him? Kurt shrugs his shoulders at Blaine as if to say 'so what' and apparently Blaine doesn't like that at all. "Kurt I'm not just your bank you know?"_

"_Those are my clothes too Blaine, it's not an issue!" Kurt yells because he just knows that Blaine's going to start yelling at him soon as well. "I can pay the money and besides he might let us off, it's just one day!" Blaine waves his hand in dismissal at Kurt and throws a knife in the sink; Kurt flinches at the sound of it hitting the metal._

"_No, Kurt," Blaine's voice softens and it's the first time in a while Kurt's heard him speak in a nice calming manner to him anyway. "I'm your walking bank, it's totally fine. Do you know how much I've spent this month on crap for you and your work?" Kurt knew Blaine would throw all the materials he bought using Blaine's card back in his face. They've been arguing over money a lot lately…_

…

No, it wasn't then either. That was over money and Kurt using Blaine as a 'walking bank', which he totally isn't, regardless that Blaine is flooded in money that he doesn't know what to do with half the time.

It could have been the argument over Blaine's dirty washing he left lying around the bedroom and Kurt tripped over one morning when rushing to get to work. That was a bad argument, just after New Year's too; it wasn't a good start to a new year.

Maybe it was the argument when Blaine forgot their wedding anniversary before Christmas, or maybe it was the argument they had at Kurt's parent's house on Christmas Eve. That was hectic and it resulted in an extremely awkward Christmas Day for the whole family.

It could have been the argument about Kurt turning up to Blaine's work unannounced, because he forgot his lunch, and interrupting a super important meeting with the staff. They didn't argue about that until Blaine got home that night but it still resulted in the same thing; tears and sex.

Kurt thinks back to the argument not half an hour ago. He wonders what actually caused that. Or what it was about, because it was a concoction of a lot of things. Most of which Kurt didn't even know Blaine was annoyed about.

Like, yesterday when Kurt forgot the milk, or last week when Kurt didn't remember to get the dog food for Gigi. Or that time a few weeks ago when Kurt forgot to tell Blaine they were watching Sophia – Rachel and Finn's little girl – for a few hours and Blaine had papers to mark.

All things like that came out in the argument today - things that Blaine had so obviously been bottling up for months on end, hiding from Kurt and everyone else. Kurt doesn't understand why Blaine didn't just tell him he was having some issues. It's what they used to do. _Talk_. They used to talk about things. Talk about everything to be honest, even the smallest of things. Sometimes they wouldn't be able to _stop _talking. Kurt misses that. He misses it a lot.

Today's argument was crazy. Kurt doesn't even know how it started, he just remembers Blaine coming home from work stressed out of his mind to find out that Kurt had to go back to work in less than half an hour. He was not happy about that…

…

**One hour earlier; May 2020…**

"_I'm sorry Blaine, it won't be for long." Kurt protests, but Blaine's not having any of it. He's super pissed that Kurt has to go back to work as soon as Blaine comes home, but Kurt really isn't control of it. Well, actually, that's not entirely true. Kurt's working on his own hours in his own time now, so yes he does have control over it._

"_It never is, is it Kurt?" Blaine snaps, making Gigi jump off the couch and yap at them. Gigi's been doing that every time they argue; she stands in the middle of them, on her little legs and yaps at them both until they stop shouting. She even sleeps between them in their bed now, because they don't even touch each other anymore._

"_No, Blaine it actually isn't." Kurt snaps back. "If I remember correctly it's always you who stays late at work, comes home and just gets in bed like nothing's an issue. To be honest, I don't even think you actually stay at work. You probably go to some random bar and have a few drinks with friends, because you'd much rather do that than spend time with your husband!" Kurt yells as he gathers the papers that Blaine threw in his direction when he first found out that Kurt was going back to work._

"_Are you accusing me of cheating on you now?"_

"_What? No. Don't put words in my mouth Blaine!" Blaine shakes his head and steps over Gigi, walking away from Kurt who is still gathering the papers. "Blaine, don't walk away from me like you always do!" Blaine stills and turns back to Kurt who has just picked up the last sheet of paper and is standing upright once again._

"_What do you want me to say Kurt?" He turns back and yells; he shrugs his shoulders in a 'I don't know what to say to you' gesture. Honestly, Kurt doesn't know what to say either; he just didn't want Blaine to walk off like he always does when they argue._

_Kurt sets the papers down on the coffee table and runs his hands through his hair. These constant arguments are getting him more stressed than his work load usually does. And that's saying something._

"_Come on." Blaine pushes for Kurt to say something but Kurt doesn't know what to say. "How about I talk then?" And Kurt could be okay with that, if Blaine spoke a little quieter so he doesn't disrupt their neighbors. "How about I tell you that I've finally gotten some time free to see if you wanted to maybe watch a movie with me and now you have work to do?" He settles his hand on his hip and watches Kurt as he bites his lip and darts his eyes around the room._

"_Blaine," Kurt starts, because what Blaine's just said isn't fair at all. Kurt's been trying for months to get some alone time with Blaine where they just 'talk' and don't do anything more, and now Blaine wants it the one time Kurt has to go to work. "You've been avoiding me for months now Blaine, all we've done for months is argue over crap! You can't say to me now that you wanted to have a nice night with me when just last week you stayed at work until 9pm just so you didn't have to see me."_

"_Actually I went to Cooper's." Blaine retorts, like being with his brother makes it any better._

"_Oh, so you were with your brother." Kurt rolls his eyes. "Yeah well, it's not like I'm not related to Cooper as well, he's my brother-in-law, why didn't you ask me to come too?"_

"_What? I'm not allowed to spend time with my brother without you there? Who are you Kurt, my _Mom_?" Kurt sighs in frustration and throws his head back in anger; he clenches his fists by his side and tries to contain himself._

"_You know what Kurt, fuck you!" Kurt flinches and takes a step back._

_Never in his life has he felt scared of Blaine. Never. But now, with the anger in Blaine's eyes, the pain, the way Blaine's twitching, his fists clenched in tight balls like he wants to hit something. For a fraction of a second, Kurt thinks Blaine might want to hit _him.

"_I am so sick of this! I feel like I'm walking on egg shells around you Blaine!" Kurt yells, because he's _not_ scared of Blaine at all and he knows that Blaine would never hit him, he would never want to harm him physically in any way. "I don't want to do that anymore, I just want my husband back." Kurt's sobbing, tears brimming over his eyes and flowing down his cheeks._

_Blaine ignores him, storms past and knocks the sheets of paper out of Kurt's hands. Kurt watches as they fall to the floor and then slumps down beside them when Blaine slams the front door closed._

_He doesn't go to work._

* * *

Blaine slams the apartment door behind him as loud as he possibly can, shaking the walls in the hallway. As he storms down the hall to the elevator, his neighbour, Francis – an old lady with wiry white hair and four cats – peeks her head around her front door and gives Blaine a weary smile as he passes. He doesn't smile back.

He carries on all the way down into the lobby of the building; he passes the doorman and wanders out onto the street. Oh it's raining; well done for pathetic fallacy. Without an umbrella or a jacket to keep him dry, the heavy rain soaks his thin shirt and he's thankful he wore an undershirt today; it wouldn't do him any good to be wandering the streets of New York with his chest and stomach on show through his shirt. He's really not in the mood to be gawked at right now, but then again walking in his rain with no umbrella will cause him to get stared at anyway.

He walks a little while longer, until he's out of the Upper East Side and into Midtown Manhattan. The streets are pretty quiet, with just the odd person running out of a coffee shop and jogging across the road to another building, or business men and women with their umbrellas up over their heads walking home or trying to hail cabs and failing. Blaine ignores them all and keeps his head down as he walks the streets.

This is what he does every time. He storms out of the apartment to get some air and cool off. Sometimes he hits the gym, other times he just walks aimlessly for hours, like he's doing now. Unfortunately for him it's still raining and he's only been out a few minutes but he's already drenched from head to toe.

Kurt was being unreasonable today. Then again Blaine has been being unreasonable for quite some time. In all fairness they both have. Neither of them really wants to speak to one another anymore, they barely look at each other, they haven't had a loving, passionate kiss in months, and the only time they are intimate is after they argue. Honestly, Blaine has been starting arguments on purpose sometimes, just to be able to be near Kurt like he used to be.

But it's nothing like it used to be.

Blaine used to be completely accustomed to Kurt, he used to know when he was upset, when he was hurting, when something was wrong at work or just when Kurt wanted to sit and cuddle all night. Now he knows nothing. It's like Kurt is a completely different person. A closed book when usually he was always so open.

He wonders if Kurt is thinking these things about him right now; he more than likely is. Only because they like to place the blame on one another, it's never themselves that cause the trouble in their relationship. But really, if Blaine thinks long and hard about it, most of the arguments have been his own fault and not Kurt's.

When Kurt works late though, it's tough not to blame him for things. Like forgetting the dry cleaning that time, forgetting the dog food, forgetting to tell Blaine that they'll be looking after Sophia for the night. It's just little things that have been getting at Blaine and it's a tough time of year for him. Finals are coming up in the next few weeks and he has to create tests for all his classes and then have them marked by the end of the week.

It's not Blaine's fault that he has to work late too.

Then again, it probably is.

He's just sick to death of all this crap. Their relationship has always always based on love and trust, and now Blaine isn't even sure he knows what Kurt is doing half the time when he's working. For all Blaine knows Kurt could be finding everything Blaine isn't giving him elsewhere. Like from the sleezeball Jerry who works for Kurt. Blaine's never liked him, but Kurt always has.

It makes Blaine feel sick to his stomach, like physical sickness. He actually wants to barf. He jogs into the nearest coffee shop – which happens to be the huge Starbucks in Times Square (and wow he's walked pretty far in the past 10 minutes) – and rushes to the bathroom. He locks himself in a stall and leans against the door for support. At least now if he's going to throw up he'll do it in a toilet and not in the street.

He sinks to the floor after a few minutes of silence in the bathroom, just the occasional _drip, drip, drip _of a leaky tap to accompany him. He lays his head in his clammy hands and breathes deeply. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale again. It's rhythmic and it calms him down. He focuses on his breathing while his mind wanders once again.

Can this really be happening to them? Kurt and Blaine. Blaine and Kurt. The high school couple that were supposed to last forever. After just three years of marriage are they falling apart? Blaine feels it in his core; he feels it in the one place he really doesn't want to. The once place he trusts the most and wishes wasn't saying what it is to him right now. He feels the pain, sorrow and dread in his heart.

If he doesn't fix whatever pieces are left of their fragile, broken relationship soon then there's going to be nothing left _to _fix. And Blaine really doesn't want that. But right now it feels like it's the only solution.

What he needs to do, he thinks to himself shuffling around on the floor and reaching into his jeans pocket, is call his Mom. She'll know what to do. She always knows what to do.

She's on speed dial – not for occasions like this though, because something like this has never happened before – and so it's easy to press number three and it rings straight away.

_Please pick up. Please pick up._

"Hello?" Mrs Anderson sounds in a rush, that doesn't surprise Blaine one bit.

"Mom?" He whispers, his voice very hoarse. Obviously he hadn't realized he had been crying.

"Blaine? Is everything okay?" Her voice is soothing. He's not heard her speak in a while, he hasn't seen her in a few weeks and it's refreshing. But it does nothing to ease his concerns.

"N-no." He stutters and begins to cry. Red hot, salty tears run down his flushed cheeks and he sniffles down the phone, wiping his nose on the back of his hand.

"Blaine honey," she coos. "What's wrong?"

"Kurt and I had a fight." He wants to say _again, _but his Mother doesn't know about their arguments. Come to think of it, nobody does. Not even Cooper, whom he now has found he's spending so much time with. Every time he goes round to his brother's after work, just to get away from Kurt, Cooper never questions his motives, he just assumes Blaine and Kurt are happy and have always been.

"Oh honey, married couples fight all the time. Your Father and I-"

"Mom, this is nothing like you and Dad fighting," Blaine doesn't like to mention his Father. His Mom doesn't really talk about his Father either. Blaine's Dad is a non-entity in their lives really, they don't talk about him much, and his Mother tries not to mention him anymore than is necessary. Blaine's never really gotten along with his Father, it's his Mom who understands – has always understood him – despite everything.

"Then what's it like honey?" She questions, the sound of papers being shuffled and moved around can be heard in the background.

"Mom if you're busy it doesn't matter I'll just go and find Cooper."

"No, Blaine. You called me, you are obviously very upset, tell me what's wrong." When his Mom speaks to him like that he can't help but not obey her. She's a very powerful woman when she wants to be. As a matter of fact she's a very powerful woman all of the time. She owns her own company and is in big business in places like New York, Boston, Washington D.C and she even wants to expand to L.A whenever she can.

Blaine inhales sharply and starts from the beginning. "Kurt and I have been fighting a lot lately. It's all we seem to be doing." He hears his Mom take a deep breath. "We haven't spoken to one another properly in about six months, it's awful. Living there is crazy Mom; I just don't know what to do anymore. We argue about everything, even petty little things. We both work too hard; we never see each other, I just…"

Grace Anderson shushes her son down the phone and tells him to calm down because his breathing is erratic and if he isn't careful he's going to end up having a panic attack with no one around to help. "Where are you honey?"

"In a Starbucks." He replies, looking around the small toilet cubicle and sighing.

"Okay, head back home for me; I'll stay on the phone with you. I'm just packing up-" He can hear her mumbling things in the background to her employees, and there are more sounds of papers shuffling about. "I'm getting in the car and I'll be at your apartment in about ten minutes. Tell me everything, honey." Blaine stands up from the cold tiled floor, his back cracking as he does. He unlocks the stall door and then walks slowly, almost zombie like, back into the bustling Starbucks and then out onto the street. It's still raining.

"There's not much to tell. We argue Mom. A lot. I never thought we could argue like this." Blaine's still crying, though his tears are slowing down a little now. He heads back in the direction of his apartment, his head down looking at the ground as he walks.

"Yes, but honey like I said, all couples argue. What is it you're arguing about?" He can hear sounds of cars passing her on the roads and he hopes that she's on Bluetooth and not holding the phone in her hand. That would just be stupid.

"Everything Mom. We argue about everything. Mostly it's petty things, but I think today the real reasons came out. We're avoiding one another. We're both working longer hours because we don't want to be in the apartment together. Even freaking Gigi sleeps between us." His Mom sighs at the other end and then he hears the sound of a car horn and his Mom grumbling things under her breath about people not being allowed to drive.

"Mom," he sighs knowing the words that are about to come out of his mouth are enough to make him want to curl up in a ball right now and wait for his Mom to come and find him and hug him and tell him everything's going to be okay. "I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what?" She says in a frustrated manner, but he knows it's not aimed at him as the sound of another car horn echoes through the phone.

"I can't be with him anymore."

Just then, as the words leave his mouth, there's a loud crash, a few bangs, yelling, another crash, the terrible sound of shattering glass, a scream and then deathly silence down the other end of the phone.

He feels sick. He knows what's happened. He just knows. He can feel it with every fibre in his body. But he doesn't want it to be true.

"Mom?" He says panicked. "Mom?" He repeats when nobody replies. There's sounds at the other end though, movement. He screams when he hears a voice – a voice that's not his Mom's – shout '_somebody call 911!'_

* * *

Kurt rouses a few hours later, his back stiff from being lay on the couch in the uncomfortable position he's in, to his cell phone ringing. His eyes still closed tightly, he reaches out with his hand to where the sound is coming from and searches along the floor. He picks it up and answers it, all without really having to open his eyes.

"Kurt?" Yells a panicked voice and it takes him a few seconds to register that that's Cooper. He shoots up, and opens his eyes, his surroundings coming into focus. Blaine isn't here. And Cooper would only be panicked like that for one reason; Blaine is hurt.

"Cooper? What is it? Is Blaine okay?" Cooper doesn't reply right away and Kurt's mind runs through all the terrible possibilities. What he doesn't expect though, is what comes out of Cooper's mouth.

"You need to get to the hospital," Cooper sniffles and it's obvious he's been crying. "It's Mom, she's been hurt in a car accident."

Kurt doesn't remember much that happened after that. The hospital was a blur, Cooper was a blur, Mr Anderson was a blur, the nurses and Doctors around Mrs Anderson were all a blur too. The only thing he does remember is Blaine with his tired, red rimmed eyes – when the Doctor came out of surgery, a sympathetic expression on his face and told them Grace Anderson had died on the operating table – turn to Cooper and just collapse in his arms.

Kurt wanted nothing more than in that moment to have Blaine collapse in his arms.

* * *

**:)**

**Well, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Stay tuned for regular updates Monday/Sunday's.**

**And, as always, reviews welcomed with all my heart!**


	2. New York Part Two

**Hey guys! Not much to say, might as well get on with the fic!**

**Just warnings for sadness.**

**Enjoy! **

* * *

-**Part Two.**-

**Three Months later; Kay's Coffee Shop, Brooklyn, New York City, August 2020**

"So, what's your plan for next week?" Rachel asks when Kurt hands her the non-fat latte he has in his hands. They're in a tiny coffee shop in Brooklyn that Kurt and Rachel found in their first year in New York together. It's quaint and cute, and Kurt loves coming here to reminisce when they were all so young and in love with this City. Now it's just the place where they live. The place they exist.

"I don't know." He informs her as they make their way to the very back of the shop – about two feet away from where they are stood now, because it really is that small – and sit in the only vacant table the shop owner saved for them. Kay – the owner – is a good friend and they always call her when they're going to pop by so she can save them their usual table. "What's next week?"

"It's Blaine's birthday." She says slowly, her eyes bugging out of her head when he didn't come to that conclusion right away.

_Shit, _it is Blaine's birthday next week and usually they go bar hopping about the City until they're too drunk to do anything but sit in the corner of some sleazy bar and get real deep with their conversations. "Did you forget?"

"Sorry, Rach. It's just, it's been a hard few months and with everything that's happened I don't really think Blaine is up to having a birthday party or anything along those lines as such." It's been three months since Kurt and Blaine's huge argument. Three months since Blaine stormed out of the apartment and went god knows where for an hour. Just three long and painful months since Blaine's Mom got in a tragic car accident and died. Three months isn't a long time to recover from all of that.

"Are you stupid?" She questions. And _no,_ Kurt is not stupid, what kind of a question is that? "That's exactly what Blaine would want! Something to get his mind off of all of this. A break, you know?" No actually, Kurt doesn't know. "When was the last time you had an actual conversation with him Kurt?" Rachel says it with slight amusement in her voice, but it's not funny. And only a few seconds after she says it does she realize that herself. "Oh my god, you haven't spoken to him in months have you?"

Kurt suddenly finds his paper cup extremely interesting, he runs his fingers along the rim of the cup and bites his bottom lip.

No, he hasn't spoken to Blaine since the accident. Well actually, he _has_ spoken to him; the problem is getting a reply. Thinking about it, Kurt can't even remember the last time Blaine looked at him. (Probably when he knocked Kurt's work papers out of his hands three months ago.) Wow, that's a long time to ignore your husband.

"Kurt," Rachel presses and he knows he's going to have to tell her. Why he didn't just laugh it off, he doesn't know. Maybe he _wants_ to talk about it. Maybe he needs to get it off his chest. Then again, he doesn't particularly want to cry in the middle of a coffee shop in Brooklyn.

"Can we take a walk?" Rachel senses his tone and nods feebly. They wave bye to Kay who's working at the register as they walk out and then they're onto the streets, the hot, humid summer air making everything sticky and horrible. But Kurt doesn't care, not like he used to.

Rachel slips her arm through Kurt's and they link as they walk aimlessly through the streets of Brooklyn, not really interested in where they go. It's strange walking these streets now; now that they've both got so much more than they originally had. Rachel's a Mother and part time Broadway star; Finn is a New York City police officer and they live in a cute little apartment in Chelsea. Kurt is an up and coming fashion designer, and his designs are getting noticed everywhere. Blaine is an English teacher and they live together in a vast apartment in the Upper East Side. It's crazy how much they have compared to what they started out with. Even Cooper moved from LA to New York last year to be closer to his brother – and try out the New York acting scene because according to Cooper 'LA is dying' – and now Cooper is crashing in their spare bedroom because he refuses to head home until Blaine's feeling better. Kurt doesn't think Blaine's going to get better any time soon though.

"So spill it Mr, what's going on with you and Blaine?" Rachel's straight to the point; usually he'd like that, right now though it's not the best trait a person could have.

Kurt drops his empty coffee cup in a nearby trash can as they walk past and then stops to sit down on a bench just inside of Brower Park. Rachel sits beside him, scooting close enough to hear him speak quietly but not so close as to invade his personal space, like she usually does. The one thing Kurt's always loved about Rachel is that she knows when to back off. It may not seem like she does to outsiders who don't know her, but when her best friend is upset she does all she can and no more than is absolutely necessary.

"This past year or so Blaine and I haven't been doing very well." Rachel frowns, her eyebrows knitting together, because she didn't expect those words to come out of Kurt's mouth.

"What like, since the accident?" That she could understand, the accident took a toll on everyone who knew Blaine and Cooper, and everyone is still slowly but surely recovering from it.

"No, before that." Rachel's mouth falls open in shock. "We've been arguing a lot since the middle of last year. When Blaine got promoted at work and needed to work extra hours and then just before Christmas I got a gig designing clothes for a supplier and I don't know, I guess we just drifted. We've been arguing ever since. We'd argue over anything; petty little things like dry cleaning and who's turn it is to clean the bathroom and where did I leave his folders for work and just…" Kurt takes a deep breath, trying to keep his voice steady so it doesn't break. Rachel lays her hand on his knee and squeezes, the scorching heat of her hand through the thin material of his linen pants makes him want to jump away from her and into a bath of ice.

"The night of the accident, Blaine and I had a huge argument. I think everything we'd been previously arguing about came to a standstill and the real stuff came flooding out." Kurt lets his head droop down, the dirty concrete much more interesting than the bright sunlight and the evergreen trees swaying in the wind. "It was so bad Rachel," he sobs and Rachel squeezes his knee tightly again. "I've honestly never seen him like that before, he was so…angry and-" Kurt can't say any more, he falls into Rachel's embrace, her tiny arms circling his shoulders, her chin coming to rest on his head, pushing his hair down. Usually he'd tell her to move and stop ruining his hair but this morning he didn't even style it, so it doesn't really matter.

This isn't him. He doesn't cry any more. He's not that guy. He's the strong one. He's been the strong one for so long. He's the one who cares about the relationship; so to speak. But now that Cooper's staying with them he's had to double his efforts, he's had to make it out like everything's okay between him and Blaine. And when Cooper's made terrible jokes about their sex life – which is pretty much non-existent now – they've both just laughed it off, like stuff like that still actually happens. It really, really doesn't.

"Kurt," Rachel's voice breaks his train of thought and brings him back to the park. "When was the last time you and Blaine had some alone time?" Kurt wonders what Rachel's going on about. Alone time, as in, just time alone? Or alone time, as in, _alone _time? Because neither of those options have a good answer, so either way she's going to be in for a shock. "Like, _alone _time?" She emphasizes and Kurt nods in understanding.

"About a week –" She smiles softly at him, jumping to conclusions like she always does. She thinks it was just a week ago that they had sex. It sure as hell wasn't - unless it happened and Kurt wasn't conscious. And that's really not a possibility. "Before the accident." Her smile quivers and falters into a straight line.

"Did it mean anything to you?" She had to ask that question, didn't she? The one question Kurt really doesn't want to answer truthfully.

"No." And he falls back into her arms sobbing uncontrollably. He's finally letting it all out, the tears, the months of holding them back, unfortunately now he can't stop them. He wishes he could.

"Oh, sweetie." She hugs him tightly and rocks him back and forth. People pass them while they sit there in each other's arms, Kurt sobbing, Rachel rocking him like a baby, shushing him and calming him down, though to no avail. Rachel doesn't care what people think, Kurt doesn't care either. All he wants is Blaine to come back to him, to love him again. And all Rachel wants is for Kurt and Blaine to be happy again. She doesn't think that's too much to ask for.

Kurt does.

* * *

Cooper Anderson's not your average guy. He's crazy with a _lot_ of good looking added on the side. He also knows love when he sees it. It's like a special gift of his or something. And what's really upsetting him right now, and has been for the past three and a half months, is that his house used to be filled with so much love he needed a barf bag every time he stepped in the place. He's not seen or felt love once in the time he's been here. And, shit man, it's scary.

Right now he's witnessing a fight that could put his Grandmother and Grandfather to shame. And, man, did they used to argue. He has never seen something this bad in his life before, especially not between his baby brother and his baby brother's husband. He's actually scared one of them is going to get a knife from the knife draw and slaughter the other in cold blood. Okay, so that's a little dramatic, but whatever, he's an actor, he's _allowed _to be dramatic.

But this, yeah, this is crazy. Kurt's yelling, Blaine's yelling, that little mutt they call a dog – Gigi, or whatever she's called – is yapping and Cooper is so confused it hurts his brain. What did they even start arguing over anyway? That fact that Blaine wears too many bow ties? The fact that Kurt _really _needs to stop wearing tight pants? Because, okay, Cooper is not gay in the slightest, but shit man those pants are tight.

Regardless of who started it or what they are arguing about, they're still arguing and it hurts his soul. Like, this is Kurt and Blaine man, they _never _argue. Come to think of it though, he doesn't think he's seen them interact properly in the three and a half months he's been here. As far as he knows they might not even sleep in the same bed anymore. Maybe Blaine sleeps on the floor with that god forsaken dog or something. No, actually the freaking dog probably sleeps curled up with Kurt because it's so fucking perfect – and someone really needs to tell it to shut the _fuck _up because it's really pissing Cooper off right now. Hello, does the dog not give a damn that Cooper is trying to figure out what's going on here?

He zones in on the yelling and tries to hear what's being screamed across the room without getting too close and in the line of fire, you know, in case Kurt decides to throw that dog across the room. And, a little part of Cooper would totally be okay with that. He just doesn't want to get hit by it.

"Gigi, will you shut up!" Kurt yells down at the dog, stomping his foot like a child, and you know, the dog actually shuts up.

For like a second.

Cooper rolls his eyes and steps closer to them, holding his hands out in surrender, because they could have a gun or something. And he'd much rather get hit by a tiny yapping dog than a bullet. This isn't a movie for god sakes, there's no cameras around, if someone shoots he'll actually get shot and what is he supposed to do then? He can't listen to the rest of this argument if that happens, man!

"You know what Blaine, why don't you just storm off like you usually do! Because that always makes things better!" Kurt screeches and Blaine's face falls, like he's been hit with a frying pan or something.

"Why don't you go and run off to work, you know where you put most of your fucking energy now?" Blaine yells back, and okay Cooper did not sign up for this when he moved in. But man, where's the popcorn when you need it?

"Oh, says you!"

"I haven't been to work in two months! I'm a freaking teacher, Kurt!"

"No but you made sure you found time to avoid me!" Cooper chews on his lip as he watches Kurt yell furiously. He should probably step in and do something to stop them because this can't be good for either of them, but like he said he doesn't want to be collateral damage. And hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Even though neither of them is a woman, the saying still applies.

Blaine growls in annoyance, like he literally _growls, _Cooper think's he'd make a good bear – though he needs to be a little taller and bigger for that. Shit they're still arguing and Cooper is missing it!

"…avoid me too Kurt, don't act like I'm the one in the wrong here!" Kurt shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair just like he always does when he's stressed or annoyed. Blaine clenches and unclenches his fists, and Cooper thinks he probably needs to box or whatever it is he does when he's angry and upset. Yeah, boxing.

"Oh, but you're never in the wrong Blaine, are you?" Now Cooper isn't very good at deciphering sarcasm but he for sure thinks that's sarcasm in Kurt's tone.

"No, actually I'm not! It's you and it _always_ is you, but because you are so freaking perfect, Kurt, and everyone falls at your feet, and you think I will with the snap of your fingers. Yeah, well I'm not that guy and I never have been!" Now that's just hurtful because Kurt isn't like that at all and Cooper's known him almost as long as Blaine has, bearing in mind he doesn't live with him, he still knows that his brother-in-law is a lovely person. Kurt might be a little bossy and controlling a lot of the time, but he certainly doesn't expect people to fall at his feet. And if he does Cooper never got that memo. Should he be bowing at Kurt's feet right now?

"Oh, grow the fuck up Blaine!" Cooper has never heard Kurt curse like that before; he knows this shit's getting serious now.

"No, Kurt I am grown up, it's you who still lives in this fucking fantasy that you're this well-known amazing person who everyone admires and loves! When actually everybody hates you! They're all just you're friend because they're scared of you!" Blaine's being really nasty to Kurt right now and Cooper doesn't like it. Blaine's never nasty, he hasn't got a nasty bone in his body, and this just isn't him. It's weird, it's like he's watching his brother possessed.

"Is that what you think Blaine? Do you hate me? Are you scared of me?" Kurt asks some interesting questions but before he or Cooper can learn the answers Blaine shakes his head, holding back tears and says quietly that he needs some air. When he's gone, the dog finally shuts up yapping and Kurt stomps off to his bedroom, slamming the door hard enough to knock a picture frame off the wall. Cooper hears the glass shatter and winces. He gets up off the couch and walks to the broken frame, scooping up the glass in his hands – careful not to hurt himself in the process – and sets it on the coffee table. He looks at the picture and vows to fix the frame because the picture is of Kurt and Blaine as teenagers; they're looking at each other with so much love in their eyes. Cooper wants that barf bag now. They obviously didn't know the picture had been taken and Cooper can just imagine their reaction after they heard the snap of a camera. Kurt would have been yelling that his hair didn't look right and Blaine would have run over to whoever took it and asked to see it. Then he would have printed off twelve copies and given one to everyone he knew.

This needs to be fixed.

Not just the photo frame. That's just a physical representation of what's broken in this house.

Kurt and Blaine need to be fixed. And Cooper's got just the idea.

But he needs his fateful sidekick first.

* * *

Kurt's cleaning the kitchen when Rachel comes to collect Sophia. Blaine and Cooper are in the living room with her, watching SpongeBob Square Pants; Kurt thinks the reason for that is because Cooper hadn't seen the episode that was playing. Sometimes Kurt gets worried that Cooper is really just a huge child inside, well actually he's not worried, per se, about Cooper being a child inside, it's Cooper acting on those childish ways that worries him.

So when Rachel arrives, all smiles and high pitched laughs, to pick up her three year old, Kurt leaves the cleaning behind and wanders into the living room where the rest of the family are congregating.

It's the first time in weeks Kurt's seen Blaine genuinely smile and he wishes now that he would have stayed with them to see him smile like that all the time. Then again, if he was there Blaine may not have smiled so much. Sophia is tapping Cooper's nose with her chubby little finger and laughing each time he winces and says a dramatic 'ouch'. Rachel jokes about Cooper being good at acting and he should totally be an actor, unfortunately he doesn't get the joke, which causes Blaine to laugh heartily, so really it isn't unfortunate. Kurt misses that laugh. He misses the joyous feeling he used to get around Blaine, always optimistic, always smiling, always happy, Blaine.

Rachel perches on the coffee table and Kurt so desperately wants to scold her – she could mark his coffee table for god sakes – but he doesn't want to draw attention to himself. This way, standing at the doorway, is easy for him to observe and just smile at them all without them acting differently because he's around. Again, it would only be Blaine acting differently anyway.

"Kurt," Rachel smiles at him and damn his cover is blown.

Blaine turns in his seat and glances at Kurt, who stands upright and walks into the room now that he's been spotted. He sits himself on the arm of the vacant chair and eyes Blaine cautiously. Blaine's expression changes; he's no longer smiles and laughs - instead he's straight faced and quiet. Kurt feels like he wants to explode. Rachel glances to him and then to Blaine, notices they're not even looking at each other, yet again, and then signals something to Cooper.

Kurt frowns in their direction as Cooper hands Sophia a cookie and sits her directly in front of the TV, automatically shutting her up. Rachel and Cooper both turn to Kurt and Blaine. Kurt looks to them both, utterly confused. What on Earth is going on here?

"Now, you're probably wondering what's going on-" Hit the nail right on the head. "And don't worry, we'll tell you," Cooper explains. "But first off we're going through some stuff." Rachel shrugs out of her jacket and lays it neatly on the coffee table. Kurt is about to protest when the sound of the metal buckle slams into the wood of the table – and honestly he's going to murder that woman one day – but Cooper holds his hand up, knowing what he's about to do. It's creepy, because Kurt sometimes feels like he has two husbands – when they are both speaking to him anyway.

Cooper shuffles forward, closer to Blaine and at the same time getting closer to Rachel. Okay, this is getting overly creepy for Kurt.

"Don't act like it's something completely out of the blue, because it sure as hell isn't." Cooper begins and Kurt honestly cannot think of what Cooper and Rachel have been brewing up in their cauldron. "You two have been arguing." _Oh._

"And don't pretend we haven't noticed, because we both have. Well actually Cooper's noticed, I've just listened to him and also seen that you don't really speak all that much any more, which is crazy because we all know how much you love each other." Blaine shifts awkwardly in his seat and folds his arms across his chest just like he does when he's uncomfortable in a situation.

"Rachel," Cooper shushes her – and oh, she's been talking _still, _Kurt should have probably listened to that. Ah, well. "To get to the point quicker than little Miss talks-a-lot here would." Rachel pouts in Cooper's direction but doesn't protest and lets him continue. "You two haven't been right for some time. Now, whether that's because of the accident I don't know, but Rachel's told me it's been going on since before that." Damn it, why does Kurt have to always open his big mouth and tell Rachel secret things when he knows full well that she likes to gossip. "That argument I witnessed last week was crazy man, and it really scared me. It's like you two don't even care for each other any more, and I sure as hell believe that that's not true." Yeah, well at least someone does.

Rachel steps in now, interrupting Cooper as he's about to say something. "And what you told me Kurt," She eyes him speculatively. "Isn't like you two at all. I don't think in my nine years of knowing you together have I ever seen you argue to the extent that Cooper described it to me." Does everyone around here gossip about people's private lives? Why does Cooper have to live in this apartment?

"And in all honesty, I have never seen Blaine that angry and hurt, and when my little brother is hurt it hurts me too." Cooper explains and it really does make Kurt feel bad, but then he remembers that Blaine starts most of the arguments and he tries to tell Cooper that, but he's been beaten to it. Apparently Cooper's got an answer for everything – even before the words are out of Kurt's mouth. "And yes I know, I could see how upset you were too Kurt, and Blaine you were being really hurtful." Blaine looks to the ground like he's being lectured by his Dad and he's an ashamed teenage boy again.

"All we want," Rachel picks up where Cooper left off, and this is getting freaky it's like they've got a script or something and have been reciting it for the past week, and you know what that really wouldn't surprise Kurt if he found out they did in fact have a script. "Is for you two to be happy again. I really don't think that's too much to ask for, do you?" Well, if she wants an honest answer…

"What are you getting at?" Blaine interrupts and Kurt can honestly say he feels a sharp pang of nostalgia flowing through his veins, because _oh god _that voice. That heavenly, glorious voice that he hasn't heard properly in weeks, even today when they babysat Sophia, Blaine said about two words and it was all in a laid back, quiet voice. This, this voice is _Blaine_.

Cooper inhales, glances to Rachel, who nods once and gestures for Cooper to continue with their script – Kurt refuses to think it's improv, no way man. "You two need some time alone to work through your issues – however many – and we're providing that. Think of us as a service," Rachel nods in agreement, smirking in their direction and Kurt wants to throw up because Rachel and Cooper working together cannot result in something good and well thought out.

"We're sending you on a couples retreat on a cruise around Europe!" Rachel screeches and Cooper slaps her arm groaning that he wanted to say that part. Rachel retorts with the fact that he was taking too long, but Kurt ignores everything they are saying. Blaine is looking directly at him, his honey eyes searching for an answer in Kurt's ocean blue ones – oh how ironic, _ocean _– but finding nothing of satisfaction. Kurt wishes he could just reach out and hold Blaine's hand or touch his face, anything just to show Blaine that he still does care, but he's scared it might startle Blaine and scare him off.

Cooper and Rachel are still arguing over the fact that Rachel blurted it out too soon and Cooper wanted more suspense, but Kurt still hasn't taken his eyes off of Blaine. And so when they finally stop arguing and ask Kurt and Blaine what they think, neither of them answers. But Rachel continues talking regardless.

"So you fly out to Barcelona tomorrow – actually you fly to London First Class on Virgin Atlantic." She flails, she actually _flails_ and then Kurt remembers Rachel's probably never flown First Class before. "Then from London you fly to Barcelona First Class again this time on British Airways, you land in Barcelona the day before you are scheduled aboard the ship, we've booked you into a 5 star hotel, the Novotel Barcelona City, so you'll have a lovely night in a suite there and then you'll head to the ship, Independence of the Seas the next day and embark on the seven night cruise around Spain, France and Italy, where you will end up in Venice, Italy, spend a day there then fly to London and then back to JFK on Virgin again." Rachel lets out a puff of air and smiles widely at them. Wow, that was a lot of information to take in in thirty seconds.

"Guys, that's a lot of money-" Blaine speaks again his voice startling Kurt once again.

"Blaine, we all have a lot of money. Me especially," Cooper says, smirking as he lays his hand over his chest, smiling sincerely at them both. Cooper's always one to boast about money. And also one to waste it. Something is telling Kurt that this trip will not be money wasted. "And Rachel and I are doing this for you, though I paid for more than she did," Cooper smirks as Rachel slaps his arm.

"I paid for what I could, you guys understand that right?" Kurt nods his head slowly, of course he understands that; Rachel is a working Mother so she doesn't have as much money as they do. She also didn't have to do this for them, but she did.

"Anyway, so I seriously suggest you guys go shopping and pack and get your passports and change your money. Oh wait, that's already all been done." Cooper grins like a child. Rachel roots around in her purse and hands Kurt an envelope with over $2000 worth of Euros. "Your credit card companies know that you're going away, the ship is an American ship so everything is paid for in Dollars, which is a bonus. Think of that money as a gift from your parents Kurt."

"What? My Dad knows about this?" He gestures with the envelope. Cooper and Rachel nod slowly in sync.

Kurt doesn't know what to say. This is all so overwhelming, he's going on a cruise with Blaine, a cruise is something he's always wanted to do – probably not in these circumstances but regardless – he's going on a cruise!

"Have fun guys!" Rachel exclaims loudly and tips her purse upside down, its contents emptying and releasing Kurt and Blaine's passports, flight information, hotel information, cruise information, insurance details and everything else they could possibly need.

* * *

**Well, well, well, Rachel and Cooper meddling? What could come of this?**

**Stay tuned for next weeks, and next weeks will probably be on the Sunday because it's Christmas Eve on Monday so...**

**Reviews, as always appreciated & welcomed with open arms. I also want to say a big thanks to those of you that read and review all my fics. You are the best!**


	3. Barcelona

**Well this shall be my last update until after Christmas & New Years. I'm gonna' be super busy with revision & family stuff & everything in between so I'm not sure when my next update will. And then in January I have loads of exams. But I'm not giving up, it will be updated :)**

**Merry Christmas & Happy New Year guys!**

* * *

-**Part Three.**—

**One day later. 35,000 feet, somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, August 20****th**** 2020**

The First Class seats on Virgin Atlantic are separate, and so Kurt and Blaine are sat in the same row but not directly next to each other. A part of Kurt is thankful for that. He doesn't think it would have been a good idea for them to start arguing 35,000 feet in the air with no escape.

Kurt's not checked the time nor has he moved from his seat since they served lunch, and now they're coming round with snacks – which he politely declines because the five course meal he had not long ago was enough for him and that cocktail made him a little drowsy anyway – so he's pretty sure that they've not got long left in their flight. Blaine is sprawled out in his seat in the row next to Kurt, not paying attention to whatever is playing on his TV screen; his eyes are closed and his mouth is slightly parted, one arm tucked under his head with the other resting on his stomach. Kurt's pretty sure he's asleep.

He fiddles with the handheld device and finds the station on the TV which tells him whereabouts they are and how much longer is left in their flight. Oh, wow, time really has gone fast. They have just over an hour left and are coming up to flying near Ireland. He wishes he could relax for that last hour, maybe drift off to sleep like Blaine. But there is so much on his mind, too many thoughts, too much for his mind to even comprehend right now. He's got another flight in less than two hours and then he's in Barcelona ready to start his week-long vacation.

He closes his eyes and relaxes back into his chair like Blaine, humming under his breath. After what's been about three minutes, he feels someone shake his shoulder and rouse him from his – slumber? – whatever it was.

"Sir, if you could just fasten your seatbelt we're coming into land." The air hostess mumbles quietly to him and smiles as he blinks his eyes open and blindly reaches for his seatbelt which is crumpled under him. "Thank you, Sir." The British girl wanders off to speak the same thing, no doubt, to other passengers. She's obviously already spoken to Blaine because he looks like he's just woken up too. Kurt's shocked to see that Blaine is looking at him, actually _looking_ at him. Kurt wonders if this is going to be the start of something good for them, a new, fresh start.

It doesn't take them long to touchdown and, because they're in First Class, they're the first off the plane and they don't even see anyone else that was on the aircraft for the six hours they were in the air. Their bags are off right away and are delivered to them while they wait in the First Class lounge. They get escorted through the airport to their connecting flight with British Airways, and Kurt makes a mental note to write Heathrow Airport a letter telling them how amazing they are. Maybe Richard Branson would want to hear from him too, he always likes flying with Virgin – whenever he goes to England anyway, which isn't often, but still, the sentiment counts.

Their British Airways flight isn't as good as the Virgin one; it is only an hour and half flight but it's still nowhere near as good as Virgin. He shifts in his seat for the whole flight, only ordering a diet coke and then closing his eyes trying to get some rest before they touchdown in Barcelona. It's been a long day and it wouldn't surprise him if they check into the hotel and just fall straight into bed – to sleep, because that's all they do now with each other, sleep.

The hotel is modern but pretty bland. That's Kurt's only issue with somewhere being modern - it's always too plain and under decorated, they think adding a vibrant color to one wall makes everything better, but it really doesn't.

"Do you want to go around the city, maybe get a bite to eat?" Kurt almost drops his toothbrush when Blaine pops his head around the bathroom door and looks at him through the mirror.

"Uh, sure," Kurt replies, even though his mouth is full of toothpaste because well, Blaine hasn't spoken to him directly in a nice, calm manner in a while.

Kurt rushes to get ready, coiffing his hair perfectly, spraying Blaine's favourite cologne on himself – he's trying to impress, he knows that, but who cares? – he dresses up but wears as little as possible because it's like eighty eight degrees and that's hot, even at 7:30pm.

They wander the streets, walking close together but not touching, Kurt's too hot in his cream linen shorts and polo shirt so Blaine must be suffocating in his dress shirt and shorts. There aren't many shops open at this time of night, but there are a few still open, including a lot of restaurants up and down _Las Ramblas_. Blaine directs them to a restaurant after about half an hour, complaining that he's starving even though he had a five course meal not that long ago.

The restaurant is busy, but not busy enough that they can't get a table for two near the window, with a nice view of the people wandering up and down the street. Silence plagues them for most of their meal and they zone in on other peoples conversations around them. Unfortunately for Kurt, he speaks little Spanish and so it's hard to understand what they're saying at all. Blaine though, being pretentious and perfect, speaks Spanish, not as fluent as he does Italian, and so can order in Spanish and it makes Kurt feel special.

Kurt's about to pay for the meal with his credit card, because they're saving the Euros for when they actually get on the cruise and get to the many different ports of call. He shits himself when he realizes he hasn't brought his American Express. Blaine hands his own credit card over to the waiter and gives Kurt a slight smile.

"I'm so sorry; Cooper got me distracted yesterday when I was sorting everything out. I must have left it on the coffee table." Blaine shakes his head and inputs his pin number into the machine. They stand when everything is paid for and Kurt leads them out of the restaurant back into the street where it's still very warm and somewhat light out for 9:30pm.

"I really am sorry; maybe I could get Cooper to Fed-Ex it me." Kurt continues.

"Kurt," Blaine says and Kurt tries to hide his gasp at the sound of Blaine's soft voice speaking his name. "It's fine. Just use my credit card. It's not like you don't know the pin number." Kurt smiles a crooked smile and continues to walk forward, back in the direction of their hotel. After a few minutes of walking in silence – awkward silence if Kurt says so himself – Blaine actually slips his arm through Kurt's and leans into him. It's nostalgic, just like everything Blaine does, in Kurt's eyes, now.

When they return back to the hotel, Kurt quickly changes into his nightwear and climbs into the bed, though he decides on sleeping on top of the sheets because it's that hot in their room, even with the air con on.

"You looked nice tonight." Blaine mumbles as he curls up beside Kurt on the double bed.

"Thank you, you did too." Kurt bites his bottom lip because this situation is so awkward it actually pains him physically.

"Night Kurt," Blaine sighs, yawning into the darkness.

"Goodnight Blaine." He pauses for a few seconds, just listening to the sound of Blaine's consistent breathing, before continuing. "I love you."

He doesn't get a reply.

* * *

**Barcelona Docks, Independence of the Seas, August 21****st**** 2020**

The ship is extravagant. They step on-board on deck four and walk out of the hot, humid air of Barcelona into the cool, air conditioned air of the ship. Her interior is stunning and impeccably styled. Though the carpet makes Kurt's eyes go a little funny.

They press for an elevator because they have small carry-on luggage and don't fancy walking up five flights of stairs. The glass elevators are glorious and reasonably spacious, Kurt, Blaine, their luggage and three other people fit nicely inside with room to spare. It takes three stops before Kurt and Blaine exit onto deck nine and then they walk along the corridor to find their room. 9650 is their room number and Kurt is the first to use his key card – which they were told also acts as a credit card and everything else they would need on-board, so _do not lose it _– and he gasps when he enters the suite. It's not the biggest suite on-board, Cooper made sure to apologize profusely for that, but it was the only big-ish one they could get hold of at such short notice. Kurt thinks it's perfect.

It's spacious, with a couch and a dressing table and a large balcony. The huge queen size bed _barely_ takes up any room and there is a bath _and _a shower. The walk in closet is a huge bonus for Kurt and he cannot wait to unpack and admire his clothing.

Blaine drops his case on the floor by the bed and heads outside onto the balcony, leaning over and inhaling the fresh, sea air. They have an emergency drill at 4:45pm, just before they leave the port and so Kurt quickly begins unpacking so that once the drill is over they can wander around the ship for a few hours before they have to get ready for their dinner, which is at 8:30pm. The rest of their baggage arrives at their door just in time for Kurt to unpack most of it and get down to the drill on time.

The drill is over reasonably quickly and their muster station – or whatever it's called, Kurt _thinks_ it's called a muster station – is out on deck four so at least he was outside, then again the sun is way too bright right now, and Kurt begins to wonder if he packed enough sun screen for the weather they are expecting.

Once Kurt and Blaine are both successfully unpacked – courtesy of Kurt because Blaine does not know how to line up his clothing correctly so they don't crease or catch fluff – they head down to the dining room to search for their table. But when they arrive at the Macbeth dining room – not the best Shakespeare play if Kurt's being honest and Blaine being an English teacher probably agrees – they find something they both really didn't want to. The table they have been assigned to is a table for four. They speak to the Maître D but he comes back to them with bad news; this is the only table available unless they go to the earlier time.

Kurt will just have to live with it, hopefully the people that sit with them aren't a snotty nosed old couple who complain about everything and hate gay people – and Kurt's seen a lot of old people on-board. That wouldn't be fun.

Together, though barely touching or acknowledging one another other than to state that they like the architecture of the ship, they wander through the ship as she sets sail to their first port of call. They watch the people on deck 11 – the pool deck – wave bye to Barcelona. They check out the gym, where there's a boxing ring and Kurt thinks Blaine might use that once or twice. They then make their way back down to deck 5, examining the facilities on every deck before they reach it, where the Royal Promenade is located and they wander down the street – it's very well designed – grab a sandwich and coffee from the Café Promenade and then head back up to their room.

It's kind of awkward between them. Well, actually it's a _lot_ awkward between them. It's like they don't know how to act around each other. Which is weird, if you ask Kurt, because they've been together for nine years, they know each other probably better than they know themselves, and this is what they've ended up like. Kurt hopes by the end of this vacation they can be back to normal. No more petty arguments, no more avoiding each other, just being together liked they used to be. Kurt wants that so much.

Kurt's been texting Cooper with updates on their whereabouts since they left New York yesterday – well, he thinks it's yesterday; the time difference is so confusing – and Cooper's been texting back with so many questions. Kurt decides on dropping him one last long text;

_Hey Cooper, the ship is amazing, the suite is beautiful – thank you so much, you didn't have to do all of this for us – we're just about to get ready and head down to dinner. We have a table for four and we're just hoping that the people sat with us aren't douchebags. Hope everything's good back in the City, don't miss us too much. And don't have loads of girls in my apartment. I'll keep you informed throughout the trip._

_X – Kurt and Blaine._

He doesn't get an immediate reply, though that's probably because of the signal and the distance between them.

Blaine exits the bathroom just as Kurt is hanging up his outfit for the night on the closet door. He turns, and because the space between the bathroom and closet isn't all that big, smacks right into Blaine's very wet, very naked chest.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry." Kurt murmurs, pulling away, but leaves his hand to linger on Blaine for a few seconds longer. They look into each other's eyes, the familiar glint flashes across Blaine's hazel eyes and Kurt almost melts on the spot. He misses that, he misses it so much. "I, uh, need to get past you."

Blaine steps aside very slowly, still keeping his eyes on Kurt until he walks forward and steps inside the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

That was strange. Blaine hasn't looked at Kurt like that in a long, long time. His thoughts plague him throughout his shower, and man, is it a nice shower with jets and everything. He styles his hair, brushes his teeth and puts on all his creams in the bathroom mirror before exiting and allowing Blaine to head in again.

He dresses in dark washed skinny jeans and a light blue dress shirt – it's only a casual night in the dining rooms so he doesn't want to get too dressed up – he puts on his Dr Marten boots he travelled in, because he cannot be bothered messing around and it's not all that hot on the ship anyway. Blaine dresses in a black polo shirt with cut-off jeans and some Chucks. He looks stunning, as always, and he even lets his hair out of the gel – well a little bit out of the gel but Kurt knows with the humidity and the heat these next few days he's not going to be able to wear much hair gel.

Just as Kurt is leaving the room, his cell phone buzzes in his pocket – which reminds him to put it on charge that night –and he sees that it's Cooper replying to his earlier text.

_Hello there in Europe! Glad you like the ship; she's a beauty isn't she! I apologize again about the size of the room, it's a little on the small side. I tried to get you an Owners Suite but they were all sold out. I'm sure the guys at dinner will be fine; if they're not there are plenty of other places to eat on-board. Anyway, like you said, keep me informed on what's happening. And Kurt, about Blaine, give him some time, you'll see that he'll come around._

_X – Cooper and no women._

That guy is such a smart ass.

* * *

When they arrive at the dining room and are directed to their table, a couple is already sat there. The man and woman stand up when Kurt and Blaine reach the table. The woman is a pretty brunette, probably in her early thirties, and the man is a dark haired, older looking man with facial hair and a bright smile.

"Hi, I'm Lynn, this is my husband Jack, and you are?" She offers her hand for them to shake and they all take turns in shaking hands and introducing themselves.

"I'm Kurt, this is my husband Blaine." Kurt says husband right away because he automatically feels comfortable with Lynn and Jack. They're all smiles and laughs, and when Kurt says husband neither of them say anything or even falter in their smiles like a lot of people tend to do.

"It's lovely to meet you." Jeff says as she takes his seat next to Lynn and slides his arm along the back of her chair and she leans into him. Kurt and Blaine sit in their own chairs and allow the waiters to lay napkins over their laps, hand them the menus for the night, introduce themselves and then offer them bread rolls.

"So, Kurt, Blaine, tell us a bit about yourselves." Kurt notices her British accent now that he's sat down and not as chaotic as before.

Kurt glances to Blaine but Blaine is looking at Lynn. So he decides that he might as well answer her, if Blaine's not going to. It's strange because usually it's Blaine that's the talkative one. Kurt better answer her quickly because he doesn't want to look rude or ignorant or anything like that. "Uh, well I'm Kurt, I'm a fashion designer in New York, I'm twenty four, and Blaine and I have been married for three years."

"Three years?" Jeff laughs heartily. "Try ten years. Still got a long way to go guys." Kurt smiles warmly at him, but what he's saying makes Kurt think. Ten years is a long way to go, it's a long time to be married too. Kurt honestly, looking at things logically right now, doesn't know if they'll even make it to the end of this year. And that kills him inside.

"Yeah and that's without kids. A fourteen year old back home is something you can look forward to as well." Kurt forces a smile and settles back in his seat awkwardly as the waiter comes around with their starters – god, it felt like two minutes ago that Kurt ordered his food, the service is fast here; he likes that.

"So Blaine, what about you? What do you do for a living?" Lynn asks as she spears a lettuce leaf in her Caesar salad with her fork.

Blaine clears his throat and sets his fork down before he speaks – he's very well-mannered and sometimes it really pisses Kurt off. "I'm a High School teacher."

"Oh, how wonderful. What year do you teach?" Kurt remembers that Lynn and Jeff are British, and don't know the different schooling system they have in America.

Blaine just smiles charmingly and answers. "Um, I have a lot of classes across the board, but I'm mostly with the seniors and juniors – those are 16 to 18 year olds."

"Ah, I see. I'm a nursery teacher, which is Kindergarten –" she looks to Kurt who nods, "- where you're from. Jeff works in an office, doing something, I don't know, it's weird."

"Honestly, I don't really know what I do either." Kurt laughs and smiles at then couple across the table from them widely. Blaine's looking happier and he's actually eating all his food, which is more than he's done these past few months. Kurt's glad. This vacation could be good for them all.

The meal is delicious and Kurt really wants to go to the kitchens and praise the cook but he knows he's unable to do that. He'll just have to write Royal Caribbean a very nice letter of thanks when they leave the ship.

Lynn and Jeff ask them if they want to go for after dinner drinks, but Blaine is the one to politely decline. He explains that they've had a long two days of travelling and the time differences are confusing to them. Lynn and Jeff understand and say goodnight to them.

"I liked them," Kurt says to Blaine as they go back up to their room in an empty elevator. Blaine hums in response and practically jumps out of the elevator once it stops on their floor. He walks extremely fast to their bedroom, slides the key card in the lock and then holds it open for Kurt. The room has been turned down, their bed turned over at the corner – Kurt hates it when places do that. I mean, do they think he doesn't know how to get into bed or something? – and the dim lights on around the room. He flicks the TV on and pulls off his boots; his feet are seriously aching, and gosh, so is his back. He may have to look into getting a treatment or a massage at the Spa or something.

Blaine has left the bedroom and is stood outside on the balcony. Kurt can just make out his silhouette from where he is sat on the bed and decides on going out to see if he's okay. He probably won't get much of a reply but it's worth a try, right? You don't get anywhere if you don't try.

He gets up off the bed and walks the distance across the room to the balcony door. He pulls it open, but the noise doesn't cause Blaine to turn around or even acknowledge it. Kurt figures it's because he knows who it will be.

Blaine's leaning against the railing, his hands clasped together; his head is dipped a little, looking toward the ocean below them. Kurt wonders what he's thinking and hopes that it's not what's going through Kurt's mind right now, because if it is Kurt will be the first to stop him. Kurt walks very slowly, cautiously as if not to startle him away – _he's like a deer_, Kurt thinks.

The wooden railing is rough against Kurt's arms as the sleeves of his shirts are rolled up to his elbows, but he leans against the railing and next to Blaine regardless. Blaine doesn't move - he doesn't even acknowledge the fact that Kurt's next to him, it's like as if Kurt doesn't exist to him when they're alone.

Blaine doesn't look happy, but then again he doesn't look sad either. His expression is somewhat neutral as he stares out into the wide open ocean, looking at the crescent moon in the sky. He doesn't want to move any closer to Blaine than he already is, as he's scared that Blaine might jump away from him. So instead, he huffs out a breath and looks down at the ocean just like Blaine. From here, if he turns to the right, Kurt can see other people on their deck out on their balconies too. There are a couple a few rooms down that are smoking and talking loudly, they're probably drunk. Kurt wants to avoid drunk people as much as he possibly can for this cruise.

"Did you have a nice night?" Blaine's voice actually startles Kurt – which is ironic because Kurt didn't want to startle Blaine before but now Blaine has startled him – and Kurt slowly turns his head to see Blaine looking at him, the moonlight making his hazel eyes look glorious and amazing as they glint with the light.

"Yeah, I did. I was scared, you know, about Lynn and Jeff not being nice and not accepting us, but they were lovely. I enjoyed their company." Blaine nods in what Kurt thinks is agreement, though he can't be sure. "What about you?" Kurt asks, because he doesn't want Blaine to stop talking even though he's not really said all that much.

"It was nice, the ship is lovely. Cooper really shouldn't have done all of this for us though." Blaine says, no longer looking at Kurt, looking back to the vast ocean instead.

"Yeah, I told him that." Kurt says and they dissolve into silence once again. Kurt rubs the side of his neck like he does when he's uncomfortable in a situation and as soon as he realizes what he's doing, he stops abruptly. He's never, not once, had to do that around Blaine. He's never been uncomfortable around Blaine. The feeling makes him want to cry.

"I feel like I've wasted my life." Kurt feels like Blaine's just admitted something. And that was not something Kurt really wanted Blaine to say though. It's very vague. Like, what's he wasted his life with? Work? School? _Him_? And besides, how on earth can he have wasted his life, they're both so young, how on earth has Blaine wasted his life when he's barely even lived it?

Kurt clears his throat, though it's a little croaky and nervous. "What, um, _why_ do you feel like that?" Blaine shrugs his shoulders. Maybe he doesn't know. Maybe he just doesn't want to tell Kurt. But now Kurt's paranoid. He wants to know what it is Blaine thinks he's wasted his life on. Or who. "Well, what do you feel you've wasted your life on?"

Blaine bites his bottom lip and risks a glance to Kurt. As soon as he sees Kurt's somewhat distressed face though, he quickly looks away and back out to the ocean. Kurt wonders if Blaine thinks that by speaking toward the ocean he's got courage and isn't afraid to say what's on his mind. So instead of making Blaine look at him when he talks, like Kurt usually does, he lets Blaine just talk to the ocean.

"She was so young." He says and Kurt now understands what Blaine's talking about, though he still has that horrible feeling in his gut that Blaine really feels like he's wasted his life being with Kurt. "It wasn't fair for her to die like that, _then_."

Kurt knows that Blaine needs right now is a hug – well, old Blaine would have wanted a hug, maybe a nice sweet, soft kiss – but Kurt won't give him that. He wants to, he wants to so badly. But he doesn't even move.

"Blaine," Kurt starts but Blaine talks again, and Kurt doesn't want to tell him to shut up; this is the most he's heard him speak – with Kurt near him anyway – in months. This is progress. Just like Cooper said.

"I miss her so much, you know? It's like, how is Cooper coping? How is he just normal?"

"He's not," Kurt interrupts. He has to, because what Blaine is seeing is not what's actually happening. It's like he's been seeing what he wants to and not the whole truth, because Kurt knows that Cooper is just being strong for Blaine. Kurt wants to cry all the time because of the tragedy that occurred months ago, so if Kurt wants to cry all the time then the feeling must be intensified about a hundred times with Cooper and a thousand times with Blaine. "He's hurting Blaine, he's hurting so much. We all are." Kurt whispers and edges ever so slightly closer. Blaine pulls away from the railing at first, but then settles into Kurt's side after a few seconds.

"I know this is hard, it's hard for all of us. It's especially hard on you and Cooper, but Blaine, you have to let people in, I'm not saying now, obviously you need some more time, but I want you to know, I'm here Blaine, I'm always here for you. Regardless of what's happened with us in the past." Blaine sniffles and Kurt hadn't even known he'd been crying. When he hears that, he lets all his inhibitions go to the back of his mind and he pulls Blaine into a hug. He can't remember the last time he hugged his husband but he knows it has been a while. It's refreshing, the feeling he gets, it's strange and nostalgic, but he relishes in it.

And the bonus is that Blaine actually hugs back. He holds onto the back of Kurt's shirt so tightly, as if he's worried Kurt might float away. Evidently, Kurt's worrying the same thing about Blaine.

"Come on, honey," And wow, using a pet name like that, after all this time, feels alien to him. "Let's go to bed."

Kurt lets go of Blaine as he holds the balcony door open for him and then steps inside himself, closing and locking it. They both strip out of their clothing and pull on their nightwear, they take turns in heading to the bathroom and then they both climb into bed. They don't kiss goodnight like they used to, but Kurt takes it as progress that when he turns the TV and the lights off and they are in darkness, Blaine reaches down and intertwines their hands together.

Yeah, progress.

* * *

**Don't get excited guys, it might seem things are getting better, but I'm not _that _nice. ;)**

**Stay tuned and have a good holiday!**

**As always reviews would be lovely, especially around the holiday season!**


	4. Toulon

**Hey guys! Early update again this week as it's New Years tomorrow and I'm gonna' be out all day!**

**I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas, I know I did! **

**Unfortunately things aren't all merry and bright for Kurt and Blaine right now in this fic (or canon, but let's not talk about that).**

* * *

-**Part Four**—

**Day two. Provence, Toulon, France. August 22****nd**** 2020. **

They disembark the ship just after 9am when they dock. It's eighty six degrees in France and it is scorching. Kurt's wearing SPF fifty sun block and he's still worried about getting tan lines – or even an actual tan – through his freaking t-shirt and shorts.

Having the ability to tan perfectly and not burn is something he really resents Blaine for. Blaine's stupid – _beautiful_ – skin tans so easily, that he barely has to be out in the sun for two minutes before he's got a tan to die for. Kurt's not afraid to admit he's jealous of his husband's body.

Provence is beautiful; with its white buildings and gorgeous beaches and French cuisine. They didn't choose to go on any trips today: Kurt wanted to go to Nice but they also wanted to explore the ship some more, get a better feel for it, so they – well, Kurt actually – decided on just going ashore for a few hours, walking around the little town and then heading back to the ship in time for lunch.

An old French couple's house that they pass by walking toward a café, call them over to look at their vineyards. Kurt is fascinated by all the wine they make and they end up staying with the couple – who speak impeccable English – and try some wine. Blaine's sceptical at first (the couple could be out to poison them with their wine) but a few minutes after they've walked back down the street, their mouths tasting of red and white wine, one of the tour groups of the vineyards come wandering up and head into the couple's house. They're safe.

Apparently all that exists in the south of France is vineyards and wine cellars, and they accidently stumble across what's called Les Caves Saint Charles. The cellar dates back to the 13th century and Kurt is utterly amazed by it. He's a big fan of architecture and the cellar is stunning in its design. As it's reasonably early they don't need a reservation to tour it and the owners allow them to wander around the cellar for a few minutes.

Right before they get back to the dock just before midday there's a little market that's opened and sells all sorts of cute little things. Kurt buys Rachel a bracelet – using some of the Euros Cooper gave them – and he buys himself a leather wristband too. Blaine doesn't buy anything; he just stands in the sun, his hat placed precariously on his curly hair, and observes.

They board back on the ship just after 1pm as the line for security is busy as hell. They head back to their room to put the things they bought – Kurt decided he would buy a few cute little bracelets for Rachel and Carole and maybe his assistant, though that all depends on whether she does her job well during his vacation time – away safely. Their passports, which they were told to take ashore just in case, and wallets are put back in the safe and then they head up to deck 11 to grab some lunch in the Windjammer Café.

Kurt usually is a person who complains and moans about everything and anything he possibly can - he's never satisfied with anything at all. But honestly, in the day and a half he's been aboard Independence of the Seas, he's had nothing to complain about and it feels so foreign to him.

For lunch he gets a salad, just like he did yesterday, and he makes sure to grab two punches, because wow that drink is seriously tasty. Blaine has already found a table for two by the window so they are able to look out into the port. As soon as Kurt sits down, Blaine gets up to go and get his own lunch, which will most likely be a burger and fries, because well Blaine can't resist that kind of grease.

Kurt digs into his salad and moans quietly in delight. The dressing he chose today – ranch, he thinks – is the most amazing dressing he's ever had in his life. Man, does he need to get the recipe for this and make his own. His Dad would like this. Oh, which reminds him, he probably needs to text his Dad or something, check in with him to make sure he knows they're okay and everything. He'll do that later.

Blaine returns a few minutes later with Lynn and Jeff in tow. Kurt smiles widely at them as they find a table for four nearby. Blaine gestures for Kurt to move to sit with them and he picks up his plate and quickly scoots over to the table. Blaine slides in beside him and puts his plate on the table, it's piled high with what looks – and smells – like chicken curry with a large side of fries. Kurt honestly doesn't know where Blaine puts half of the food he wolfs down.

They all sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes whilst Lynn and Jeff go up to the buffet to get their lunch. Jeff returns with a burger and fries – or as he calls it, a burger and chips – and Lynn follows closely behind with a steaming cup of tea and a bowl of mushroom soup. Kurt really doesn't like mushrooms and the smell is actually knocking him sick, but he doesn't mention it. He's not that much of a horrible person.

Lynn and Jeff don't say much as they sit back down and dig into their lunch. The conversation is light and quiet as they eat and observe the people around them. Kurt's surprised there aren't more people on-board. He saw a lot of trips head out early this morning, literally just after they docked, but he doesn't think there are that many people still wandering around Provence. The town is tiny and there really isn't all that much to do unless you are a wine enthusiast or booked a trip, or even hopped on the train or bus and headed into the other nearby towns.

There's a couple sitting near them; they are with their family and their children, and Kurt watches them as the Dad feeds his little girl in a high chair. She's obviously only young if she's still in a high chair, but Kurt laughs at the fact that she knows what she wants to eat and what she doesn't. After a few seconds of trying to be fed carrots and peas, she throws the spoon in her hand in the direction of her Dad and points to the small pile of fries on her little plate. Kurt finds that adorable.

He feels a light touch on his inner arm and he turns his head quickly to face Blaine who has his hand lay lightly over Kurt's wrist. Blaine pulls his hand away when Kurt's attention is on him and he gestures with his head to Lynn who is grinning, her white teeth gleaming, at him.

"Kids; not at cute as they look. Hilarious though." She adds, smirking as Jeff rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Kurt sees Blaine's eyes crinkle at the corner and his mouth threatens to turn up into a smile. "She's a cutie," Lynn points with her fork in the direction of the little girl Kurt was just looking at – and wow, that sounds _terrible_ in his head – who is now yelling something incoherent to her Dad who is trying to quieten her down with fries on the end of his fork. Apparently she's no longer satisfied with the fries. "Have you two ever thought about having kids?"

It's a completely innocent question. Anyone else would answer easily, yes or no. But for Kurt it's difficult. It also appears that way for Blaine too, as he's focused on his half empty plate of chicken curry.

He honestly doesn't know how to answer her. Has he thought about kids? Yes. Does he want kids with Blaine? Of course. Does Blaine want kids with him? He has no idea and that's what he's terrified of.

Blaine clears his throat, glances to Kurt and then back to Lynn as he answers the question; to an extent. "Obviously it's much harder for us to have children, and America still isn't as accepting of us as we would have hoped in this day and age." Lynn nods in understanding.

"My brother's son is gay and it's difficult for him in England, so I understand how hard it must be for two grown men in America." Blaine nods, his charming smile never faltering and Kurt knows what smile. It's fake. It's the smile Blaine uses when he doesn't really want to talk about something but knows he has to, because it's polite. And if there's one thing that Blaine Anderson is; it's polite. Sometimes Kurt worries that it comes across as patronizing and honestly, sometimes it does. "But surely you've thought about it? Kids are hectic and annoying, but they are amazing and if you think you love each other a lot wait until you have a little baby in your arms, you'll never know love like it."

Kurt fears that Lynn is painfully honest; she comes across that way anyway. He also fears what Blaine is going to say in response to her. So instead he answers.

"I'd love to have kids, but maybe just not yet." He says smiling and lays his hand over Blaine's.

Jeff obviously, with his man sense or whatever, senses that this conversation is a sore topic for them and quickly changes it to something Blaine can relate to more easily. Football. Though apparently football isn't the same as it is in America in England, and he tunes into parts of the conversation as Jeff explains the rules to Blaine.

"Oh!" Lynn perks up after getting bored of Jeff's rants about the rivalry between Manchester United and Manchester City – Kurt's pretty sure David Beckham played for one of those teams, he's not sure of which one though. "There's a show on tonight, it's supposed to be really good. Jeff and I were planning on heading to the late show after dinner, would you like to join us?"

Blaine pushes his empty plate away from him and settles back in his chair, glancing to Kurt with a look that says _I'm really not fussed_ so Kurt accepts the offer. Lynn seems thrilled.

After lunch decide to sit around the pool. Kurt stays in the shade though; occupying a table for when Lynn decides it's too hot to sit in the sun and wants some shade too. Blaine and Jeff went straight off about an hour after lunch to go and play crazy golf up on the Sports Deck whilst it's quiet.

They stay out in the sun – well, Lynn stays out in the sun, dips in the pool occasionally and then returns to her sun lounger – for a little while longer and then they all head up to Deck 12 to watch the ship sail away at 5pm before heading back down to their staterooms to shower and get ready for dinner in a few hours. All in all, so far, Kurt's had a decent day.

* * *

Dinner is lovely, just like the previous night. Kurt has New York strip steak because he misses New York. It's nothing like the steak they get in New York, but it'll do. Jeff ends up buying them a bottle of wine, much to Kurt's chagrin. Jeff insists that he doesn't have to drink it, but it's not that; Kurt doesn't _want_ them buying Kurt and Blaine things. Blaine grumbles something about Kurt not having any money with him anyway, but Kurt chooses to be the bigger man and ignore it.

Blaine's in a really foul mood today. He's barely spoken at dinner, and if he has it's only been to Jeff discussing American Football now. Apparently Jeff's always wanted to play it. Jeff's a big guy, tall and reasonably muscled, but Kurt knows he'll probably never be able to play American Football without getting harmed in some way. Those jocks will take down anyone, and as much as the British complain that it's not real football because they have padding, the padding really doesn't help. Kurt knows.

Lynn is talking about her fourteen year old son who is obsessed with New York City, and Kurt listens to her rant on and on – it's much more interesting than Rachel's conversations, he'll give her that – asking questions about the City, the best time to go, the best places to visit. Kurt tells her everything. How most people on their first time to the City will head for the Empire State Building, but Kurt knows that the Rockefeller Center building has a much better view of Manhattan and it also has something you'll never get from the Empire State Building; "And what's that?"

"A picture of the Empire State Building." Kurt replies. Lynn continues asking him question after question, and he makes sure to tell her to not go and blow all her money on the first day in Macy's or whatever. If she wants designer brands head to Century 21 and buy what you can there – they always have some good bargains – and then on your last day go to Macys, Bloomingdales and 5th avenue then you can spend what you have left and will come away being able to say 'Yeah, I went to Macys'.

Kurt also tells her really any time of year – apart from January when it rains a lot – is a good time to come. Though he does tell her, unless she's desperate to go, not to go during Christmas and the New Years, since it's mega busy and New Year's Eve in Times Square is not all it's cracked up to be. Kurt and Blaine spent their first New Years in Times Square and it was hot, sticky, sweaty and just overall gross and way too cramped. And there's also a lot more tourists than New Yorkers because New Yorkers know the best place to get a decent view of the ball dropping is at home, watching it happen live on your flat screen TV.

August is probably the best time to go – as long as you buy mosquito repellent and stay away from the lakes in Central Park – it's hot and humid but you get to see New York in the sun and it's just glorious.

All this talk about New York is making Kurt really home sick and he's happy when Jeff perks up and tells Lynn if they don't leave now they're going to miss the late showing.

They bid the waiters goodnight and a 'see you tomorrow', and then all head across the Royal Promenade to the Alhambra Theater. They find seats reasonably easy; they get the end ones near the back so they can quickly make a break for it as soon as the show is finished. If there's one thing Kurt knows about shows, having worked and attended many a shows on Broadway, is you want to get out as quickly as you can to avoid the bottle necks that always happen. Yeah, he might be boring, but he's sensible. Sue him.

Kurt isn't at all sure what the show is about because, as soon as the lights go down, the electricity in the air is awful. The last time he was sat like this, watching a show, was months and months ago when he and Blaine went to watch Wicked for the thousandth time because they had a turn over and got new cast. After that show, he and Blaine went back to their apartment and Blaine shoved Kurt against the kitchen counters and took him right there and then. The memory sparks a feeling in Kurt that is painful and he doesn't want to think about it anymore. Half way through, he excuses himself to the bathroom. He knows, having attended many a Broadway show, that it's not at all polite to stand up during a performance, but he really just needs to get away.

It's only when Blaine comes into the bathroom looking for him does he realize it was closer to the end of the show than he originally thought. That's good because it wasn't really entertaining him all that much anyway.

Lynn and Jeff are stood outside the bathroom waiting for Kurt and Blaine to exit. Once they are all together again Jeff directs them to Boleros for drinks and they sit at their usual table. Kurt orders a cocktail tonight – he's feeling adventurous – whilst Lynn orders her regular white wine, Jeff a whiskey and Blaine a beer. Blaine decides to pay for the drinks tonight as Jeff paid for their wine at the dinner table. Jeff tries to stop him, but it's no use.

"Do you guys have any plans for tomorrow then?" Lynn asks them as she casually relaxes into Jeff's side and sips her wine.

"We actually have a tour booked for Piza; I've always wanted to see the leaning tower." Lynn claps and smiles brightly.

"Oh, we have that booked too. Maybe we could go together?" Lynn often reminds Kurt of Rachel, except she talks much less about herself. She is very excitable and Kurt has caught Jeff one too many times rolling his eyes at his wife's antics.

"That'd be nice. We should meet up for breakfast and then head straight out. The tour starts at nine, doesn't it?" Lynn nods as she sips her wine. Jeff strikes up conversation about the crazy golf he and Blaine went to today, and Kurt and Lynn settle into comfortable silence as they listen to the story of how Blaine accidently hit the ball too hard and it rolled down onto the deck below. Kurt can't help but laugh because that is something only Blaine would be able to do.

"That's like something my Mum did when you took her to golf on her birthday," Lynn adds, turning to look at Kurt and Blaine as she speaks. "My Dad is a big golfer and Mum's always banging on about how she never gets to see him all that much anymore because he's too busy playing golf with his mates." Kurt feels Blaine tense beside him; they're sharing a small loveseat in the far corner of the bar and they are probably the closest they've sat all year. "So Jeff said that he'd take her to golf, because he plays with my Dad, and she ended up hitting the golf ball that hard that it flew out into the car park and smashed some one's window." Kurt giggles but Blaine hasn't said a word. In fact, he's barely even moved an inch.

"Your Mother is one crazy person, Lynn. She never stops talking; in fact she's a lot like you." Lynn smacks Jeff on his arm and he dissolves into laughter. But Kurt isn't paying attention to their little lovers spat. Blaine is shifting uncomfortably in his seat and the more Jeff talks about Lynn's Mom the tenser Blaine is getting. Kurt lays his hand over Blaine's, but Blaine pulls back straight away. He quickly chugs down what's left of his beer and stands up. Lynn and Jeff stop giggling and look up at him, confused.

He coughs, clearing his throat. "Um, if you don't mind, it's been a long day, I'm gonna…yeah." Blaine walks off toward the elevators without another word and Lynn looks to Kurt extremely worried.

"Did we say something wrong?" She asks, her voice somewhat panicked. Lynn obviously really likes them.

Kurt sighs and slowly shakes his head, he watches Blaine get into an elevator and then as soon as he's out of sight he starts talking. "Blaine's Mom got in a car accident three months ago and she didn't make it. Blaine's been having a hard time dealing, it's actually one of the reasons we came on this cruise." Yeah, one of the reasons, they don't need to know about the other.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry-" Kurt interrupts her before she can continue.

"It's not your fault, you didn't know and you have nothing to be sorry for. Blaine's just a little sensitive. His Mom was basically his everything, he never had a good relationship with his Dad, and so his Mom was always there for him." Lynn's hand is covering her mouth and Jeff looks extremely uncomfortable. "It's been difficult these past few weeks and Blaine's not really been talking about it, none of us really know what's going on with him. His brother sent us on his vacation to see if we could get him talking, but so far nothing." Kurt says, a little deflated.

"It's only early; you still have another five days. Don't give up on him yet. I know when my Dad died I was a mess for months." Lynn nods in agreement with Jeff. "He was my hero, he was everything and if Blaine felt the same way about his Mum, he's going to need some more time to get over it than just three months." Kurt smiles at them both earnestly. He couldn't have asked to meet two nicer people on this trip.

"Thank you, guys. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go and see if he's okay." Kurt stirs his cocktail and quickly swallows what's left, ignoring the burn it leaves at the back of his throat, and the fact that he could really do with a glass of water now.

"That's fine, Kurt." Jeff speaks up. "We'll see you tomorrow for breakfast." Kurt nods and bids them goodnight before jogging to the elevators and clicking the button.

He walks slowly to the stateroom; he knows Blaine would want nothing more than some time alone so by walking slowly he gives him a little while longer. When he slides the key card in the door and, as quietly as he can, enters the room, all the lights are off, the balcony door is closed and locked, and there is a figure curled up in the bed. Blaine has already removed his clothing and left them draped over the chair - if they were on better terms and this was a different situation Kurt would have scolded him for that.

Kurt removes his own clothing quickly, rushes through his nightly skin routine and then crawls in next to Blaine on the bed. Blaine's shoulders are shaking lightly and Kurt knows he's been crying. Feeling audacious, he pulls the covers back and slides in behind Blaine, and then he tucks his legs behind Blaine's and wraps his arm around Blaine's bare stomach. His skin is hot and prickly, and Kurt wants to scold him again for not wearing enough sunblock when he's out by the pool and up playing crazy golf with Jeff.

Blaine doesn't say anything; instead, he moves a little to curl into Kurt. They fell asleep in a similar way to this last night. Kurt was getting his hopes up yesterday for a good, happy vacation for them both, that maybe solves some issues they have been having. It's not looking that way yet. He knows it's only been two days – three really – but still, being away from home, he thought that Blaine might be able to talk things over with him, whilst they are alone and away from the prying eyes and ears of Cooper and Rachel.

"I-I," Blaine croaks. "I was on the phone with her, you know." He mumbles out and Kurt thinks that his mouth is pressed against the pillow.

"With who?" Kurt asks, but he's afraid he already knows the answer.

"My, m-my M-Mom, we were talking when it h-happened. I-I h-heard a-a…" Kurt can't bear to hear anymore, he cannot believe Blaine has never told him this before. This is a huge, huge thing and Blaine has never even mentioned it before. Kurt suspects that not even Cooper knows this happened. Blaine has probably been keeping it to himself like he always does. He seems to think that if he keeps all his problems locked up in his little head, none of them will come back and bite him in the ass. The only issue with that is that they all do. They all get out somehow and most of them end up giving him scars like some people wouldn't believe. The amount of times Kurt or Cooper have had to deal with Blaine breaking down is crazy. and Kurt would have thought that by now Blaine would have learnt better. He sure as hell hasn't.

"Honey," Kurt murmurs in a soothing voice made for only occasions like this – well maybe not exactly like this, but occasions when Blaine is sad and needs to be cheered up by his husband. The problem with that now though is Kurt doesn't know if Blaine would _want _to be cheered up by his husband. Blaine whines into the pillow and his shoulders start to shake again. He's crying and Kurt just hugs him to his chest tighter. "It's okay, you can cry baby, I'm here." Blaine turns in Kurt's arms and buries his face in Kurt's chest. This is something they haven't done in a long, long time.

Kurt hugs his husband as tight as he can without suffocating him and rocks him like a baby until he is all cried out and has finally drifted off to sleep. Blaine snores ever so lightly when he's cried himself to sleep; it's one of the many things Kurt has learnt about Blaine through the years and years of sleeping with him. He also knows that when Blaine wakes up tomorrow morning he's going to be pretty cranky and his eyes are still going to be puffy so he can't put his contact lenses in.

He's still rocking Blaine in his arms, even though he's pretty much knocked out. He hums a song he isn't sure the name of under his breath as his tired mind takes over and starts thinking crazy things. This is why people shouldn't be awake a 2am.

He wonders, if anything, what else Blaine is keeping from him to do with his Mother's death. Kurt's pretty sure Blaine will be keeping much more than he lets on, not even Cooper probably knows what really happened. And up until about half an hour ago Kurt had thought Blaine hadn't known exactly what had happened.

What makes his heart hurt is that he knows exactly what Blaine will have been thinking, and is probably still thinking. Blaine will blame himself for his Mother's death. Whatever the reason was that Blaine was on the phone to his Mom for; he will blame himself for her death, because, if he wasn't on the phone with her, maybe she would have been paying more attention to the road. Or if he wasn't on the phone with her, maybe she wouldn't have even gotten in the car in the first place.

That thought hurts him, it really does, because no matter what none of this is, or ever will be, Blaine's fault. But he will continue to blame himself for the rest of his life if Kurt doesn't put a stop to it. The problem with that is, Kurt doesn't know _how _to put a stop to it. And god does he wish he did. Unfortunately for him, things in his life don't come that simple.

He falls into a light slumber thinking about it. He thinks about how he's going to fix it, he even dreams about how he could fix it. But his dreams and his thoughts are no use. He is out of ideas; to be honest he doesn't think he ever had any ideas in the first place.

His slumber is very interrupted that night.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed guys! Next week should be back on Monday's, unless Sunday night is more convenient, in which you guys should tell me and I can change :)**

**Reviews, as always, welcomed and appreciated.**


	5. Piza

**Gosh guys I'm so sorry for not updating on time. That's totally not like me! I'm usually very well organized. **

**Lately it's been super hectic. I've got so many exams & whatnot, it's tough to actually keep a life outside of revision, & not to mention Tumblr takes up way too much of my time.**

**Well, as always thanks to my lovely beta, who's birthday it is on Friday! :D**

**Enjoy! P.S I hope everyone (that celebrates) had a wonderful Christmas & New Year.**

* * *

-**Part Five**—

**Day three. Livorno, Florence/Piza, Italy. August 23****rd**** 2020**

The warm sunlight on his face causes Kurt to stir awake. He squints his eyes open and looks briefly around the room as things come into focus. Blaine isn't next to him anymore. There's a breeze hitting his face and he suspects it's not from the A/C.

Throwing the thin white sheet off himself, he climbs out of bed and pads along the carpeted floor to the slightly open balcony door. Blaine is stood outside minus his shirt and Kurt's just glad it's pretty warm already, looking out as the sun rises and watching as the ship ever so slowly pulls into dock. Kurt doesn't say anything: he assumes Blaine has heard him because the balcony door is pretty heavy and it's loud whenever it opens or closes. So Blaine definitely heard him step outside.

He walks ever so slowly over to where Blaine is stood and leans on the railing next to him, clasping his hands together and looking out into the harbor – because that's all they can see from this side of the ship – it must be the other side where the majority of the land is.

They stand together in silence as they watch the Pilot boat and another Tug boat linger nearby the ship in order to make sure she's guided into the docks correctly. Kurt read up about this yesterday when the evening paper arrived in their room - apparently the Italian coast has extremely shallow waters and it's difficult to get a ship of this size in easily, which is why it takes so much time and needs a lot of expertise.

The breeze is picking up and Kurt also read that it's supposed to be hot but with a cold breeze today, and he guesses that must be true as Blaine's bare skin is getting goosebumps on it. Kurt edges closer and wraps his arm around Blaine's waist. Kurt's shocked when Blaine actually allows Kurt to snuggle into him for a few seconds, but unfortunately a few seconds is all he gets. Blaine sneakily slides out from under Kurt's arm and steps to the side so he isn't stood right next to him. Kurt sighs in annoyance.

"Is there something wrong Blaine?" Kurt questions. He knows he probably shouldn't because, well they have to meet Lynn and Jeff soon and he knows that this is going to turn into an argument. Also they are on-board a ship and have neighbors with thin walls; they don't really want to alert attention to them and then get kicked off for making too much noise. Honestly, if Kurt wanted to get kicked off for making noise this is certainly _not _the kind of noise he would be making.

"Nothing," Blaine mumbles in reply and Kurt rolls his eyes.

"I'm sick of this Blaine, you're hot then you're cold," And yes, Kurt knows full well that that is a Katy Perry song and in any other circumstance he imagines Blaine would be sniggering, but he's not and this isn't 'any other' circumstance. "I'm sick of walking on egg shells around you. I feel like you're a time bomb, at any moment you could just explode and I really don't want to have to deal with that."

Blaine laughs, he actually laughs and for the first time – _ever_, Kurt thinks – he really wants to slap Blaine. "You don't have to deal with it, do you Kurt?" Blaine isn't looking at him; he's avoiding eye contact just like he does when he's uncomfortable and annoyed, and apparently extremely cocky.

"You are acting like a teenager Blaine! This is ridiculous!" His voice rises involuntarily.

"Excuse me?" Blaine turns to face him, his anger flowing out of every pore and Kurt takes a step backwards. He isn't sure why – it just feels like the right thing to do. Apparently, it's not. Blaine looks hurt, really hurt and he shakes his head, looking like he's about to cry. He stomps his way past Kurt, brushing past his shoulder and knocking him slightly into the railing. Kurt follows him into the room, not allowing Blaine to leave it this time.

"Blaine, don't walk away from me." Kurt raises his voice louder now he's inside and has the balcony door closed.

"Why not, Kurt? Aren't I acting like a teenager already? Might as well slam the door on my way out, huh?" Blaine tugs off his pyjama pants and pulls on a pair of shorts that have been left on the couch from yesterday. He stomps loudly over to the closet and steps inside it pulling out the nearest shirt, not caring what it is, and tugging it over his head.

"Blaine, will you please just stop." Kurt walks forward and reaches out, grabbing Blaine's arm as he's pulling it through the sleeve of his shirt.

"What, Kurt?" Blaine snaps and pulls his arm through his shirt, yanking it free of Kurt's grasp.

"Why are you acting like this Blaine? One minute, I think I'm getting somewhere with you, and then the next you're ignoring me and storming off. What is wrong with you?" Blaine runs his fingers through his hair and sighs in exasperation. "It's like I don't even know who you are anymore," Kurt continues. "And it's awful because I always knew you; I thought I knew everything there was to know about you." Kurt's welling up, tears forming in his eyes and blurring his vision. All he can make out is Blaine looking at him expectantly. "Who are you Blaine? What happened to make you like this? It's as if you hate me. I'm Kurt," He feels like he needs to stress that to Blaine and so he takes hold of his clammy hand and holds it to his heart. "I'm your husband, Blaine. I love you, so much. Come on, you know me and I know you. This is not like us, we don't fight."

"But we _have_ been fighting, Kurt. We've been fighting for a long, long time." Blaine interrupts, his voice ever so soft and Kurt thinks he's getting somewhere again but he knows that's not going to last very long. "And if you look at it, it's not getting any better. It hasn't been getting any better; we've just had so much other crap on our minds that we're _forgetting _to fight."

"We shouldn't even be thinking about fighting anyway!" Kurt throws his hands in the air. "What kind of relationship is that Blaine? Where we _think _about fighting all the time? We used to love each other so much; in our first year of marriage we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. Hell, our first month dating we couldn't keep our hands off each other. What changed Blaine? Was loving me that hard?" Blaine shakes his head slowly and abruptly looks at the floor.

"I just," he pauses for a few seconds to gather his thoughts and collect the right words. "I-I can't do this Kurt." Kurt's confused. What can't Blaine do? Can't love him anymore? Can't be on this ship anymore? Does he want to go home?

"What Blaine? What can't you do anymore?"

"This!" He gestures to each of them. Touching his fingertips to his own chest, then to Kurt's and back to his own again. "I can't do _this _anymore." And _oh, _Kurt knows what he means. He can't do _them_ anymore. Blaine doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore.

"Save this Blaine, you have to save this relationship! Work for it." Because Kurt is working for it and he's working hard. He admits that in the past maybe he hasn't put as much effort into it, but now he understands that they can't run smoothly like they used to. Everything needs a little bit of work.

"Sometimes, Kurt, trying to save something only fucks it up even more."

A knock on their stateroom door causes them to turn to look at the door and finally stay silent. Maybe it's their stateroom attendant telling them to be quiet because people are still sleeping. Kurt hasn't realized they've actually been shouting all that much.

He walks over to the door and looks through the peep hole first, then he slowly unlocks and opens the door wide enough for Lynn and Jeff – who are looking a little awkward – to step inside.

"Morning!" Lynn beams though it seems a little forced.

"Good morning guys, I thought we were meeting at the restaurant?" Kurt says and surely they aren't that late.

"We were supposed to be. But Jeff decided that we should just grab some water and fruit and then head straight out, get on the earliest bus and then come back earlier." Lynn settles on the couch and looks around in awe at their room. "Wow, we have a balcony room, but this is nice, you guys must be loaded to be able to afford this. We only just got the balcony room because we've been saving up since we got married. You know, this is actually like our honeymoon since we didn't actually end up having one because I was pregnant again and we didn't have a lot of mon-" Jeff lays his hand on his wife's shoulder and shuts her up. For that Kurt is thankful; she was starting to remind him a lot of Rachel. But Rachel talks whenever she wants, and apparently Lynn only talks a lot when she feels uncomfortable or awkward in a situation. Kurt knows this because he feels awkward, so if he does she must do too.

"Hey, Blaine," Jeff says as Blaine exits the bathroom where he hid out when Lynn and Jeff first walked in. Kurt thought that was a little rude but he wasn't going to start another argument, not in front of their friends. "Fancy coming down to grab some snacks and buy some water for the trip?" Blaine nods to Jeff and grabs his key card, shoving his feet in his loafers and then saying a quick 'see you soon' to Lynn before following Jeff out of the room.

As soon as Blaine and Jeff leave the room, the tension automatically diffuses and Kurt doesn't think it's to do with Jeff leaving the room at all.

"Would you like to tell me what the hell that was about?" Kurt turns to Lynn who is perched on the couch, her expression hostile.

"What _what_ was about? Blaine and Jeff went to get snacks and water, that's all." Kurt deadpans.

"No, not that. What the hell was going on before we came in here? We heard you arguing Kurt, don't pretend we didn't." Kurt sighs, his expression extremely crestfallen.

"So you heard us arguing, all couples argue right, it's nothing big?" He collapses onto the couch beside Lynn and then realizes that he's still in his pyjamas. He stands up just as quickly as he sat down and scurries around the room tidying up the mess from the previous night. He then heads straight to his closet and picks out an outfit that will be perfect for the weather and just comfortable enough for all the walking they will be subjected to today.

"Yes, all couples argue." Lynn agrees. "But that was not a regular couple bickering about." She waves her hands in front of her face, gesticulating wildly. "Who forgot to put the washing on, or just something simple like that." Kurt bites his lip and slips inside the bathroom, not bothering to close the door until he needs to actually use the toilet.

When he steps back into the room, fully dressed, teeth brushed and hair immaculate, Lynn is still sat on the couch, though now she has the ships daily paper in her hands and is reading an article in it.

"So come on, tell me what that was about?" Lynn is for sure overstepping here but honestly, Kurt couldn't care less. He so desperately wants to talk to someone about this and maybe now, whilst they've got a little alone time, he can talk. He can finally express everything he's been feeling to someone who is willing to listen. Usually this person would be Blaine, but Kurt can't remember the last time he confided in Blaine.

He settles next to Lynn on the couch once again and sighs loudly. They could be here for a while. "Blaine and I-" He pauses to hold back the stinging sensation in his eyes that tells him tears are not far away. "We're not in a good place right now." Lynn scoots closer to him and sits upright, wrapping her arm around Kurt's shoulders and letting him crumble into her embrace. "His brother Cooper watched us argue a few weeks ago and decided it would be a good idea to send us on a couples retreat to, you know, try and see if we could work out our problems." He inhales deeply and sniffles, wiping his slightly running nose on the back on his hand. Usually he'd be running to the bathroom to get a tissue right now, but he isn't even fussed. "It's hard, Lynn, it's so hard. I-I've tried so hard to make this work again, I love him so much I don't even think he knows _how_ much anymore, but every time I think I'm getting somewhere with him," Kurt snaps his fingers. "Just like that he's closed himself off again. I think I got a little inkling as to how he's feeling last night. He told me he was on the phone to his Mom when she died," Kurt bursts into tears. "I didn't know, god dammit, I had no idea what he was going through and I feel so bad because I _should _know these things, I'm his husband, I-" He can't even convey words anymore. Instead, he just dissolves into floods of tears and finally lets someone just take care of him.

Lynn rocks him gently – like he was doing to Blaine last night – and she doesn't say anything. She waits patiently until Kurt is ready to talk again because she knows he has so much more to say than just that.

"I don't know what to do anymore. He blames himself, I know he does, but we weren't on good terms before his Mom's death, so why should that make things so different? He won't talk to me about it. Hell, I don't even think he's spoken to anyone about it. I'm walking on egg shells around him because I am absolutely terrified that he's going to break. And what do I do then?" Lynn shushes him and pulls him into a bear hug, it's a little awkward because of the angle but it's just what he needs.

"How long has this been going on Kurt?" She whispers into his hair.

"God," He pulls away and stares blankly at the wall, trying to think when the first argument started. "Probably around the time our workloads doubled. Blaine got a promotion. I got enough money to start my own line." Lynn nods in understanding.

"Jeff and I had a lot of trouble when our first child was born. We were so young and all Jeff wanted to do was go to University, get a good job, get some money, but stupid me got pregnant and we argued so much, I thought we were going to break up. But look at us now, strong as ever." That really doesn't help Kurt much, but he doesn't say that to her: she's only trying to help and Kurt's not about to knock down the only person that has actually helped him. "This might sound, um, a little personal, well actually it is personal, and you totally don't have to answer." Why does Kurt know exactly where this is going? "But when was the last time you and Blaine had sex, with feelings?"

Kurt shrugs his shoulders. Because honestly that's not something he's really thought about. Rachel asked him a very similar question, if not the same. And he answered her straight away. But why now can't he answer Lynn?

It hits him hard - it really does hit him this time. He and Blaine haven't even kissed in so long and all those times they had sex after arguments never meant anything to either of them. It was just a way to let out pent up frustration.

"That's what I thought." She murmurs and Kurt doesn't even realize he's crying again, hot tears slowly escaping and running down his flushed cheeks. "Oh, honey." She hugs him to her chest once again, and wow, this is the closest Kurt thinks he's ever gotten to a decent pair of boobs. Cooper's gonna be jealous. He giggles to himself and when Lynn pulls him back and asks what's funny, he just shakes his head.

"If I want this, I have to fight for it, even though Blaine's not."

"Kurt, if there's nothing to fight for, you can't fight." And wow does that hurt. Maybe she's right, maybe there is nothing to fight for, and maybe that's why Blaine isn't fighting, because there's nothing left.

_No, no way. _He doesn't believe that one bit. He knows there's something there. He and Blaine have been in love since that first day at Dalton Academy. This is just a – large – speed bump, but it's nothing to worry about. Kurt's going to fight. And he's going to fight until the death.

"Right honey, you get cleaned up and we'll go and meet those two, they'll be pissed if we miss the early bus." Kurt smiles softly at his friend and then heads back into the bathroom to clean his face and try and make his eyes look less like he's been sobbing.

* * *

It's pretty cloudy out, but god is it hot. Kurt's sweating through his t-shirt and he's only been out for about half an hour. They got off the bus about around thirty minutes ago and were given free reign around Piza, as long as they get back to the bus on time for departure at 2pm. By the looks of it, they'll be there much earlier than 2pm.

It's honest to god stifling hot, but annoyingly so that Kurt doesn't know if he has enough sunblock on, because it's cloudy but the heat is raging.

He and Blaine haven't spoken since their argument this morning, and to make things less tense between them Lynn begged Kurt to sit next to her on coach on the way into town, telling Jeff they were discussing girl things - Kurt could have kissed her there and then. Hm, maybe jealously is the way to go to get Blaine to actually acknowledge him in a loving manner again. _No, _Kurt's done that once and it turned out really badly, he's not going there again. Not when they are already on thin ice especially.

The reach the Leaning Tower for 11am and just sit on a nearby wall and soak up whatever sunlight is coming through the clouds. Kurt makes sure to keep his hat on his head and god does he wish Blaine would wear his too, he's going to get sun stroke and Kurt knows how whiney he gets when he doesn't feel well.

There's a small café nearby. Actually there are a lot of small cafes nearby, and Lynn sends Jeff and Blaine off to one to grab them some lunch because she's starving and the fruit she had an hour ago isn't doing anything for her.

Kurt's glad to be left alone – even though Lynn is next to him – for a little while. Lynn doesn't speak; she stays silent, watching the leaves of the trees nearby flow with the wind and watching some approaching children squeal with delight as they hop around and then pose for photos with the Leaning Tower. He smiles at them when the boy pushes the younger girl and then the girl pushes back and they start fighting. It's cute and hilarious, and the parents look utterly embarrassed, but well, that's kids for you. Well actually, Kurt doesn't know what it's like to have kids and by the looks of it, he's probably never going to know. Not with Blaine anyway. And that really hurts because all he's ever wanted is to have kids with Blaine.

"Don't do that to yourself." Lynn speaks up and Kurt turns his head to her.

"Do what?"

"That," she points to the squealing kids who are now running around each other in circles as their parents try to calm them down. "Look at kids with that sad expression on your face that says 'I'm never going to have that'. Yes you are going to have that and you are going to have that with Blaine. Mark my words." Kurt sighs and returns to watching the children with a bleak expression. He wants that. He really does. Whether he's going to get it or not is a different matter.

The guys return a few moments later with sandwiches and sodas. Blaine hands Kurt a diet coke – the only one of the pack – and says; "I know you'd hate it if I bought you full fat." Kurt calls that progress.

Lynn smiles at him from the other side of the wall, as Blaine settles beside him and opens the bottle of diet coke for him. It's sweet and wonderful, and Kurt misses the domesticity of their relationship way too much. He accepts the diet coke and then the sandwich that Blaine pulls out of his shoulder bag a few seconds after. It's an egg mayonnaise one, but it's not nice at all, there must be something weird they put in recipes over here. Blaine offers him half of his sandwich and when Kurt declines saying Blaine needs to eat too, Blaine picks up half of his sandwich and puts it into Kurt's hands. And wow, they're getting somewhere.

They actually engage in light conversation whilst they all finish their sandwiches and sodas. As soon as Jeff finishes his food and clears up the trash he left, he quickly yells for Lynn to get the camera out and take a picture of him next to the Leaning Tower.

Kurt giggles as Jeff makes a scrunched up face and poses next to the Tower, pretending to try and hold it up. Lynn instructs him that he needs to come closer to the camera and then to move a little to the left. He does so and then makes the move again. Blaine's shoulders shake with silent laughter beside Kurt and Kurt slowly turns his head, biting his lip, toward Blaine to see his husband smiling brightly at Jeff.

"Kurt, Blaine, will one of you take a picture of us?" Kurt stands first; he's great at taking pictures.

Lynn hands him the camera and then goes to the other side and pretends to be pulling the Tower with a rope the other way as Jeff pretends to push it toward her from the other side.

"We're gonna get Jason to Photoshop that for us and put a rope in." Kurt asks for them, once it's done, to send a copy of it to him, because that'll be hilarious.

He takes a few more pictures of them posing together and apart. They smile together in one and then Jeff dips Lynn and kisses her lightly. Kurt grins like a child and snaps a photo quickly. He can't let that one go to waste. Even with the way he feels right now, that's a really cute picture of them.

"Guys, come on you two get a picture!" Lynn yells and then runs over to them, grabbing the camera off of Kurt and shoving them in the direction of Jeff, who is now walking toward them anyway. "Right guys, smile!" She grins and snaps a picture of them stood reasonably close. Apparently she isn't satisfied with that though. "No way, not acceptable." She hands the camera to Jeff and then jogs toward Kurt and Blaine. She wraps Kurt's arm around Blaine's waist and Blaine's arm around Kurt's waist, and then runs back to Jeff and yanks the camera away from him.

Blaine actually curls in a little after about the third photo of them posing like this. Lynn looks over her camera and winks at Kurt just as Blaine lays his hand on Kurt's stomach and digs his fingertips in lightly, as if to say 'I'm here'. Kurt curls further into his embrace and presses his cheek to Blaine's face; it reaches just above his eye.

Kurt decides to take a chance and while Lynn is putting the camera away and blabbering about something incoherent, from over here, to Jeff Kurt tightens his hold on Blaine and then looks down to meet his honey colored eyes. "Can I ask you to do something for me?" Blaine shrugs his shoulders.

"Hug me?" Kurt sounds desperate, he knows he does, but honestly he doesn't really give a shit. He wants to feel close to his husband again and this feels so unbelievably fake that he feels nothing but sadness.

Blaine actually agrees. He pulls Kurt in closer and wraps both arms around him. Kurt breathes in the scent of Blaine's strawberry shampoo – his favorite – and squeezes his husband so tight. He just knows that if he opened his eyes and looked over to Lynn she'd be grinning like a fool right now.

Blaine pulls away first, obviously, and his eyes look a little tired – okay, they look a lot tired – and he steps away from Kurt removing all bodily contact with him.

"I won't ask you for anything more. That was nice, thank you."

"Good." Blaine says and stalks off toward Lynn and Jeff, who in Kurt's opinion are looking around at the many, many tourists way too much.

Kurt wants to cry.

* * *

After a very strange action packed day, dinner seems like a relief for Kurt. When they arrived back to the ship just after 3pm, they parted ways before coming together again no less than an hour later and just sat out on deck four until the ship left dock at 5:30pm.

Now they're sat at the dinner table, eating their main courses and making polite conversation every few minutes so it doesn't get too awkward between them. Though Kurt thinks it's much too late for that.

Lynn is now looking for every sign she possibly can between Kurt and Blaine that suggests any form of love. So when Kurt accidently drops his knife on the floor and Blaine bends to pick it up for him, Lynn winks at Kurt. And earlier when Kurt came out of their bedroom, Blaine held the door open for him like a gentleman – though Kurt knows that's because Blaine is dapper as fuck and it's the way the 'Anderson' men were brought up – Lynn winks at him and nudges his shoulder.

Honestly, Kurt's getting a little annoyed with it but his expression remains cool, calm and collected regardless.

"Are you guys going to Rome tomorrow?"

"Of course," Kurt replies whilst cutting up a piece of his chicken.

"We should go together again! I've always wanted to see Rome; this is going to be amazing!" Lynn is very presumptuous, how does she know Kurt and Blaine don't want to visit Rome together, it is a very romantic City after all. Oh that's right Blaine _hates _Kurt, so why would he want to go anywhere with him anyway.

Kurt nods politely, feeling not at all up to going anywhere tomorrow. Or right now.

They finish their meal in relative silence, passing on dessert, but Kurt does that all the time so it really doesn't matter to him. Jeff rubs his growing stomach once he's finished with his chocolate fudge cake and then clears his throat to speak.

"Blaine and I were gonna head to the Casino, do you guys wanna join us?" Jeff asks, glancing from Kurt to his wife and back again. Kurt shakes his head, politely declining, but hoping at the same time that Lynn says yes because he just wants to be alone. Maybe sit out on the balcony, enjoy the fresh sea air for a few hours until Blaine comes back.

Unfortunately Lynn declines as well.

"That's too bad. We'll just have to win our other halves some cash then, won't we?" Jeff winks at Lynn and then stands up, tucking his shirt in and straightening his tie. He leans over the chair and places a soft kiss on Lynn's lips. Lynn kisses back for a few seconds and Kurt has to look away because he feels like he's interrupting.

Blaine stands then and pulls his jacket on. He doesn't kiss Kurt goodbye. He doesn't even look back at him as he and Jeff make their way out, bidding the waiter's goodnight. Kurt holds back the tears that are, once again, threatening to fall.

It hurts him; it hurts him more than anything else in his whole life. And he's been hurt a lot in his short twenty four years. But this is by far the worst he has ever felt. He just can't understand why Blaine doesn't seem to love him anymore. Kurt doesn't remember if he ever did anything wrong, all he remembers is argument after argument and fight after fight. More than anything, though; it frustrates him. It frustrates him to the point of wanting to do some serious damage to something, or someone.

And that is not like Kurt Hummel. Kurt Hummel is a gentleman, who is lovely all of the time, a pleasure to be around, and has a brilliant way with words.

This Kurt Hummel, though, really needs to catch a break. He thinks in the few months that he and Blaine have been arguing he's gained more wrinkles than he thought he would even have by the age of fifty. And that is not good, not good at all. Wrinkles do not look good on him. Baring in mind that wrinkles don't look good on anyone, he cannot pull off looking old at the ripe age of twenty four.

"You don't mind if I head to bed do you, sweetie?" He asks Lynn who has been sat in silence for the past few minutes.

She looks up, registering what he says and then frowns.

"It's just that I'm not feeling too good." She grimaces and then nods to him.

"Of course it's okay, honey. See you tomorrow morning, bright and early. You get some rest; it's been a long day." Kurt can't agree with that more. It _has _been a long day, possibly the longest on board so far.

Kurt quickly stands up, pecks Lynn on the cheek and then rushes out of the restaurant and hops into the elevator as soon as he can. He's alone on his ride up to his stateroom and it leaves him with a lot of time to reflect on the happenings of today.

As he walks along the corridor, he thinks about how confusing today has been for him. He's got mixed messages way more times than he probably should and every single bone in his body is confused to the max.

Really, if he thinks about it, Blaine isn't fair for sending him all these mixed messages. He slides his key card into the door and then throws it on the dresser. The room is dimly lit after having been turned down, but instead of switching lights on; he walks out onto the balcony, closes the door, but not all the way, behind him and then sits on the chair, looking out to the ocean.

The cool breeze is nice; it relaxes him and aids his deep breathing. Deep breathing is something he does when he's worked up and panicked. It helps him calm down a lot quicker than anything else would. He learnt about it in High School when he was getting bullied, and it helped calm him down when he was stressed, angry and upset. It's helping now because he's all of those things.

He hears the stateroom door open and peers around his chair to look through the balcony door to see who it is. Logically it can only be one person, but why Blaine is up here already when he is supposed to be in the casino with Jeff, and probably Lynn now, confuses him.

And like he needs any more confusion.

Blaine clears his throat as he steps out onto the balcony. "Uh, Lynn told me you came up to bed because you weren't feeling too good. Is everything okay?"

"Why would you care?" Kurt snaps. He really, probably, shouldn't, but he just can't help himself. Blaine shouldn't care, but apparently he does. Progress.

"Don't be like that Kurt; of course I care about you." Blaine says, his voice staying at a monotone though. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm okay." He tells Blaine, but then decides on expanding. "I just told Lynn that because I wanted to be alone. It's been a tough day. I guess I'm just super tired and stressed." Blaine nods, biting his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Well, now that I know you're okay, I guess I'm just gonna head back down. I mean, if that's okay with you?"

"You don't need to ask me permission for you to hang out with Jeff, Blaine." Blaine purses his lips, nods and then stands from the chair. Just as he's walking through the balcony door though, Kurt says something. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asks.

"For checking on me."

"I'll always check on you." And with that he leaves.

Kurt waits until he hears the stateroom door close before letting out a loud groan that sounds an awful lot like a dying whale noise.

* * *

**And tada! Should be an update next monday, but if not it'll be Tuesday! **

**Reviews welcome, and thanks for all the lovely things that has already been said about this fic, I really loved writing this!**


	6. Rome

**Helllooo! Finally back to my normal update day! I'm shocked I actually remembered, I have way too much on my mind right now!**

**Anyway, not much to say about this, just...look forward to next weeks chapter ;)**

**There is some Italian in this, now I do speak it, but I'm not fluent so if there are any mistakes I'm sorry, but hopefully none of you are Italian and will notice my mediocre language skills.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

-**Part Six**-

**Day Four. Civitavecchia, Rome, Italy. August 24****th**** 2020**

Kurt rouses to the sounds of Blaine stomping around the stateroom. He blinks his eyes open and searches around the room for the culprit. Now, he's sure he heard noises, but Blaine is nowhere to be seen. And that's really strange because from the angle of the bed Kurt can pretty much see the whole room and Blaine still isn't in sight.

He throws the sheet off himself and steps out of bed. There's a loud _ouch, _a bang, a crash and then a groan. Kurt looks to the floor to find Blaine's legs sticking out from under the bed, Kurt's foot on his calf. And, okay, what the hell is Blaine doing under the bed?

Kurt removes his foot and sets it on the carpet rather than on Blaine. "What are you doing?" Kurt questions, his voice croaky from sleep.

Blaine's reply is muffled by the carpet. "What?" Blaine pushes himself out from under the bed and into the view of Kurt. He sits up and scratches at his curls, rubbing a sore spot on his head from where he obviously banged it against the bed.

"I dropped..." He trails off and bends down again when the light catches something, but it turns out it's just a piece of fluff and Blaine huffs loudly before falling backwards and groaning.

"What?" Kurt asks. "What did you drop?" Blaine mumbles something that's incoherent to Kurt, so Kurt asks him what he's saying once again.

"I dropped my wedding band," He admits. "And now I can't find it." Kurt brings his legs up onto the bed and crosses them, leaning his elbow on one knee and then resting his head in his hand.

"It's okay, we'll find it." Kurt sighs and then decides on getting onto the floor and helping Blaine look. Blaine shuffles forward on his butt just as Kurt comes to sit beside him and starts to look around on the nearby floor, feeling for the thin silver band that once rested perfectly on Blaine's left hand ring finger. He strokes his own wedding band and remembers the inscription on the inside '_Always and Forever_'. It fills his heart with this strange, almost painful feeling. It's like a tight clenching in his chest that no matter how hard he breathes, or how fast he breathes, the can't get it to stop hurting him.

He actually wonders, for a brief second, if this is what it feels like when your heart breaks. He's convinced that it is until Blaine shouts the words, "Found it!" and appears from under the bed with the small silver band held between his two fingers.

The pain in Kurt's chest disappears just like that and he exhales loudly in relief. Not just for the fact that Blaine's found his wedding ring, but for the fact that the pain in his chest is gone. He doesn't think that's the last he'll be feeling that pain though.

Blaine slides the ring on his ring finger and smiles at Kurt. He pats his knee and then uses it to bring himself to a standing position. He runs his fingers along the back of Kurt's collar as he passes him on his way to the bathroom.

Once he's gone, Kurt groans and face palms the mattress.

And they're back to square one.

* * *

Their day trip to Rome is actually going reasonably well so far. They're a few hours into it; they've just had lunch together and their next mission is to visit the Trevi Fountain and then onwards to wherever Lynn and Jeff have in mind.

The Trevi fountain isn't a long walk from where they had lunch, and so they walk slowly because they have plenty of time to kill.

When they reach it, it takes them a while to get up close anyway. There are so many people around it, just looking at its beauty and honestly, Kurt can't really blame them. Most of them are tourists, but if he lived here he would visit this every day just to stare at it because it really is _that_ magnificent.

Blaine manages to push his way through first; he might act like a gentleman, but when it comes to something he wants to see, it's like he turns into Kurt during a McQueen scarf sale. Lynn and Jeff aren't far behind and as soon as the couple next to Kurt vacates their spot near the front of the Fountain, they practically dive into their space.

"Oh my god, it is so beautiful," Lynn murmurs as she looks up and admires the massive structure.

Kurt begins comparing its beauty, in his mind obviously, to Blaine's. He knows it is so unrealistic, but he doesn't care. Even through wear of the weather it still manages to remain a stunning color of white and it's so pure. Kurt thinks that the Fountain is actually _looking _at him; it's looking at him the way Blaine used to look at him. With so much love.

Okay, so Kurt knows that's even worse than comparing the Fountain to Blaine, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Lynn's been talking while Kurt's been staring, but he's not really interested in what she's saying, even though it's most likely directed at him. His attention is now focused on Blaine, who is holding a little girl up to see over the small crowd in front of him so she is able to see the Fountain. Her Mother, Kurt looks around for, is in a wheelchair and is tearing up at the sight of her daughter yelling down to her in a different language – it sounds like Italian, which would make sense, them being in Italy and all.

Kurt's eyes water - he wants to blame it on the bright sunlight -as Blaine hoists the little girl further up his hip and points to some of the structures as she chants to her Mother what she can see. Her Mother taps Blaine on the back and then hands him a small coin. He gives it to the little girl who proceeds to throw it in the direction Blaine told her to. "Esprimi un desiderio," He tells her and Kurt is not quite sure what it means.

The little girl closes her eyes tight and then smiles widely at Blaine. She points to the ground and Blaine puts her back down on the concrete beside her wheelchair bound Mother.

"Grazie." The Mother says, and Kurt knows what that means. The Mother pulls her daughter up into her lap and then turns in her wheelchair, wheeling it out of the crowd as they part for her. Kurt watches Blaine watching them go.

He nudges Blaine's shoulder and says; "That was really sweet of you."

"I love kids," Blaine says. "And the Mom was in a wheelchair, the little girl was never gonna get to see anything." He shrugs his shoulders like what he just did was nothing. Kurt is so, so desperate to kiss Blaine right here and right now. The setting is perfect, the atmosphere with the noise of tourists and people nearby that are singing in the streets is perfect, and he just wishes he could pull him into a steaming kiss.

But he can't. And for once it's not because of the homophobia.

"Do you have any change?" He asks Blaine, because Kurt doesn't carry change around with him, like ever.

Blaine taps his shorts pockets and comes up with a quarter. "That's all I've got. What do you want it for; you can't buy anything here with American money?"

Kurt accepts the quarter, turns his back to the Fountain, closes his eyes tightly and then throws his hands in the air, the coin flying backwards and landing in the Fountain with a light splash.

"Oh," Blaine says, trying to hold back a smile that's creepy up on his face. "What did you wish for?"

Kurt grins, and then he turns to look for Lynn and Jeff.

After locating Lynn and Jeff, he says to Blaine. "If I told you it wouldn't come true now, would it?"

And Kurt really, _really_ wants it to come true.

* * *

Of course, shopping is the highlight of Kurt's day. Yeah, the City is stunning with all its beautiful and modern architecture, and also its old ruins. Everything about the place amazes Kurt and he mentally decides that his Dad and Carole would like this place. When returns back to the states, he'll recommend them coming here one year, instead of their annual trips to Honolulu.

Because he was stupid enough to forget his credit card, on the first day on-board he divided the cash they were given equally into maximum amounts they can spend each day before needing a credit card. He's already well surpassed that and is not using Blaine's credit card.

Lynn is using Jeff's because well, she wants to. They are in the changing rooms of some little boutique she wanted to venture into and Kurt's sat on the couch outside the stall Lynn is in, waiting for her to emerge and then give her all the advice he can muster, with being especially nice at the same time. When it comes to Fashion – because of his job – Kurt is very critical with the style of clothing, well _everything_ about clothing really, but he's terrible when it comes to fitting the model perfectly. And Lynn isn't the size of a model, she's tiny (smaller than Blaine) and she's pretty curvy. So he needs to make sure he's as nice as he possibly can be whilst giving her the advice she needs.

But when she pulls the curtain back, Kurt really doesn't need to give her any criticism on choice of outfit. The wintery blue color she chose of the dress is amazing and it works perfectly with her complexion. It's actually a darker color, probably more of a midnight blue, but it's not _that _dark. He told her to get something that shows off her shoulders, because she is tiny wearing a boob tube dress works perfectly for her. It's layered and is just amazing, her brunette hair has been let out of its hold and is draping over her shoulders – he never realized how long her hair was before – and just everything about that dress is stunning. The small flower in the middle of the chest separates the top from the bottom; it's not too short for a woman her age, she's not that old, and he just knows that when she wears it she'll turn heads everywhere.

"I don't care how much it is, you are buying that!" He tells her and apparently that's all she needs, the next thing he knows they are leaving the shop with yet another bag and another eye roll from Jeff, who is waiting with Blaine outside.

Blaine can't really eye roll because he wandered into Hugo Boss with Jeff and came out with a new suit, some shirts, three bow ties, one tie and socks – even though he doesn't wear them all that much – Jeff came out with a few new shirts too, but then complained that it was way too expensive and he'll be regretting this when he gets home and they are living off beans and toast for weeks.

When Kurt wanders into the Armani store, Blaine and Jeff make their way over to the Piazza di Spagna – The Spanish Steps – to sit down because the sun is beaming down and it's way too hot to be stood around waiting for Kurt all day. And Blaine knows full well how long Kurt could be shopping for, especially with a credit card that he doesn't have to pay for.

They end up going to an ice cream parlor a few blocks down – oh sorry, a few _streets _down – Blaine starts speaking Italian to the owner behind the counter, and he somehow ends up getting them free ice creams – or gelato, as that's the Italian way to say it.

They sit down in a small, cramped booth, and dig into their gelato. Kurt has got a mint chocolate chip and Blaine has a mixture of some cheesecake and vanilla flavor, usually Kurt tries Blaine's new adventurous ice cream flavors, but that just looks and sounds awful. Lynn gets chocolate and Jeff just sticks with the regular vanilla.

They settle into light conversation as they always do, Kurt finds it incredibly easy to talk to Lynn and Jeff, probably because Lynn can talk for hours upon end about whatever comes to mind.

Jeff and Blaine start rambling on about a movie that was on the TV last night that apparently Blaine watched all of, though Kurt doesn't remember this. It was probably when he was sat out on the balcony for about two hours, just watching the ocean and the world pass him by. He could honestly live on-board a ship just watching the sea, looking for dolphins, because they are so cute and he hasn't seen any yet.

Lynn begins a conversation with Kurt about her son and Kurt laughs along with her as she tells him some of the crazy things he did as a kid and some of them that he still does now. She voices her worries about leaving him alone with Jeff's parents for the week, but Kurt assures her – even though he doesn't know Lynn's in-laws – that everything will be fine and the kids are probably having a blast with their grandparents. Isn't that what grandparents are for? Spoiling their kids? Because that's all Kurt remembers about his Dad's Mom – she always used to spoil him silly, especially after his Mom died.

Though, he would never _ever _leave his kids with Blaine's Father; of course, he would've left them with Blaine's Mom, as she was so lovely and kind, but he tries not to think too much about that, because well, it hurts him too.

Kurt watches as Jeff leans into Lynn when he finishes his ice cream and his arm rests on the back of the chair, stroking Lynn's shoulder with his fingers. It's intimate but very public at the same time. For a spilt second, he honestly feels jealous, because Blaine hasn't done something like that in a long time. And they used to do sickly sweet coupley stuff all the time. Finn used to groan every time Blaine's hand would venture under the table to hold Kurt's thigh…

And, wait what? That is exactly what's happening now.

Kurt actually stops in the middle of speaking to Lynn because he feels that familiar warmth on his thigh.

Blaine is holding his left thigh, just ever so lightly, like he always used to, his thumb rubbing back and forth across the linen of his shorts. Kurt wants to just buckle, right here, right now and collapse into a crying heap onto Blaine. He does, however, manage to hold that back, because, well… that would look pretty weird in the middle of a gelato store in Rome. He could probably get away with that back home in New York: people do weird shit in New York all the time, but here in Europe; he would probably be exiled and sent to a mental institute.

Kurt manages to swiftly pick up the conversation again, as if Lynn didn't notice he stopped talking for almost a full minute. Blaine is still holding his thigh and talking to Jeff at the same time. Something about it tells Kurt that he isn't doing it on purpose; honestly it's more of a reflex now. Back in New York they used to have to act like everything was fine all the time around their friends so they did stuff like this whenever they were out, just to put on the front that they were perfectly fine and not arguing like crazy behind closed doors.

Unfortunately it doesn't take Blaine long to realize what he's done. As soon as Kurt lays his hand over Blaine's, to tell him what he's doing is perfectly fine and to continue doing it as much as he wants – also to maybe go a little higher, because that used to be Kurt's sign for Blaine to venture further up his leg – Blaine removes his hand like Kurt's leg is diseased.

"Shouldn't we be heading back now?" He says and stands up abruptly, creating as much distance between him and Kurt as he possibly can.

And yeah, okay, maybe they should be heading back, but that was no excuse for Blaine to stop touching him at all. Kurt's a little miffed – actually he's a _lot_ miffed – but he'll just have to live with it, like he does all the time.

* * *

Back on-board the ship several hours later, after having just watched another show, which Kurt must say was so much better than the one they saw the other day, they are in a bar – actually it's supposed to be like a nightclub – sat in one of the corner tables. Correction; Kurt is sat in the nightclub on the corner table, guarding their drinks, as Jeff, Lynn and Blaine dance on the dance floor.

It's an adult's only club so Kurt's happy that there aren't any kids wandering around and pissing him off when he just wants to sit alone and not be bothered by anyone. Unfortunately, that isn't going to happen. Some random guy, extremely drunk, comes sauntering over to him.

"Can I buy you a drink?" The guy asks, trying hard to not slur his words. "You look a little lonely."

Kurt politely declines, shaking his head and glancing to the dance floor, searching for Blaine. He can't see him though, which is unfortunate, because if he could he would for sure be signalling him desperately to come over and save him from this creeper.

"I've been watching you all night; you're with the little curly haired guy, right?" Yeah, definite creeper. "You don't look happy with him." The guy continues, and you know, for a drunk guy he's pretty observant, but also well overstepping the line. "I could make you happy." Kurt scoffs, he actually _scoffs_.

Drunk guy doesn't look offended though, as he continues to press his matter further. In all honesty, apart from being drunk, he guy doesn't seem all that bad. He's decent looking - he's no Blaine but he's not bad. He's taller than Kurt but with a smaller build, so he's pretty lanky, and his fashion sense is a little drab, but Kurt's sure he could do something about that…

And woah. He's actually considering this guy's offer. _What on earth?_

"Excuse me?" Blaine's heavenly voice interrupts Kurt's deranged thoughts and this drunk guy's inner monologue. "Is he bothering you?" Blaine asks, sliding in next to Kurt and getting as close as possible. He rests his hand _extremely _high up on Kurt's thigh and Kurt has to hold back a yelp as well as a groan, because wow, Blaine should not be doing that right now. Kurt hasn't had sex in months; this isn't fair on him, he's seriously deprived and the alcohol in his system is not helping one bit. They say that alcohol isn't good when you're trying to get it up but it's not stopping Kurt, and that's super worrying.

"Blaine, it's fine." Kurt assures him, but apparently a drunk Blaine creates a jealous, handsy Blaine and that's never good, unless Kurt is equally drunk and horny, and yeah, he's not.

"It doesn't look fine, it _looks _like this guy is coming on to you," Blaine pauses to glare at the guy – who Kurt still doesn't know the name of – and point a shaky finger at him. "You do know he's married right? Married. To me."

"He don't look it," Okay, and yeah Kurt would never have dated him because his English skills are awful, not to mention his accent is super weird. "You know, mate, he looks like he'd much rather be screwing anyone else but you." Blaine stands up and slams his fist down on the table, making it shake and knocking Kurt's drink over. Kurt stands up about a second after Blaine, laying a hand on his chest and pushing him back.

"Blaine, come on, please don't do this, you know that's not true." And it's _not_ true; there is no one Kurt would rather be with, in _any_ way, other than Blaine. Apparently, when Blaine's drunk it's the same for him too.

"Yeah, well maybe I should _beat _some sense into him and make him see that." The guy on the other side of the table holds his hands up in mock surrender, grabs his drink and stands.

"Alright, man, I'm going. But you know, if you ever want to get away from this douchebag, look for me, I'm usually in here; name's Harry." Kurt doesn't even look at him – _Harry _– as he walks away, since he's too focused on calming Blaine down, because if he can't things are going to get a little heated.

"Are you guys okay?" Lynn asks when she reaches their table. Jeff picks up the fallen over glass and then wipes the wet table with napkins.

"We're fine," Kurt grumbles, but he doesn't move his hand or his eyes from Blaine, who is watching that guy dance around some other guy on the dance floor. "I'm gonna take Blaine back to our room, he's a little drunk." Lynn nods and steps aside for Kurt. Kurt takes Blaine's hand and wraps his other arm around Blaine's shoulder to guide him out of the nightclub.

He doesn't speak until they reach their room, when Kurt finally snaps.

"What is wrong with you?" He says, locking the bedroom door behind them and switching on the light. Blaine winces at the brightness and rubs harshly at his eyes.

"Nothing is wrong with me," Blaine replies.

"Oh yeah?" Kurt is extremely hostile toward Blaine and that is something he would never normally be. "Well, then what the fuck was that?" He also doesn't curse, like, ever.

"You mean, that asshole hitting on you? What, am I not allowed to tell him that you're taken?" Blaine glares back at Kurt and rests his hands on his hips, almost challengingly. And Kurt's always up for a challenge.

"No, Blaine you're not. He was harmless and I was going to tell him no anyway,"

"_Were you_?" He questions and that is not something Kurt ever wants to hear Blaine question about him.

"Are you seriously saying I would cheat on you? Not to mention basically right in front of you? Are you crazy? All the way through this sham of a marriage, Blaine, I have been nothing but faithful to you!" Kurt yells, because he is super angry with Blaine right now.

"Oh, that's what this is?" He asks. "A 'sham of a marriage'."

"Well, what is it Blaine?" Kurt really is not in the mood to be arguing with Blaine right now. It's late, he's tired, a little tipsy, Blaine's completely drunk and they have neighbours. The walls aren't exactly all that thick or soundproof. "Honestly, what is it? What is this between us now, because it certainly isn't a loving marriage?"

Blaine looks hurt, he looks seriously hurt and Kurt feels bad, for like, a second and then he goes straight back to being angry. In that split second that Kurt turns back angry, Blaine bursts into tears. He collapses to the floor and leans against the foot of the bed, head in his hands and sobs his heart out.

Kurt walks over and settles next to him. Blaine falls sideways into Kurt's shoulder and sobs there. Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine and just lets him cry until he can't cry anymore. It takes a while and Blaine cries a hell of a lot into Kurt's shirt - he is so glad he decided not to wear a really expensive shirt to dinner tonight because with the sweat and now the added tears would have ruined an expensive one.

"Why are you being like this Blaine? It is so confusing. You know, everything that happens to you happens to me too, and it hurts me just as much as you. So please, tell me what's wrong, tell me what I can do to make this better?" Blaine continues crying into Kurt's shoulder for a few more minutes, until his wracking sobs die down into just little sniffles.

"D-do you want to k-know why I b-blame myself for my M-Mom's accident?" He stutters and sniffles, his voice muffled by Kurt's shirt. He doesn't speak; he doesn't feel like he needs to, Blaine is going to tell him no matter what. "I called her up," Kurt knows that. "I called her when I was sat in a Starbucks bathroom crying my eyes out because of the argument we had just had. I was going to do something drastic and she was coming to stop me." Kurt inhales sharply. He has a few ideas of what Blaine was going to do and he's scared shitless about all of them. "You wanna know what I was going to do?"

Kurt nods, though he doesn't know whether he should know.

"I was going to file for a divorce." And out of all the possibilities that ran through Kurt's mind when Blaine said he was going to do something drastic; _that _was not one of them.

Kurt feels sick. Physically sick. He slides away from Blaine and runs his hands through his hair, which is pretty greasy because of the sweat and heat from the nightclub.

"W-what?" His voice cracks. He has never felt so hurt, so pained, so…it's almost like his heart has been ripped out of his chest, thrown on the floor and stomped on until it's battered and bruised but still beating; unfortunately.

Blaine doesn't say anything, he just leans there, against Kurt's shoulder, still sniffling and occasionally wiping away the hot tears that flow down his cheeks.

"D-do you still feel like that?" Kurt asks, despite that he doesn't want to know the answer at all, but it's almost like he's compelled to ask him, like his head is begging to know yet his heart is yelling at him because it can't take anymore. He's torn, but his head is winning this battle. He wishes it wasn't.

"I, uh, I have to g-go somewhere. I need to…" Blaine says, standing up and leaving the room as fast as he could.

Honestly, Kurt is somewhat glad he didn't get an answer from Blaine, but at the same time he's also super pissed that Blaine left yet again.

He leaves Kurt to sit there, on the floor, wailing like a baby until he returns back, even more drunk than before, at 4am. He crawls into bed without taking off his shirt and pants, and snuggles in next to Kurt. Kurt did actually move to the bed at some point, he just doesn't remember when though, more preoccupied with thinking about his conversation with Blaine.

* * *

**:)**

**Reviews welcomed as always!**


	7. Mediterranean Sea

**Helloo all!**

**I'm overwhelmed by the response this story has gotten! Thank you so so much for all your kind reviews, following and favourites this fic has! It means so much to me and I'm just so glad you're all enjoying it! This fic took me a long time to write and I loved every second of it.**

**This is not the end though, don't painc, I just wanted to thank you all. This is honestly, just the beginning. We have a few more chapters left, but this is where things start looking up for Kurt and Blaine - sort of! ;)**

**This time next week, as my friend just pointed out, I will be exam free and looking forward to watching episodes 14 and 15 of Glee!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

-**Part Seven.**—

**Day Five. Somewhere in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea. August 25****th****2020**

Kurt hasn't slept at all. It's early, he knows that much, the sunlight is streaming through the curtains at the balcony door and by the looks of it it's pretty bright. They're at sea all day today, since it's meant to be a day for relaxing and refreshing. He wanted to go to the spa with Lynn and get a facial or something; it doesn't look like that's going to happen though.

Blaine is lay beside him, on his stomach, lightly snoring. He still has his shirt and pants on from last night. Kurt couldn't bring himself to get him changed when he arrived back at the room around 4am. Kurt's not undressed himself though either. He's still decked out in his shirt and three-quarter length linen pants from last night's dinner. And that's really not like him.

His thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the bedroom door. He slides off the bed, ever so gently though he knows Blaine probably isn't going to wake up for a while, and makes his way to the door. Lynn is standing outside, smiling as he opens the door. She's about to start talking but Kurt lays his finger against his lips and ushers her inside the room.

"Blaine's sleeping," Lynn glances over to the bed and frowns at Kurt's husband. "He came back last night pretty drunk; we had another argument and so, yeah…" He doesn't really know what else to tell her. They had an argument because of what happened at the bar, Kurt found out that Blaine was going to file for divorce before his Mom's car accident and then Blaine stormed off and came back super drunk. In all honesty, Kurt doesn't know how he walked back to the room, and he's just thankful that Blaine didn't do something stupid and re-enact titanic.

"I guess you're not going to be coming for breakfast then?" Kurt shakes his head and then guides Lynn back to the door by her elbow.

"No, we'll probably just order room service."

"Okay, honey. Well, we should be around the pool, come and find us if he's feeling better and if you are too." Lynn's always so considerate, and Kurt smiles softly at her as she waves bye to him and walks back down the corridor toward the elevators.

Kurt closes the door quietly and tip toes into the bathroom to get a shower while Blaine is still sleeping. He grabs a change of clothes and then locks the bathroom door. His shower is pretty quick; he washes his hair, cleans himself and then dries himself off in record time, because he doesn't want to be away from Blaine for too long. He brushes his teeth, runs through his skin routine, towel dries as much of his hair as he can – because his hair is super thick and unlike Blaine's it actually needs to be blow dried – styles in neatly and then dresses himself in shorts and a plain t-shirt.

When he exits the bathroom, the TV is on low volume and Blaine is somewhat sat up in bed, leaning against Kurt's pillows that are propped up. He looks so tired - his eyes have big black bags under them and they're drooping closed as he flicks through the channels.

Kurt walks over to him, takes the TV remote out of his hand, puts it on the night stand and then climbs onto the bed and snuggles in next to him. Blaine doesn't say anything and he also doesn't flinch away from Kurt, which is progress. Instead, he just watches the TV screen with a vacant expression.

It takes him about fifteen minutes of watching the camera at the front of the ship show a view of wide Open Ocean before Blaine finally cracks and curls into Kurt, sobs wracking his body. Kurt hugs him to his chest tighter than ever before, almost as if he's making up for all the times these past four months that he hasn't been able to do this. All the times he's felt like Blaine hasn't wanted him anywhere near him. He's holding his husband who is falling apart in his arms and he could not be happier, which is why he feels terrible about it. He shouldn't be happy that Blaine is feeling like shit, he should be trying his best to comfort him, and don't get him wrong, he _is_. He's hugging him and rocking him, and soothing him by murmuring words into his ears, but on the inside it's like wave of relief just hit him square in the face.

Blaine has finally cracked and broken down. It's been leading up to the moment for months and, now it's finally here, Kurt is excited. He's ecstatic that it's here. Because now that Blaine has broken Kurt can work on fixing him. Fixing him before this happened wouldn't have worked, it would have just postponed the inevitable.

Blaine is mumbling something into Kurt's shirt, but Kurt can't quite make it out. "What are you saying, honey?" It's the first time in a long time that Kurt's actually been able to use a pet name without getting ignored or having Blaine flinch away from him.

"I-I-I'm so s-sorry Kurt," Blaine stutters and sniffles, but then moves away from Kurt's chest to lay his head on Kurt's shoulder instead, so that Kurt can hear him clearly when he speaks.

"What are you sorry for?" Blaine shrugs his shoulders and wipes his nose on Kurt's shoulder. Usually Kurt would be pretty pissed at him for doing that, but honestly right now he thinks it's the cutest thing ever and he wants Blaine to continue doing it; forever.

"Everything," Blaine mumbles. "I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you. I'm sorry for not telling you how bad I felt about things, I'm sorry for being so snappy and horrible toward you, I'm just _sorry_. You're the love of my life Kurt, and why I hurt you I will never know."

Kurt can feel that all too familiar smarting and stinging in his eyes that he doesn't want to feel. He bites his bottom lip to hold back the tears for as long as he can: he'd cried enough last night he doesn't need any more tears. He's actually surprised he still has enough fluids to cry, he's done that much of it.

"Blaine, please don't apologize," Kurt's voice cracks and tears start flowing down his face. He rubs his cheek on Blaine's curls and kisses his hair, inhaling the sharp scent of alcohol and sweat from last night. It's not nice and Blaine really needs to shower. "I cannot imagine what you've been going through and it's okay." Blaine shakes his head. "We all hurt the ones we love."

Blaine continues to shake his head. "I promised myself when we agreed to spend the rest of our lives together that I would never _ever_hurt you in any way, and I have done, I have done so much and it makes me feel like crap. _That's_why I wanted to file for divorce, because I couldn't live like that, I couldn't live hurting you anymore. You would have been better off without me, you probably still are."

"No!" Kurt insists. "Never. I would never have been better without you and I'm never going to be. You're_it_ for me Blaine, you are everything to me, you're my life and without you I don't know how I'd be able to live." Blaine exhales a shaky breath, but let's Kurt continue with his speech. "Yeah, you might have hurt me, but I've also hurt you and you're going through so much worse than me. I love you." Kurt murmurs into Blaine's hair and Blaine latches on to Kurt's shoulder with his other hand tightly. He grabs a fistful of Kurt's shirt and tugs himself closer, tangling their legs together and getting as close as he can. And Kurt just lets him, because he's missed this so much.

"I've tried so hard to think about how all this started, I've been lying awake at night thinking about who started it, who caused the first argument and I can't remember, so that means it's obviously pretty insignificant." Blaine tells him, and it's in that moment that Kurt realizes he has been doing the same - constantly thinking about their petty arguments, at any moment when his mind wanders off of its own accord. He's been trying to think when this began, what solutions are there to fix it and every time he's been coming up empty handed. Maybe the solution all along was to just talk.

But talking seemed so easy. And something this complicated could not have a solution that simple.

"It was both of us." Kurt admits, having finally, in that split second, come to that conclusion. Blaine looks up to him, confusion in his eyes. "We both started it, we both caused it. It takes two to tango and we were both equally involved. Our jobs got harder, more hours needed to be put in and we just gradually pulled apart from each other, and the only way to feel close was to argue, because then at least we were talking – if not yelling." Blaine bites the inside of his cheek, his mouth turning up at the corners into a little smile.

"I'm sorry I was so distant for so long," Kurt shrugs it off like it was nothing.

"I was distant, too," Blaine laughs, that glorious ringing laughter that Kurt hasn't heard for so long, directed at him.

"We need to stop this." He says. "We need to move on and recover." Kurt nods and pulls Blaine closer to his chest, allowing Blaine's head to fall from his shoulder and back onto his chest.

"And you need to shower," Kurt chuckles, easing away what tension is left between them. It's not much and Kurt is baffled by how easy that was. No way. There has to be more than that. A year long dispute is not reconciled by a fifteen minute discussion about them both being wrong and both being sorry. If it is then Kurt has lost some good friends just because he didn't speak to them and find out what was going on.

"When my Mom died," Blaine voices and Kurt inhales sharply because he thought they were done with this discussion. He doesn't particularly want to hear about Blaine's Mom, it hurts too much and it has to hurt Blaine ten times worse. "At the hospital all I wanted to do was fall into your arms and have you hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay, but because of that argument and what I was thinking before everything happened, I felt disgusted with myself. Like, how was I supposed to acknowledge you, touch you, or even just speak to you when I had been feeling like that? It felt, deep down, like I was betraying you and that hurt more than anything."

Kurt swallows thickly and blinks rapidly, looking around the room, his eyes avoiding contact with Blaine's. "I, um, I never want you to feel like that again," Kurt tells him when he finally manages to gather the right words. "I don't care if we hate each other, I don't care if it's when we're out listening to Rachel rant on about how annoying Sophie is. I _want_you to tell me, okay? Maybe we should have a code word or something? Something that we just need to say, that no one else knows, but we know that one of us needs the other and we need to just get out of the situation. I've seen it in movies all the time."

Blaine smirks and nuzzles his cheek against Kurt's. Kurt pulls away, but only slightly, telling Blaine that his stubble isn't doing his skin any good and Blaine's reply is; "That's my Kurt." Kurt feels overwhelmed by those words and he exhales a breath he hasn't realized he's been holding.

"When we get you back home, we need to get you some help, professional help. Not me, not your brother, not your friends. I'm sure Cooper knows some good people that maybe you can just voice your feelings to and they can help you get through it. It's nothing to be ashamed of, you know," Kurt says when Blaine looks up at him like he's crazy. "A shrink is something a lot of people have at some time in their life."

"You haven't needed one, and you've probably been through more crap than me."

"You wanna know why?" Blaine nods. "Because I've had my Dad, and he always made sure I told him everything. Hell, he even knew when I lost my virginity." Blaine's eyes widen, but he shakes it off with a soft laugh, surely he should have known Burt knew that. Blaine supposes that it's kind of obvious. And besides, he accidently slipped up and mentioned something to Carole one time; he should have known that Burt will have already known everything. "I just," Kurt continues. "If you feel like you can't talk to me about something private, I want you to feel like you can talk to someone else who is just as helpful and maybe not as judging." Blaine nods in agreement; maybe it's not so much of a bad idea. "And you know what, for the first few sessions, I'll come with you. I mean, only if you want me to." It's probably a little early in their make-up to making assumptions like that.

"Okay," Blaine says. "I agree on those terms. But I just want you to know Kurt, I love you so much, I really do, but those feelings that I had, as stupid as they may have been, they're still there, in the back of my mind, and maybe I'll need some time to just recover from that." Kurt is a little let down, but he nods regardless. He knew it wasn't as simple as a nice little chat and then they make-up. But he guesses he can live with that. He just has to prove to Blaine now that he's here for everything, no matter what. He's in it for the long run and even if worse comes to worst and Blaine does want a d-divorce – god he can't even think it – then he will always be Blaine's friend.

"I understand, I do," Kurt informs him, because he feels like Blaine should know that Kurt gets it, he does. "Do you, um, wanna get some breakfast or something?" Blaine shakes his head and snuggles further into the bed, cuddling Kurt closer and just revelling in the feeling of being close to him again.

Kurt snuggles back, and scoots down also, so he's on par with Blaine. They turn to lay side by side, still holding one another and looking into each other's bloodshot eyes. Kurt strokes his hand through Blaine's hair, releasing a few more curls from their gel prison and curling them around his finger. Blaine lifts his own hand to run his fingers across Kurt's cheek and then down his neck, resting them in the space between his neck and his shoulder, rubbing his thumb over the exposed, pale skin there.

"Let's just lay here for a while and cuddle. We can meet Lynn and Jeff for lunch later." Kurt nods and leans forward to press a feather light kiss to Blaine's forehead.

"Maybe we should both get some sleep, I haven't slept all night." Blaine frowns and asks why. "Because I was watching you, making sure you were okay." Blaine sighs and moves his head forward to rest his forehead against Kurt's.

"Okay, sleep it is. Cuddle me though, never let me go?"

"I'll never let you go Blaine." Kurt grins as he speaks the words.

"This is no time to be going all _Titanic_ on me, and besides she lies, she does let him go."

Blaine turns over so that he's facing the balcony door instead and allows Kurt to be the big spoon and snuggle him from behind. Their legs are tangled, their hands are intertwined, resting on Blaine's belly, and Kurt's warm, minty fresh breath is blowing on the back of Blaine's neck. It's soothing and calming, and Blaine honestly thinks he could lay here forever. Yeah, and maybe forget the world.

Stupid _Snow Patrol_lyrics.

* * *

They end up going to lunch on their own. Finding Lynn and Jeff seems like too much of an effort and so they decide to head into the Windjammer Café, grab a little bite to eat and then head out onto the pool deck to get some loungers before looking around for Lynn and Jeff, who will most likely be in their usual spot.

Kurt doesn't remember the last time they spoke to each other this much. It's crazy and really alien, which is super weird to Kurt, because just talking to Blaine should never be alien. Blaine is his husband, the love of his life, and they should have been communicating this whole time.

They talk about everything and anything. Blaine is looking much happier; he's laughing and joking along with Kurt and when Kurt reaches across the table to take Blaine's hand in his, Blaine squeezes back with a smile. It's refreshing really, being able to do this again. Kurt thinks it's too good to be true.

Because they haven't even spoken to each other about the vacation, they discuss the places they liked – Italy, mainly – and the places they didn't really like – France – probably because they didn't really have all that much to do there. They didn't book any tours and so they were confined to the small town that didn't have much in it.

They then move onto the entertainment, the food on board the ship, the hospitality, Lynn and Jeff and so much more. Kurt really can't comprehend why they haven't been talking like this since the beginning - the one thing everyone always said about Kurt and Blaine is that they told each other everything, they knew everything about the other, and right now it feels crazy to Kurt because it's like he's learning all about Blaine all over again. Like he said; it's refreshing.

Learning what Blaine enjoyed and didn't enjoy so much on this trip is actually kind of like taking a dive into his own mind. They are so similar in every way. Blaine didn't really like the first show they went to see with Lynn and Jeff, neither did Kurt. He honestly prefers to eat in the Windjammer café than in the restaurant – though they are both looking forward to tonight as it's a formal wear night and they get to dress up – they both find it much too formal for their liking.

Blaine asks Kurt what he wished for when he threw the quarter into the Trevi Fountain yesterday, and Kurt smirks and replies with; "This." Blaine grins in return and squeezes his hand again.

Kurt goes off to get them both a cake, returning with a chocolate cake for Blaine and some kind of cream roll for him. Blaine thanks him and eats his cake, talking to Kurt all the time in between bites.

They've literally just finish their lunch when Lynn and Jeff wander past them, talking to each other. Before Kurt can stop him Blaine calls out their names and they turn a full 360 degrees. Kurt likes Lynn and Jeff, he does, but he really just wanted to be alone with Blaine for a little while longer. He was having so much fun, possibly the most amount of fun he's had this whole vacation and all they were doing was talking to each other.

"Hey guys, how are you?"

Blaine grins at Lynn and replies with; "Great!" Lynn raises her eyebrows and looks over to Kurt as Jeff takes a seat beside Blaine – they had to get a table for four it was the only one they could find – and starts talking to him. Lynn comes to sit beside Kurt.

"Well, he seems cheerier." She murmurs to Kurt. Kurt nods in response, never once taking his eyes off of Blaine, because he loves seeing him this happy.

"Yeah," Kurt agrees, not really paying much attention to Lynn, still focusing all his attention on Blaine's enthusiasm whilst he talks to Jeff. "He seems to have recovered from last night anyway."

"So do you." She says, and Kurt turns away from Blaine because he's confused by what Lynn said.

"Huh?"

"You seem happier too, a lot happier. Are things better between you two?" She whispers into his ear. Kurt leans over and grabs Blaine's hand where it's resting on the table, twining their fingers together again and squeezing to let Blaine know Kurt is still here. Blaine squeezes back even though he's in mid conversation with Jeff.

"They're getting better." Kurt sighs and continues to watch Blaine like a creeper. Ah, well.

"Jeff," Lynn senses that it's time to get moving. "We should go and get some lunch?" She cocks her head to the side and gestures for him to shut up and get moving.

"We can head out and watch your loungers if you want?" Blaine asks, ever the gentleman.

"Oh, thank you, Blaine." Lynn says to him.

Kurt and Blaine stand up and say bye to Lynn and Jeff. They make their way out of the Windjammer café and out toward the pool deck where Lynn and Jeff's loungers are. Blaine walks extremely close to Kurt and, just as they are walking out of the café doors, he slides his hand down Kurt's arm and tangles their fingers together.

Kurt can't hold back his smile.

Once they get outside, Blaine strips out of his shirt and lies on Jeff's sun lounger, while Kurt sits on Lynn's beside him, but makes sure to cover up every bit of skin that is showing. Even though he is covered head to toe in sun block, he is not taking any risks. Not this time. He made the mistake of sitting out in the sun in New York a few weeks back and he ended up looking like a lobster, of course Cooper though it was hilarious, and so he doesn't want to fuel any ones fire.

Blaine grins at him like a crazy person when he covers himself up with Lynn's towel.

"The sun won't hurt you, you know." He says as he settles back, putting his sun glasses over his eyes and soaking up the rays.

"Oh yeah. Tell that to my body, which burns at the sight of anything even remotely above seventy degrees." Blaine chuckles and blindly reaches across to twine his fingers with Kurt's.

"It's because you don't go out in the sun, you just sit in the shade and stay pale. You know, you'd look stunning with a little tan." Blaine wiggles his nose so that his glasses fall down a little, revealing a quirked eyebrow and a wide eye.

"Just because you have awesome genes does not mean I have them too." Blaine chuckles again and runs his finger over Kurt's wedding band.

"You have wonderful jeans; also your genetics are pretty good." Kurt shakes his head with laughter and bats at Blaine's chest.

"You are so cheesy, but yes, I guess I can agree with you on that one - all my jeans are pretty amazing, and so are my genetics." Blaine cocks his head to the side and smirks at his husband.

This is the kind of loving banter they have both missed so much over these last four months. And even though it's not back in full throttle, it's getting there for sure, and Kurt is super glad about that.

They continue to hold hands as Blaine soaks up the sun and they wait for Lynn and Jeff to finish their lunch. After about twenty minutes of lying on his back, Blaine switches positions, drops the lounger to its lowest setting and lies on his stomach, allowing his back to get some sun too. He swaps his hands over so that he can still keep a tight hold on Kurt's though.

Lynn and Jeff return about fifteen minutes later, and Lynn claims the sun lounger from Blaine, as Jeff drags him off to go and have a relax in one of the many hot tubs. Kurt is lucky there is a hot tub basically right in front of them; this way he gets to chat to Lynn all he wants, while still being able to watch Blaine at all times.

"So, like I said earlier, you look happier. Much happier actually, and you cannot take your eyes off of Blaine, do I sense a reconciliation?" Lynn grins as she rubs sun lotion over her flat stomach. Kurt bites his bottom lip and watches as Blaine and Jeff sink into the hot tub, talking about something that Kurt can't quite make out from where he's sat.

"I don't want to jinx anything, Lynn," Lynn nods, pursing her lips and watching Kurt's face break into a grin that stretches from ear to ear. "But Blaine and I are getting back on track. I don't really know how it happened, just this morning he broke down and we had a nice talk about everything." Kurt's voice cracks a little at the end, thinking about all the things they did talk about. Lynn reaches over and takes a hold of his hand, squeezing it to reassure him that everything's okay. "He blames himself for his Mom's death because he called her up right?" Lynn nods, she's already been told that. "But the reason he called her was because he was going to do something stupid." Lynn gasps, her hand shooting to cover her mouth. "It's really not what you think; he was going to file for a d-divorce."

"Oh my god, Kurt, honey." Lynn leans over and holds his arm with her other hand as Kurt's eyes well up with tears, thankfully they are behind sunglasses so nobody but him can tell - and maybe Lynn because she's sitting so close to him.

"He says that those feelings are still very alive and very there, but they are fading." Kurt chokes on his own breath, because really, he wouldn't know what to do without Blaine in his life. He may have vowed to always be his friend no matter what, but honestly, how true would that be if it actually came to separation?

Lynn clears her throat before speaking; it's almost as if she's just as shocked by this as Kurt is. "But if he said that 'he was going to do something stupid' then surely he thinks that separating from you is stupid?" Kurt shrugs his shoulders. That's the part he's been trying to figure out for the past few hours. It's contradictory and super confusing, and he honestly doesn't need any more confusion right now. But apparently he's going to get it no matter what.

"Honestly, honey," Lynn's soothing voice draws him back to reality, back to the sounds of kids screaming as they run about the deck and jump in the pools, the smell of fresh sea air and chlorine hitting his nostrils and making them flare. "I really don't think you have anything to worry about." Lynn gestures with her head, ever so subtly, toward the hot tub where Blaine and Jeff are talking. Blaine might be talking to Jeff, but he's certainly not looking at him. His eyes are stuck on Kurt, they watch him with fever and something that Kurt can't quite pinpoint, but it looks an awful lot like…_lust._

Kurt smiles at Blaine, biting the inside of his cheek as he does so. Blaine's eyes glaze over with something, _that_ look again, that look that Kurt thinks is lust but there is absolutely no way. He continues to watch Kurt until he and Jeff decide they have had enough of the hot tub and get up to head back to the deck chairs. Kurt lifts up to give Jeff his towel to dry himself off and then gives Blaine his own towel from their little beach bag they carry around. Jeff wanders off to go and get himself and Lynn a cup of tea while Blaine sits on the edge of the deck chair Kurt is on, stroking down Kurt's bare leg with his damp hands.

* * *

Kurt doesn't remember when he got up on the dance floor and started grinding against Blaine, but he's doing it right now. He also doesn't remembering drinking more than a glass of wine, but there are several empty shot glasses on their table where Lynn and Jeff are giggling away, so apparently he drank more than just a glass of white wine.

He and Blaine are pretty central on the dance floor, grinding against each other with the beat of the music. Kurt has his arms wrapped around Blaine's neck and Blaine has his hands tight around Kurt's waist, hugging him close to him as they dance together.

Their foreheads keep mashing together because they are dancing that close, but neither of them ever breaks eye contact with the other and they continue to dance to the beat and grind against each other. Kurt doesn't know how he's holding off on getting a serious hard on, because wow, all the heat in the night club and the added tension of Blaine being closer than he ever has been in months is sending him crazy.

Kurt can totally see Lynn eyeing them from where she's sat; she basically has a bird's eye view of them. Kurt really doesn't give a shit. He's dancing – _grinding_– with his husband and life is pretty good right now. Though he's super horny and can't do anything about it, and probably won't be able to do anything about it. All in all he's pissed but also the happiest he's been in a long, long time.

Blaine pulls him closer to him, tightening his hold around Kurt's waist and rests his head against Kurt's neck as the music slows to a steady beat and flows into a slower song. A few people vacate the dance floor around them and, for a split second, it feels like it's just them dancing there. They slow their dance moves to match the beat of the music and dance together in perfect sync once again.

Kurt spots Lynn and Jeff coming up beside them and stepping into an empty space, wrapping their arms around each other and dancing alongside Kurt and Blaine. Kurt doesn't recognize the song but it's pretty slow and it's a nice change from all the upbeat dance music they've heard all night. The DJ yells over the speaker for people to grab their significant others and dance the night away.

And that's exactly what the majority of the people do. Well, the older people anyway. All the younger ones have left the dance floor and found their seats again, or have gone to the bar to get more drinks.

Kurt and Blaine are closer than ever, the music just a gentle hum in the background and all Kurt can hear is Blaine and he isn't even speaking. Blaine pulls back from where his head was resting on Kurt's shoulder, bats his long eyelashes and looks up to meet Kurt's blue eyes with his own honey glazed ones. That look, that all too familiar look makes Kurt's heart melt in his chest, and his knees wobble and shake.

At precisely the same moment both men lean in and their lips touch with an electric spark, but neither pulls back. Kurt's eyes flutter shut and his lips parts ever so slightly to accommodate more of Blaine. Everything surrounding him is Blaine right now, he can hear him, feel him around his body, taste him on his tongue, smell him and he's touching him everywhere. One of his hands are curling into Blaine's free curls, the other is loosening Blaine's black bow tie around his neck.

The kiss is over much quicker than Kurt wanted it to be and with his eyes still closed he chases blindly for Blaine's mouth, never wanting the kiss to end. Blaine grins and his shoulders shake with silent laughter. He leans up on his tip toes to kiss Kurt's nose and then mumbles in his ear; "Let's get out of here." Kurt opens his eyes and looks down to Blaine, whose eyes are blown wide, pupils dilated and he's panting a little.

As they walk out they pass Lynn and Jeff, brushing past them, telling them they'll see them tomorrow, Lynn stage winks at Kurt as he is dragged out of the night club.

Kurt honestly doesn't remember how they managed to get back to their stateroom without ravishing one another in the elevator or down the corridor to their room. But as soon as Kurt closes and locks the stateroom door, Blaine is on him like a moth to a flame. He slams him against the door and kisses him senseless. A kiss that Kurt has wanted for so long.

"Want you so bad," Blaine growls – he literally _growls_ – against Kurt's lips and who is Kurt to say no to his very attractive, very turned on husband?

"You have me, take me." He says and shoves Blaine backwards, kissing him with fire as he walks them both backward in the general direction of the bed. He unties Blaine's bow tie and flings it across the room somewhere, then he starts unbuttoning Blaine's crisp white shirt as they reach the bed. Blaine's knees collide with the edge of the bed and he falls back, pulling Kurt on top of him and curling his legs around the backs of Kurt's thighs, yanking him closer and deepening the kiss so that it's less mashing off teeth and a hell of a lot more tongue.

Blaine lifts his hands to tangle in Kurt's hair, tugging and pulling at it until Kurt lets out a groan and pants hot wet kisses down Blaine's neck. His hands then proceed to rake through Kurt's hair, pulling him back away from Blaine's mouth so that his neck is exposed and Blaine can lift up to nip his way down from Kurt's ear to his Adams apple, sucking on the tender skin there. Kurt lets out a whine and grinds his hips down into Blaine's. Feeling his own arousal against Blaine's thigh makes Kurt moan even deeper and allow Blaine to just do whatever he wants with him. This is Blaine's time to shine; he's letting Blaine take control, not really fussing about anything other than Blaine and everything that goes with _Blaine_.

Kurt manages to remove Blaine's shirt and it just so has to be tonight that they decide to do this and Blaine is wearing more layers than Kurt wears in winter. He yanks off his undershirt and throws in the direction of the couch, not caring where it lands. He unbuttons his own shirt when Blaine's frantic hands attempt to get the buttons undone and actually ends up popping one off and sending it flying across the room with a loud ping. Blaine giggles like a child and then helps Kurt remove his shirt, running his hands down his bare chest once it's gone.

They quickly get themselves undressed so they are both fully naked and slowly rolling their hips up and down to meet each other with each thrust.

"K-Kurt, seriously."

"What?" Kurt asks, biting down hard on Blaine's collarbone and grinning into his tanned skin when Blaine emits a high pitched keen of pleasure.

"I _need _you," Kurt knows what Blaine means and it doesn't take him a few seconds before he's standing up and making his way to the bathroom, returning less than half a minute later with the supplies he needs. He wishes he didn't have to use a condom right now, all he wants is to be as close to Blaine as possible, but it'll get messy and Kurt doesn't know how often they change the sheets and he is not okay with sleeping in his own fluids for the next few days.

He climbs back on top of Blaine, throwing down the lube and condom on the bed beside him. The room is pretty dark but he can see Blaine's eyes glowing with satisfaction and pleasure beneath him. He grins and kisses his way down Blaine's chest, nipping and sucking in the places he knows will send Blaine into ecstasy.

Before Blaine can beg for him again, Kurt uncaps the lube, coats his fingers in a generous amount and teases Blaine, wanting to hear him whine a little longer, before sliding a finger inside of him. It's been so long and it feels so foreign to Kurt so he wonders what on earth it must feel like to Blaine. But he's trying not to think all too much about that because Blaine is writhing beneath him, grabbing onto every part of Kurt's body he can and begging for more. Kurt obliges, sliding a second finger in and stretching Blaine open until he once again begs for more.

It doesn't take Kurt long to get Blaine prepared – he thinks Blaine is lying to him and telling him it's okay when it's not but who is he to question? He removes his fingers, wipes them on the wash cloth he got when he made the trip to the bathroom before and then reaches for the condom. Blaine sits up a little to aid Kurt in putting it on – not that he needs it but he lets Blaine do it regardless. Once everything is as is needs to be Kurt lines himself up and slides inside Blaine. He groans with pleasure at the blinding heat and tightness, and Blaine wriggles underneath him, biting down hard on his bottom lip. Kurt doesn't want Blaine to hurt himself so he leans down and kisses him, soothing Blaine's furrowed expression with his lips and swallowing the loud moan that escapes Blaine's lips. Kurt cannot help but smile.

He sets a nice slow, not too slow, but slow enough rhythm with his hips and Blaine bucks up into every thrust, but at the same time allows Kurt to do most of the work. Even though Kurt said he wanted Blaine to take control tonight, this is totally okay with him.

Blaine pants and chants Kurt's name with every other thrust until Kurt feels that heat coiling in his lower stomach, the tightening feeling, the pleasure burning everywhere. He picks up the pace and Blaine shouts out his name loud enough for their neighbors to hear and know exactly what they are doing. Kurt hopes that they are out around the ship and not listening to this because they have not been quiet _at all._

Kurt's movements become erratic and uneven, but Blaine still manages to meet every thrust with his own. Kurt decides now is the time to pay attention to Blaine's own erection which has been neglected all this time. It takes a few strokes and a flick of the wrist – the way Kurt knows Blaine loves – before he's coming all over Kurt's hand and his own stomach with a shout.

Kurt follows no less than twenty seconds after, three more rolls of the hips, Blaine's name on the tip of his tongue, and he's collapsing in a heap on top of Blaine, panting for dear life. He pulls out of Blaine with a hiss and then tugs the condom off, heading straight to the bathroom and wrapping it up in masses of toilet tissue before throwing it in the trash can.

Blaine is cleaning himself off when Kurt returns with the wash cloth that Kurt brought before. Kurt throws himself on the bed beside Blaine, who winces, but curls into Kurt regardless.

"I love you Kurt," Blaine murmurs, still in his haze.

"I love you too Blaine," Kurt replies, scooting up the bed, flicking off the bedside lights and tugging the sheet over his naked body. Blaine follows suit, snuggling under the sheets with Kurt, tangling their legs and pressing a kiss to Kurt's damp – with sweat – neck.

They cuddle like that until they both drift to sleep. It's been a long day and Kurt knows tomorrow's going to be a longer once. But it was a good ending to the day, he will admit that much.

* * *

**Things appear to be looking up for our favourite couple! Fingers crossed it stays that way!**

**As always reviews welcome! **


	8. Croatia

**Well my exams are finally finished & I could not be more happy! Even though I haven't missed an update now I have no excuse if I do!**

**Enjoy the chapter guys! :)**

* * *

-**Part Eight**—

**Day Six. ****Split, Croatia. August 26****th ****2020.**

Blaine blinks awake, his bleary eyes settling on the unfamiliar room, without his glasses or contact lenses everything just looks a blur, but it gradually comes into focus – parts of it anyway. The ceiling above him is still pretty blurry as he focuses on the intricate pattern, but as he squints, his eyes his head starts spinning.

Okay, so he drank a lot of alcohol last night.

There's something, or someone, that's pretty warm and snuggly next to him, curled into his –woah – naked chest. He slowly, carefully, turns his head toward the warmth and his brain registers that it is in fact Kurt resting on his shoulder, his chestnut hair tickling under Blaine's chin.

He reaches for his glasses that are on the night stand and slides them on his face so he can see better. His hazy eyes – still adjusting to the lenses – wander around the suite, which is in complete disarray. There's clothing dotted around everywhere, on the floor, on the couch, at the foot of the bed. Kurt's silk shirt is lying carelessly on the floor beside Blaine's side of the bed, and is that? – Yes it is – Blaine's bow tie is hanging precariously on the door handle of the balcony. Well, that's new.

Memories of the previous night come flooding back; the dancing, the _grinding_on the dance floor, the soft yet assertive kiss he and Kurt shared, – also on the dance floor – practically racing back to the stateroom with Kurt in tow, shoving Kurt against the door, stripping him of his clothing and then letting Kurt have his way with him.

Looking down to the chestnut head of hair pillowed on his shoulder, he smiles. Unable to resist the temptation of being so close to his beloved husband after so long, he knows that it's now probably going to be impossible for him to keep his hands off of him. He lifts his hand that isn't twined with Kurt's over his stomach and gently runs his fingers through Kurt's tangled hair. Kurt stirs and Blaine stills automatically, not wanting to wake him from his peaceful slumber, but he settles after a few seconds. Then Blaine continues stroking through Kurt's hair, unknotting any knots he finds with his fingers.

He really doesn't want to move, but he knows he's going to have to; he so desperately needs to pee and Kurt's leg pressing against his bladder is doing nothing to improve that situation. Unfortunately, it becomes too much way too soon and he knows he has to move from his cocoon of warmth. Luckily, he's reasonably near to the edge of the bed – and oh, there's his underwear – he plants his foot on the floor and manages to carefully slide out of the bed, holding Kurt's head with his free hand as he settles it down on his pillow. Kurt mumbles something incoherent in his sleep but remains with his eyes closed, lips slightly parted and breathing even.

Blaine stands there for a few seconds, just looking down at his sleeping husband, watching him snore ever so lightly and questioning himself on why he ever thought it would be a good idea to even consider leaving him. Blaine was so stupid for thinking about something like that - Kurt is so loving, so caring and maybe if Blaine had just spoken to him, like they always used to, it would have never of come to any of this. But, what will be, will be. Right now, Blaine knows what he has to do is earn Kurt's trust and love once again. It's going to be tough, but he also knows it'll for sure be worth it. Kurt's always been worth it.

After the little pep talk his waking mind gives him, he manages to pull his underwear on and tip toe across the room to the bathroom, where he finally gets the chance to empty his bladder and then brush his teeth. His reflection looking back at him in the mirror is a little contorted. His mind is saying he's getting happier but his expression remains bleak and bland. He has rather large black bags under his eyes, which have just been getting worse the less and less he sleeps, though he has to say last night was possibly the best sleep he's had in months.

Kurt's still sound asleep when he re-enters the bedroom. He stops at the side of the bed and leans over to run his fingers through Kurt's hair again and place a soft kiss on his forehead. Blaine is actually glad Kurt is getting some well needed sleep too, because as much as he makes out these past few months haven't affected him as much as they have Blaine, Blaine knows full well that they've probably affected Kurt just as much. And all the times Blaine is awake during the night means Kurt is awake most of the time too, though one or the other is usually pretending to be sleeping just so they didn't have to talk to one another. Now, Blaine thinks, they can sit up awake together and actually talk to each other about what's bothering them.

He decides on sitting out on the balcony for a little while. It's still pretty early in the morning, the sun is just rising and they are pulling into dock so it has to be around 6:30am, which considering their late night last night, is a pretty good time for Blaine to be awake and reasonably alert.

He should probably think about ordering in some coffee or something. In fact, he might head down to the Royal Promenade café and grab them some of Seattle's Best, because well, Kurt deserves a nice Mocha.

So instead of heading to the balcony then, he heads to the closet and pulls out a pair of shorts and a polo shirt. He's got no clue what the weather is going to be like today – Kurt usually knows that – but regardless he's coming back to the room and probably getting changed anyway so he's not fussed about what he wears.

Shoving his loafers on and grabbing his key card, he sneaks quietly out of the room with one last glance to a sleeping Kurt in the bed.

* * *

Kurt rouses about five minutes after Blaine leaves. But he doesn't know that Blaine's gone to get coffee. So, when he wakes up to an empty bed and Blaine is nowhere to be seen in the stateroom, he panics. He leans over the balcony, thinking the worst and that's super stupid, because there is no way Blaine would have been able to fall over that balcony, or jump over it for that matter, he'd never be able to climb it.

He wonders if Blaine just went for a walk. He tries to settle his mind on something logical, but nothing seems to be working for him. Right now the irrational is making more sense. And that's wrong because it really shouldn't be.

Instead of worrying about the whereabouts of his husband, he focuses on the mess of a stateroom. There is clothing _everywhere_. Two pairs of shoes at the foot of the bed are the only thing is remotely in any kind of tidiness. Last night was one heck of a night.

Kurt settles on tidying what he can and getting the room looking somewhat decent before Blaine gets back from wherever he is, but firstly he should probably put on some underwear…gosh, that would have been a sight if they had been in dock when Kurt had gone out onto the balcony butt naked. He hopes that their neighbours weren't out on the balcony and looking over as he went out, because he sees them almost every day and he might not be able to look them in the eye if they did.

He gets on some clean underwear and Blaine's shirt from last night, which is a little short in the sleeve length but it'll do for now; he's not wearing his silk shirt for tidying up. There's Blaine's bow tie hanging on the balcony door and Kurt honestly doesn't know how it didn't fall off when he went out because it's just barely hanging on. At least Kurt has decent aim, even when he's not trying. He doesn't think he could have gotten that to land in a better place than it did. It's that good Kurt grabs his cell phone and snaps a picture of it before he takes it down.

He tidies the rest of the room quickly and efficiently as always; he also wraps up the used condom from last night in almost a whole toilet roll and then throws it in the bottom of the trash, burying it behind some used tissue and wipes. He really doesn't want their stateroom attendant finding it by accident.

As soon as he's finished packing their used clothes into their suitcases like he has been doing since day one, the stateroom door opens and Blaine walks in, looking extremely casual in his shorts and polo, carrying two cups of coffee. He stops dead when he spots Kurt bent over the suitcase in still just black underwear and Blaine's white shirt which is unbuttoned to reveal his toned chest and stomach.

"I, um," Blaine clears his throat and hands Kurt a coffee cup. "Got you coffee, I thought it'd be a nice wake up, but you're already up, so…"

Kurt accepts the coffee, takes a glorious sip of it, feeling the warmth and caffeine run through his veins. "Thank you," he sighs and leans forward to brush his lips against Blaine's. Blaine, however, is a little reluctant to let go and curls his fingers through Kurt's hair, tugging him closer and deepening the kiss. Kurt parts his lips to allow Blaine's tongue to slide in and battle for dominance with his own. Blaine tastes of coffee and he's pretty sure he does too.

"I think I'm gonna take a shower," Blaine says as he pulls way panting and rests his forehead on Kurt's.

"You mind if I join you?" Blaine smirks and dips his head to bring Kurt's lips to his once again. By the time they finally pull apart, their coffees have gone cold – luckily Blaine finished most of his and Kurt drank literally half of his in that one sip he took – but neither of them are too fussed. Blaine pulls Kurt's bottom lip between his teeth and sucks on it for a few seconds before murmuring that they should get in the shower now. Kurt could not agree more and so let's Blaine lead him to the bathroom.

* * *

Blaine has Kurt shoved against the shower wall and is kissing him like he's never kissed him before. Blaine's leg is pushing between Kurt's legs, brushing against his arousal and causing him to shiver every now and again. "_Ah,_ Blaine," Kurt hisses with pleasure as Blaine nips, sucks and kisses his way down from Kurt's ear to his collarbone, not missing a single spot on that side of his neck. He then kisses his way across his collarbone to the other side of his neck where he continues his journey back up, along Kurt's jaw and then back to his lips once again.

Blaine is not letting up on his kissing at all. Kurt's not bothered about that though, but he is bothered about getting all wrinkly like a prune because they've been in the shower for well over half an hour. The first fifteen or so minutes were nice, as they were spent washing each other's hair, but it got serious when Blaine ran his soap covered hands down Kurt's chest and didn't stop until one had curled around his already half-hard cock.

All of a sudden there is a knock at their door. Blaine doesn't let up on his kissing, murmuring that they'll go away if no one answers into Kurt's stomach, because that's where he is now.

"Ah, no, Blaine, I need to get the door." Blaine mumbles something into the damp skin on Kurt's stomach and continues kissing and licking until Kurt has to shove him off. He pulls him up by his hair which makes Blaine scrunch his nose up and hunch his shoulders as he tries to pull away from Kurt's grasp. "You finish showering; you still have shampoo in your hair." Kurt smiles, running his fingers through Blaine's curls as he moves himself around the small shower space toward the shower door.

"I'm not sure whether that's shampoo," Blaine grins and settles back against the wall, letting the steaming water run over his head. Kurt pulls a face at him, bats his chest and then quickly slides out of the shower. He wraps a towel around his waist and leaves the bathroom after flattening his hair so it looks somewhat decent.

Lynn is lingering in the corridor, swaying on her feet, obviously waiting for someone to answer the door. Kurt unlocks the door, opens it, grabs Lynn's arm and tugs her inside. She yelps with surprise, but when she gets inside the room properly and looks up and down at Kurt's appearance, she smirks.

"And let me guess, Mr Anderson is in the shower?" Lynn giggles like a child and sits herself down on the couch, eyeing the unmade bed a few feet in front of her. "So, you guys had a good night last night." She takes in Kurt's ruffled appearance again. "And this morning, by the looks of it." Kurt rolls his eyes and wanders to the closet to pick out clothing for the day.

"Well, you don't seem to be willing to talk about it, so I'll just tell you what I came here to tell you-"

"Hey, I am willing to discuss whatever you want to Lynn, honestly, I literally have like no shame, but Blaine is in the shower and he is probably listening to every word we are saying-"

And on cue Blaine yells 'yeah I am', making Kurt sigh as he pulls out some linen shorts and Lynn laughs loudly.

"Okay, so when Blaine is with Jeff, me and you can have a girly chat about last night." There's a grunt from the shower and Kurt bangs on the door in retaliation. "But, as I was saying, Jeff and I are going to head into Croatia for like an hour or so. There's apparently some place that Jeff is just dying to see, don't ask because I don't know what it is, probably because I don't tend to listen to him." Kurt huffs out a laugh. "If you guys don't want to come, that's fine. We should be back before lunch so save us some seats?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure on if we're going or not yet. But will do, honey." He says, and the sound of the shower shuts off which means Blaine is on his way out.

"Oh, Mr Anderson," Lynn cat calls as Blaine steps out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, still dripping wet. "Don't you look lovely today?" Lynn giggles and makes her way over to Blaine who is grinning as he shakes his hair out. "Catch you boys later." And with that she leaves the room.

Somehow, during Lynn's little monologue, Kurt managed to get almost fully dressed, but Blaine is soon to change that, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around Kurt's middle, making his back all wet. "Oh, Blaine I just got dressed!" He complains. But Blaine's solution is to just get undressed. And so Kurt does.

* * *

They decide not to go into Croatia. In all honesty, they just want to spend some more time alone together. And that's fine by Lynn and Jeff, who do venture into the town – as Lynn said – but only for a couple of hours.

Kurt and Blaine decide on getting a late breakfast, probably because it's extremely late by the time they finally get off the bed and mange to get dressed successfully without having one or the other pull off an item of important clothing. They go up to the pool deck to the Windjammer café and grab some buffet style breakfast. Kurt loves the buffet - usually he's much more of a sit at a table and have your order taken, but being on this vacation has changed a lot of this about him in such a short space of time. He also cannot believe it's almost over. One more day on board the gloriousness that is the Independence of the Seas and then back home to New York.

They sit at a table for two near the front of the ship which harbors the floor to ceiling windows so they can look out into the Harbor. Their waiter from their dinner table in the restaurant is wandering around, serving people drinks, where they are sat and they end up talking to him for a while. He mentions to them that they seem happier, but then immediately apologizes and says it wasn't his place to be assuming something like that. Blaine has to reach out and pat the poor flustering guy on the back, and tell him not to worry, and that in fact it's true; Blaine is happier and so is Kurt. He then reaches across the small wooden table and takes hold of Kurt's hand, squeezing tightly.

After breakfast, Kurt and Blaine head out onto the pool deck, into the blistering sunlight, the smell of sun lotion and the sounds of kids screaming mixed with Hawaiian esc music, to find their usual sun loungers. Blaine actually manages to convince Kurt to sit out in the sun with him for a little while, only by the promise of rubbing sun block on him though. Kurt is sure he can take the sunlight for an hour or so, especially with the promise of Blaine topping up his lotion whenever he wants, which turns out to be about every ten minutes; give or take.

Four times Blaine chuckles whilst rubbing in the lotion on Kurt's pale skin – which, much to his dismay – is slowly but surely getting pretty tanned. When Kurt groans again and says his skin is burning, Blaine takes his hand and leads him to a nearby vacant table which happens to be in the cool shade. He orders them both a diet coke from the bar and they sit in silence, drinking their sodas and watching the world pass them by.

Kurt mentally reminds himself to tell his Dad about cruising. It is a definite for him. Burt loves relaxing vacations where he doesn't have to do anything, but sit on his ass all day, and if Kurt wanted to he could sit on his ass all day, too. For sure he'd love to do this again. Everything about sitting back and relaxing for a week, maybe even longer is appealing to Kurt, and during tough times like now it makes the idea so much more thrilling.

Kurt allows Blaine to head back into the sun after a few minutes of him being fidgety. Blaine always says the sun calls to him because of his naturally tan skin and his ability to never ever burn. But Kurt's actually happy to sit alone in the shade sipping what's left of his diet coke. From where he's sat, he has a good view in case Lynn and Jeff come back and he's also got a fabulous view of Blaine's ass from where he lays on his stomach on his lounger. Good times.

Lynn and Jeff manage to sneak up on Kurt and scare the living daylights out of him. Jeff appears at his side and tugs his headphones out of his ears just as Lynn grabs his shoulders and shakes him. Kurt yelps, which causes Blaine to look up startled and then grin like a five year old when he sees Lynn and Jeff and Kurt looking mildly distressed.

"Guys, let's not scare the shit out of Kurt," Blaine chuckles as he takes the seat next to Kurt and slides it closer and closer until he can rest his hand on Kurt's thigh.

"Oh but it's hilarious. He almost jumped out of his skin." Jeff laughs heartily, holding his hand to his chest when he takes a little bit too much of a deep breath and splutters until he regains his breathing skills again. "Wanna come watch the surfing in a while, Blaine? It's the adult one and I wanna see them fall on their arses." Blaine grins and agrees to Jeff's offer.

"So, how've you two been?" Blaine looks to Kurt, the corner of his mouth turning up in the crooked smile, one that reminds Kurt of the day Blaine proposed to him. He was so nervous and Blaine does that little smile when he's not quite sure what to say, but so desperate to say _something_, just to please if not anything else.

"We've been good; Blaine's been sitting in the sun for hours though." Kurt pouts.

"Oh I'm sorry; you were the one who made me rub lotion on you about twenty times." Lynn scoffs.

"Hey, at least you have someone willing to do that for you." She pats Kurt's shoulder and then turns on her husband. "Jeff never does that for me; usually it's me putting the sun cream on him." Kurt and Blaine chuckle as Jeff rolls his eyes at his wife.

"I'd put sun lotion on him if he asked, but he doesn't even need the stuff. He puts like factor four on and doesn't even burn, stupid Italian genes." Blaine side eyes Kurt because he knows for a fact that Kurt _loves_the Italian in him. Especially when he speaks it.

"Hey my Italian genes are great; my grandfather was in like, the mafia or something." That's a total lie, Blaine's grandfather was never in the mafia, but it's hilarious when Blaine and Cooper make up stories about their Italian relatives. Apparently, not only where they in the mafia, but they continue to say that The Godfather was based on their grandparents lives.

Jeff doesn't seem to believe Blaine either, but he laughs along with it. Lynn however jumps into a full blown conversation with Blaine about his grandfather and what it was like to live in Italy. Blaine's grandfather may have been born in Italy but he only lived there for like, ten years. But Blaine never passed up on an opportunity to gush about his grandfather, and in all honesty, Kurt couldn't deny his grandfather was pretty awesome. Despite being his Dad's Dad, Kurt found that Charles Anderson Senior was the kindest person ever. And that's something to Kurt because every Christmas spent with Blaine's family usually consisted of Kurt being ignored by a lot of them.

Blaine, still in deep conversation, obviously doesn't realize that his hand is slowly getting higher and higher on Kurt's leg and it's getting super distracting, Kurt doesn't want to have to stop Blaine in the middle of his discussion with Lynn, but if it gets any higher it is going to brush against something that Kurt really cannot explain in a public place.

"Blaine," Kurt hisses. "I love you and all, but can you not do that?" He briefly looks down to where Blaine's hand is resting in the crook of his thigh and then smiles to himself as Blaine slides his hand back down Kurt's leg.

"Sorry," Blaine murmurs and plants a sweet kiss on Kurt's lips.

"_O_h!" Lynn coos and smacks Jeff on the shoulder. "You never do that to me!" Jeff protests that he does, but Lynn is too busy watching Kurt and Blaine grin at each other as they Eskimo kiss. "You two are just the sweetest."

Unfortunately, her little endearing comment doesn't last in Kurt and Blaine's minds for all that long. Some jackass, of about six feet tall and six feet wide walks past them, sniggers to his friend and yells 'You stupid fags shouldn't be allowed on board. If I was the Captain, I'd throw you over!' Blaine's hand clenches into a fist on the material of Kurt's shorts. He pulls back and yanks his hand away, running his fingers through his hair and over the stubble on his chin – which is there because he didn't shave this morning – just like he does when he's annoyed or stressed.

"Hey, ignore them." Kurt leans over, but Blaine jerks back.

This always happens. Blaine gets a little defensive and usually causes some trouble, but thankfully the guys have gone now so Blaine can't say anything, but he can get distant again and Kurt really doesn't want that.

However, Kurt knows what Blaine's going to do. And that's box until he's utterly fatigued. So, when he abruptly stands up without saying a word to anyone, grabs his bag and stalks off, Kurt knows to leave him for half an hour and then go to the gym and find him in the boxing ring.

* * *

Kurt doesn't wait the usual time of thirty minutes until he goes to find Blaine; instead, after twenty minutes of worrying and twenty minutes of Lynn ranting on and on at him, he decides it best to get up and find his husband.

He leaves their shaded table and heads through the solarium toward the front of the ship where the gym is located. He finds him, not in the boxing ring because other people are practising, but on one of the punching bags nearby. He's not even wearing proper boxing gloves; he just has tape and thin white gloves around his wrists. Kurt wants to slap him silly; because Blaine knows full well that he could easily hurt his hands and never be able to perform on his guitar or piano again.

He knows Blaine is going through a tough time and things are more than likely getting to him much more than they normally would. But this is just crazy. Blaine has had insults thrown at him time and time again since he very first came out - surely he should be used to it by now? The world hasn't changed as much as they would have liked it to in the last ten years.

It's like he's still, after all this time and their make up yesterday, walking on egg shells around Blaine too much and without wanting to cause any more trouble between them, because things are still on thin ice between them. He needs to get it through to him that he can't continue like this. Things need to change if Blaine wants to get better and more so if he wants to get out of this hole he's dug for himself.

Kurt walks to the punching bag that Blaine is smacking the life out of and holds the other side steady so he can get more power behind his punches, even though he should be wearing real gloves for this.

"Honey," Kurt murmurs soothingly. Blaine eventually slows his punches and wraps his arms around the punching bag, the way he would if it was his opponent in the ring. He slumps against the bag and pants for his breath. His cheeks are flushed, his hair is in tight little ringlets and he's hugging the punching bag like it's his best friend. Kurt lets go of the bag and walks around to meet Blaine. There is no one else in the nearby vicinity, so he thinks Blaine will take it okay if he pulls him into his arms. "Calm down."

Blaine sniffles into Kurt's shoulder and nods. His arms come around Kurt's stomach tightly and hold onto him for dear life. Kurt honestly couldn't care less that Blaine is soaking his shirt with sweat; all he cares about is that Blaine is okay. And right now, he's not.

"I'm sorry," Blaine wipes his nose on Kurt's shoulder.

"What are you sorry for, baby?" Blaine shrugs, holding Kurt tighter as he does.

"You know, after all this time of being who I am you'd think I'd be used to the name calling and whatnot. And you know what, I am. If someone back home said something to me in the street I think I'd brush it off. But because of how isolated we are, and because you and I are only just getting things back on track and then some jackass has to go say what he said, I think it's affecting me more than it normally would." Blaine's getting more worked up by the second, and nothing Kurt is doing to help soothe him is helping. Blaine sobs into Kurt's shoulder as Kurt walks them backwards to the wall so he can rest his own weight against something, because despite Blaine being pretty small, he weighs a large amount – it's probably all muscle though, Blaine does not have one bit of fat on his body whatsoever.

"You cannot let this bother you, it happens honey, shit happens. We are going to work through all of our troubles and no one is going to be there to stop us. Nothing anyone can say can take away the amount of love we feel for each other." Kurt forces Blaine off of him so he can look at him in the eye. He holds him by his shoulders at arm's length and literally shakes him. "I love you Blaine, and no one is going to tell me that I can't. Because I do. I love you so, so much."

Blaine smiles at him through teary eyes and a forced expression, but Kurt knows it's as genuine as it can get for him right now. "I love you too." He collapses back into Kurt's arms and they just hold each other like that, swaying side to side like the sea does, and Kurt hums into Blaine's ear a tune that neither of them can really place but both know they know.

They stay like that until a group of people come into the gym and stare at them like they're weirdoes. Kurt grabs Blaine's stuff and takes him back to their stateroom where he showers and they spend the rest of the day curled up in bed together, watching movies, eating crap from room service, cuddling and doing other stuff you can do in bed. All in all it's a great day.

* * *

**Well things certainly seem to be looking up right?! ;)**

**Reviews welcome, as always! See you next week.**


	9. Venice

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry for not updating on time this week, I've not been well & there's been a lot going on!**

**But hey, better late than never right?**

**This is the basically the penultimate chapter, so next week will be my last update with this story! I'll do a long thank you & everything else when that happens! For now; enjoy!**

* * *

-**Part Nine**—

**Day Seven. Venice, Italy. August 27****th****2020.**

The final day of their vacation is upon them quicker than they ever could have imagined. It seems like only yesterday they first boarded the ship, still arguing with one another. Now they're leaving it more in love than ever. All in all, it's been a good trip. They've met some nice people, seen some nice places and eaten some nice food.

Kurt wants to do this again, maybe with all their family next time. That'll be good, he thinks. Burt, Carole, Finn, Rachel and Sophie, Blaine and himself. Yeah, that'll be awesome. Expensive, but awesome. Maybe even Cooper can come, but only because Kurt's feeling generous and Cooper helped them get on this trip in the first place.

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice echoes in his ears. He realizes that Blaine is in fact talking to him.

"Huh?" Blaine smiles at him and squeezes his knee.

"Lynn was talking to you." Blaine whispers in his ear. Kurt bites his lip and focuses his eyes on Lynn and Jeff across from them at the breakfast table.

"Sorry, Lynn. I'm a little out of it."

"Oh, that's fine honey! I was just asking you if it would be okay to get your contact details and keep in touch with you?" Kurt grins and nods enthusiastically. Lynn smiles back and writes down her and Jeff's details on a piece of paper she magically pulls from her purse, and then hands it over to Kurt and Blaine.

"That's mine and Jeff's landline number, our mobile numbers, and our address in case you want to send us anything. Can we have yours?" Lynn asks. Normally, Kurt would politely decline or even give her the wrong number or address, but he's really enjoyed his time with her, and she's been nothing but nice to both of them. He asks for a piece of paper and writes down all their details that she might need to know.

"What time is your flight home, guys?" Jeff asks.

Blaine answers this time as Kurt is drinking some of his orange juice. "Not until tomorrow. We're staying the night in London, actually. We fly to London just after midday and then we have a hotel near the airport for our flight back to New York tomorrow."

Lynn claps her hands excitedly, "I think we have the same flight time. Are you flying with British Airways?"

"Yeah, we are. But I think my brother booked us on first class."

"Wow, first class on a short flight, you guys must be loaded." Jeff laughs. Kurt almost feels bad, but he'd never give up his seat in first class for anything less any day. First class is a time where he can relax and just sit back; dwell on life for a little while. It's peaceful and calming, and nothing like economy. Even on his flights to Ohio, he always travels business class – they don't have a first class on smaller aircrafts.

"We're not that rich. My brother paid for all of this, he's an actor-ish." Kurt chuckles. Cooper _is_ an actor - he's actually a pretty good actor, and he's been in a lot of movies and TV shows and god knows what else. But ever since _Magic Mike_aired, Blaine has never been able to tell anyone that his brother is in a male stripper movie. It's just weird.

"Right, guys. Well I'd love to stay and chat with you, but we really should be heading back to our room and then going to the area where we depart. Our airport transfer is soon and we don't want to miss our flight home." Kurt agrees with Lynn, and he and Blaine make their way back to their stateroom, too. It's early, really early actually, a little after 6:30am, but they need to be up early to get to the airport. He'd like to have stayed in Venice, but Cooper said it was much more convenient for them to stay over in London than do two flights in one day again, especially because they are going to be super jet lagged when they get home. Good thing it's still summer for Blaine and he doesn't have to head back to work just yet.

"We'll see you guys whenever. If we don't see you at the airport have fun in London, it's amazing and have a good flight back to New York. It's been a pleasure meeting you." Lynn kisses them both on the cheek and hugs them tightly. Jeff and Blaine 'bro-hug' and he then moves onto Kurt, who offers his hand for him to shake but Jeff pulls him into a hug instead and causes them all to chuckle.

"It's been lovely meeting you too, I'm really sad this trip is over." Blaine pulls a frown and then blows Lynn a kiss as they part ways.

Kurt's sad the trip is over so soon too.

* * *

In the end, they haven't got the same flight as Lynn and Jeff, but really they're not fussed. By the time they reach the hotel in London, all they want to do is curl up on the bed and sleep anyway.

So they do. They arrive at the hotel for around 2pm and sleep off any weird jet lag they have. It's going to be as confusing as hell when they arrive back in New York tomorrow, Kurt suspects all they are going to want to do is sleep for about a week.

Kurt rouses from his slumber to Blaine's heavy body practically on top of his own. It's uncomfortable for him, but at the same time it's somewhat sweet and comforting in its only weird way. Blaine is snoring lightly on his chest, and Kurt is pretty sure there's a little patch of drool on his shirt. Thankfully, he's once again glad he didn't wear a super expensive shirt, that's easily ruined, to travel in. That's one thing with Blaine; he's like a six year old and takes every chance he gets to get a little messy and dirty. Kurt had to always be careful around him; he doesn't want any finger paint marks on his white silk shirts.

The alarm clock, well actually it's a docking station, on the night stand reads 4:30pm, so they've slept for around two and a half hours-ish. Kurt's okay with that, though he really wishes they didn't fall asleep in the clothes they have to spend eight hours on a plane wearing tomorrow, too.

In his attempts to wriggle free of Blaine, he ends up waking the man up. Blaine jerks upright and makes a strangled noise as his eyes come into focus and his senses start working properly again. Kurt smirks at his husband as Blaine digs the palms of his hands into his eyes and rubs, getting the sleep out and attempting to wake himself up a little more.

"Hey cutie," Kurt murmurs, his voice still croaky and sleep riddled. Blaine smiles at him and flings himself backwards into Kurt's chest with an almighty 'oomph'. "Oh, honey, no. Come on, we're getting up and heading into London to get some dinner. I am not being stuck in this hotel room for another hour. It's stuffy and I'll be having plenty of that tomorrow." Kurt tries, and fails, to push Blaine off him, but it appears Blaine has fallen asleep again; either that or he's miraculously gained a hundred pounds in a few seconds.

Blaine groans when Kurt finally manages to shove him onto his own side and he somehow regains consciousness quickly when Kurt makes his move to get up off the bed. Blaine pounces on his back and pulls him back into the mattress, Kurt yelps, but then Blaine is straddling his thighs, sitting up and running his hands down Kurt's chest, dipping into the collar of his shirt and tugging it down a little to expose more skin.

"Blaine, seriously, we can save this for later." Blaine doesn't say anything; he just dips his head and kisses the exposed skin under Kurt's shirt. He licks a wet stripe up Kurt's neck and then bites down hard just beneath his ear. Kurt writhes under Blaine's touch, his breath coming out in short puffs as he scrambles trying to find something to hold onto. Eventually, he settles for the back of Blaine's neck with one hand and the other dipping beneath the waistband of his jeans at the back, getting far enough down to squeeze his ass. Blaine groans into the sensitive skin on Kurt's neck and then drags his lips, teeth scratching against the skin. They reach up to Kurt's lips and plant a hard, wet kiss there, allowing Kurt to push his head into the kiss, and he parts his lips to allow Blaine more access to what he wants. And what he wants he damn well gets.

Safe to say they don't leave the hotel room for another hour. It might not have been what Kurt wanted at that moment, but he loved every second of it. And honestly, if he wasn't so worn out he probably would have gone for round two. Unfortunately, it was Blaine who decided that he was hungry and wanted to go and see London.

* * *

"This place is amazing!" Blaine yells as he skips around Kurt like an excited five year old. Kurt shakes his head at his husband, but holds his hand out for him anyway, allowing Blaine to take his hand and swing it between them like they used to do when they were sixteen and crazy in love. Honestly, Kurt's still pretty crazy in love. "We should come here like, all the time Kurt, and bring everyone we know!" Blaine squeezes the life out of Kurt's, but Kurt just giggles and lets Blaine continue with his inner monologue. "Like, I think Cooper would love this place, and Rachel would adore the West End. Oh my god, I wish we had time to see a West End musical, wouldn't that be amazing? What?"

Kurt can't help but smile widely at Blaine.

"Seriously Kurt, what?"

Kurt shakes his head. "Nothing, it's just," A thoughtful pause. "This is the first time in a long time I've seen you this happy. It's adorable and you should stay this way. Forever." Kurt taps Blaine's nose with his finger and watches Blaine's cheeks flush scarlet.

"I'm starting to feel happier, I mean obviously I'm not completely there yet, it's going to take some time but I'll get there. With your help." Kurt stops them in the street, not caring that they might be standing in people's way. London is pretty much like New York - there are weird people on the street all the time and everyone just tends to walk around them. He knows the British are different than the Americans, but they all seem to have somewhat similar norms.

"I will help you, every step of the way. You're everything to me, Blaine, I hope you know that." Kurt leans down as Blaine tilts his head up, their lips meeting in a gentle caress. Blaine tries to deepen the kiss just as some asshat barges into them and almost knocks Kurt flying. Blaine manages to keep a hold on him so all he does is sway a little on his feet, but it knocks them off their game nonetheless.

"Wow, this place is actually nothing like New York." Kurt grumbles as they set off walking again, hand in hand. Blaine smirks and swings their hands between them, scuffing his feet against the concrete every now and again, watching as people rush by them in a hurry to get wherever they are meant to be.

It's getting pretty dark out and to get back to their hotel it takes like, forty five minutes on the subway – oh sorry, _tube_– so they decide on heading back. It's probably going to be to super busy, but if they can handle New York subway stations during rush hour, Kurt's pretty sure they can handle London's.

They didn't even go out for a nice meal; instead, they walked down some random street, found a McDonalds and ate there. It was quicker and cheaper considering they didn't have all that much English money on them. The McDonalds in England is weird compared to American. The portions are much smaller, and Kurt thought getting a medium chicken sandwich meal would suffice his hunger; it really didn't so they had to get McFlurries afterwards.

By the time they find an underground station, it's almost 9pm and pretty dark out. Kurt's shocked to find the Subway not actually all that busy - it's reasonably empty for a Saturday night and he couldn't be happier about that. He gets to sit with Blaine for the first half of their forty five minute journey. The train starts filling though when they get off and cross over to the Victoria line, which is apparently the busiest of the lines. Well, that's what Kurt is making of it right now anyway. He managed to find a seat, but Blaine was made to stand in front of him, sandwiched between a guy who claims to be Albert Einstein re-incarnated and a girl who's dance music is so loud it's almost like they are having a party on the train.

Kurt can't help but snort when the train comes to an abrupt stop in one the stations and Blaine flies forward, knocking the woman's headphones out. This earns him a glare and a nudge, which in turn sends him crashing into Kurt, who manages to keep him upright by pushing his hands against his chest and holding him until he regains his balance. Blaine flicks Kurt's ear in retaliation, but giggles along with him until he is able to stand upright again and hold onto the overhead bar.

They finally reach their hotel after a super long underground ride and then an expensive taxi cab ride. They practically collapse onto the bed when they get to their room. Blaine turns the TV on but neither of them pay all that much attention to it as they undress and climb into bed together. Kurt makes sure to set his alarm on his phone for the time they need to be up in order to get ready and be at the airport in time for their flight.

Just as he's about to turn out the light, Blaine reaches across and grabs his hand, twining their fingers together and settling their hands in Kurt's lap.

"Can we just talk for a little while?" Blaine asks, hesitantly.

Kurt nods and settles back, allowing Blaine to curl into his side and nuzzle his nose into Kurt's neck. "What do you wanna talk about?" He asks.

Blaine shrugs his shoulders and kisses the skin of Kurt's shoulder. "Anything." He says.

"Okay." That leaves him with a lot of options. So he starts with the most obvious, and the one he's been wanting to ask for a while. "Did you have a good vacation then?"

Blaine chuckles and nuzzles his nose into Kurt's neck again. "Despite everything, yeah I did."

Kurt can feel Blaine's voice vibrating against his neck and it gives him shivers down his spine. "I mean, at the start there was a lot of shit between us, and it only took five days to sort it out, well obviously longer than that, but you get what I'm saying," Blaine laughs and Kurt nods, he does get it. "But now we're on the road to recovery, I'm feeling better, happier even and you seem happier too."

"I'm happy because you're happy." He interrupts. "I've been sad and down all this time because you've been sad and down, it's like we're connected in some freaky way." Blaine hums in agreement – well, at least Kurt thinks it's agreement – and then snuggles further down into the bed and tangles his legs with Kurt's. Kurt winces when Blaine's icy cold toes touch his feet and they play footsie for a while, Blaine giggling every time Kurt slaps him lightly on the stomach for running his toes too high up Kurt's leg.

All of a sudden Blaine comes to an abrupt stop. "I'm getting better Kurt and I promise you, I will _be_better."

"I know you will. Because I'll be there right beside you, helping you get through it. And so will Cooper, and Rachel and Finn and even Sophie. And you know what; I think your Dad might be coming around to it all." Blaine scoffs, but stays silent, thinking over what Kurt said.

"I love you." He finally settles on after a good ten minutes of silence.

"I love you too." Kurt twists his head and pecks Blaine's curls.

"Can I tell you something?" Blaine utters just as Kurt starts to lean over and turn the light off again. Kurt pauses his movements and looks back to Blaine. "You know, the reason I was going to break it off with you," he gulps, "was because I couldn't stand fighting with you. I'd rather not have you at all if we weren't in love any more." Kurt almost bites his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood to stop him from crying. Instead, he leans over and pulls Blaine into his arms, hugging him to his chest tightly and planting soft kisses all over his hair and forehead. "I never want to argue with you again, I want to make a pact with you." Kurt arches his eyebrow. "Especially because I want to have kids with you someday." That actually makes Kurt's breath hitch and tears form in his eyes. Blaine pecks his lips lightly, but then continues. "I want us to agree, and shake on it, that we are never to fight in front of our kids. If we are angry with one another, we take a couple of hours to cool off, get everything right in our heads, then come back to each other and talk it out."

"I can get on board with that." Kurt nods. "But do we have to shake on it?"

Blaine frowns. "Why not? Are you not going to stick to it?"

"No, not at all. Of course I'm going to stick to it," Kurt smirks and pushes Blaine down into the mattress, hovering over him. "I have a better way to _seal the deal_." And with that he flicks the light out and covers Blaine's mouth with his own.

* * *

"Hey! They're home!" Cooper exclaims, and rushes toward Kurt and Blaine as they enter the apartment, dragging their luggage behind them and looking positively worn to the bone. Cooper pulls them both into a big hug and then looks at them questioningly, as if to say 'how is everything? Have you guys made up now?'

Kurt gestures down to their intertwined fingers and brings their hands up to lay over his chest. Cooper beams with happiness and chirps; "Rachel, you can come out now, they're all happy again!"

Blaine shakes his head at Cooper, but then allows Rachel to emerge and pounce on them all; literally jumping on Cooper's back and leaning over to hug Kurt and Blaine.

"So," she begins, drawing out the 'so' to make it more of a song. "Did you guys have a nice vacation? What where all the places like? Was the ship nice? Oh, was the room nice? Cooper said he couldn't get a better one, I hope it was okay for you. Wa-"

Cooper slams his hand over Rachel's mouth, muffling the rest of her speech and causing her eyebrows to knot together. She slumps and puts her hand on her hip whilst Cooper speaks, still keeping his hand swiftly covering her mouth.

"Now, we'd obviously love to chat and what not, but we'll get out of your hair for now. You guys have had a long flight and need some rest. Catch you later." Without even getting his jacket he drags Rachel, hand still over her mouth, out of the door. Kurt can hear them arguing on the other side when the door closes behind them, but he really doesn't give a damn. Instead, he drags his luggage inside and dumps it in the living room, not bothering to unpack yet - too much washing, too much sorting, overall just too much to do. And he's way too tired.

Blaine puts his case next to Kurt's and then pulls him into a tight hug, swaying them side to side.

"Are you happy to be home?" Blaine asks him, murmuring the words into his neck. Kurt sighs into Blaine's hair and snuggles into his body a little better. He walks them as a unit toward their bedroom, bumping the door with his ass and then dragging them backwards until his knees hit the bed and Blaine falls on top of him with an 'oomph'.

Blaine snuggles into Kurt, but Kurt pulls him further up the bed and wraps his arms around his husband in their own bed, something he's not done in months.

"I'm happy to be home with you."

Blaine sighs. "Hmm, me too."

They fall asleep like that, snuggled up together, holding each other. Without even getting undressed.

And that's also how Cooper finds them a few hours later.

* * *

**Well this might seem like a good way to end, but nope! I don't like to be all nice ;)**

**Stay tuned guys for next weeks final chapter! And some unexpected happenings!**

**Reviews welcomed :D**


	10. New York, New York

**I feel so bad about not updating on time, yet again. But it's been a hectic week & it's only Wednesday :( But hey; glee tomorrow!**

**Anyway, so this is the last chapter, I won't keep you for long! Enjoy :)**

* * *

-**Part Ten**—

**One year and five months later. New York City, January 2022.**

"Guys, people are going to be arriving any time, and Kurt hasn't even been through whatever skin crap he has to go through yet. Will you get out of that damn bed and put some freaking clothing on? It feels weird me being out here, setting everything up, whilst you're doing what you're doing, and I _know_ what you're doing." Cooper's voice echoes through their bedroom door after three quiet knocks sounded a few seconds before.

It's cute really, how Cooper acts around them. He acts like a big tough guy that can take the piss out of their sex lives most of the time, when really he's a little softie who cringes at the sight of them kissing one another because 'ew PDA'. Kurt only thinks he doesn't like PDA because he's just broken up with his girlfriend, which is exactly why Kurt and Blaine have started kissing and cuddling in front of him all the time.

Really, it's his own fault for selling his apartment and choosing to live with them last year. Kurt could understand Cooper moving in right after the accident with his and Blaine's Mom, and even staying for a while afterwards and then eventually coming home from work one day to tell them that he's sold his apartment and is moving in with them whilst Blaine finishes counselling. Blaine finished counselling four months ago and Cooper's still living with them.

Though most of the time it's super frustrating especially, because Cooper likes to walk in on them at the completely wrong times. Like last week, he walked in on Kurt just getting out of the shower - why Cooper was in Kurt's en-suite he'll never know, but it was a shock to his system, and it made it worse when Cooper just stood there, _staring_. He also walked in on them a few days ago during sex, and wow, that was so awkward. Cooper didn't even knock on their door; he just walked in just as Blaine yelled out Kurt's name as his orgasm hit him. Cooper didn't even look fazed. Kurt was mortified and so was Blaine in all honesty. Blaine hasn't actually been able to look his brother in the eye for most of the week.

Yesterday, Kurt invested in a lock for their bedroom door. Best invention ever.

But right now Cooper seems to have forgotten about the lock on their door and is trying to open it by twisting the door knob furiously.

"Guys please get a move on!" He cries through the door.

Blaine removes his lips from Kurt's with a loud smack and then picks up the nearest thing to them on the bed and aims it right at the door. Whatever it is hits the wooden door with a bang that echoes through the room. Cooper groans from the other side and his footsteps can then be heard stomping off in the opposite direction.

Kurt would be mad at Blaine for throwing something across their room but right now, with Blaine practically covering his whole body, his lips devouring Kurt's own, Kurt couldn't give a crap.

"As much as I would love to continue this," Blaine pulls back, panting for breath and resting his forehead against Kurt's. "Cooper's right. People are going to be arriving and we've basically just left Coop to sort everything out all afternoon. God knows what our apartment looks like." Kurt sighs and puckers his lips, arching his back allowing himself to meet Blaine's lips one more time before Blaine scrambles off of him and heads to their en-suite. Kurt enjoys the view of a very naked Blaine walking away from him and then closes his eyes just to bask in the warmth of their bed.

They literally, since they woke up this morning just after 9:30am, haven't moved from their bed. Cooper has been knocking on their door and calling their cell phones and shouting them all morning and afternoon, but neither of them really wanted to move.

Today is the day of Kurt's big unveiling of his Spring/Summer fashion line. He's excited but nervous at the same time. It's almost 3pm and the show starts at 6pm until late. Then, afterwards, instead of going to his own after party he's bringing all his friends back to his apartment and they are having a party of their own. Lynn and Jeff are invited, too; they emailed Kurt a few weeks ago and told him they had booked to come to New York for a week. It just so happened to fall this week and so Kurt invited them along to his fashion show. He has never, okay with the exception of Rachel, seen an email with so many exclamation marks.

Lynn and Jeff arrived in New York at midday and they've just been settling into their hotel and wandering around the City for the last few hours. Cooper is supposed to be picking them up soon, so hopefully when Kurt starts to get ready Cooper will finally be out of his hair, even though he's not seen his brother-in-law all day.

"Hey you, get up." Blaine reappears from the bathroom; unfortunately, he's now wearing a towel around his waist.

"I know, I know. I'm moving." Kurt heaves himself up and throws the sheet off. Instead of making his way to the bathroom though, he takes a little detour to where Blaine is bent over getting his underwear from the draws. Kurt wraps his arms around him from behind, his own naked body pressing up against Blaine's damp back. Blaine straightens up and sighs loudly.

"Baby, you have work to go to, and we have a party to host in a few hours. And honestly, Cooper is going to snap at us any moment." As if Cooper was pressed up against the door listening through a glass, there's another bang on their door and then a shout from the other side. It sounds like Cooper's hurt himself. "Go shower, I'll take care of the douchebag." Kurt chuckles and plants a kiss on Blaine's neck, before wandering off to the bathroom.

He showers, styles his hair, brushes his teeth and dries himself off as quickly as possible. By the time he makes his way back out to the bedroom, Blaine is nowhere to be seen. Kurt decides on getting dressed instead of looking for his MIA husband - he's probably fixing whatever Cooper ruined in the living room anyway.

Just as he's pulling his underwear on, the bedroom door opens and he yelps loudly, because honestly, if he looks up and it's Cooper he's going to have a body to dispose of. It's not Cooper. Thankfully, it's just Blaine and smirks at him from the doorway and then picks up his damp towel that's on the floor by his feet and folds it neatly before tossing it in the laundry. Really there was no reason to fold it and then just dump it in the laundry basket, but apparently over the years Blaine has acquired some weird OCD thing with folding clothing.

"You know, considering Cooper was the one that has been working on getting our apartment sorted all morning, he's done a pretty good job." Kurt quirks his eyebrow at his husband, because _really,_this is Cooper they are talking about and he tends to be a hell of a lot more clumsy than Blaine is. And Blaine could trip over his own two feet whilst watching them as he walks in a straight line.

"I'm shocked," Kurt remarks, standing up and stretching his arms above his head.

"You look it." Blaine grins and then proceeds to make up the bed whilst Kurt continues getting dressed.

"Is that what you're wearing?" Kurt asks as Blaine is leant over the bed sorting out the pillows and Kurt is pulling on his suit pants.

"What's wrong with this?" Blaine steps back and gestures to his body, running his fingers down his tie.

"Nothing, it's just a little bland. You'll blend in and I really want you to stand out, you know. I want everyone to know that you're my husband. I think we should color co-ordinate." Blaine lets out a breathy laugh and walks around the bed to pull at the other end of the sheet.

"Okay, so what should I change into?"

"Hm…" Kurt ponders whilst pulling on his crisp white shirt and buttoning it up before tucking it into his light grey pants. "Well, I'm wearing a block purple tie, so I think you should wear a purple shirt, maybe not the same shade. Oh, you could wear my light purple shirt," Kurt's about to rummage in his closet for said shirt when Blaine holds his hand out to stop him.

"Honey, as much as you think it's adorable that we occasionally share clothes, that's only because most of your old shirts fit me perfectly well and I wear them to sleep in. We're like two sizes different, I'm tiny and you have much broader shoulders than me." Blaine climbs up onto the bed and kneels, crossing his ankles behind him and wrapping his arms around Kurt's stomach, pulling him toward him. "I'm sure I can find a shirt of my own that matches your description."

Kurt pouts and leans forward to kiss Blaine square on the mouth. "Okay," he resigns. "I guess I'll just have to find a way to get you in that shirt, because it barely fits me any more and I would love to see you in it." Kurt lowers his voice and nips at Blaine's bottom lip. He pulls Blaine closer to him using the collar of his shirt and deepens their kiss.

"Mm," Blaine sighs into the kiss, before pulling back and speaking. "Well, maybe you might get lucky tonight. You never know, you could see me in _and_ out of that shirt in the space of an hour." Kurt runs his hands up and down Blaine's back before slapping his ass with both his hands.

"I'll look forward to it." Kurt murmurs before pressing his lips to Blaine's one last time, then breaking apart to head back to his closet to finish getting dressed. "But at least try and find a colored shirt that matches mine to a degree."

Blaine barks out a laugh and then collapses backwards onto the freshly made bed, messing it up again.

* * *

Applause sounds, and Kurt is just basking in the limelight. He loves every minute of the applause, because it's for _him_. It's for all his hard work, all those late nights. All the time spent drawing designs and then scrapping them the same day. All the times that Blaine has had to pull his sketch pad or his laptop away from him just to allow Kurt to get some rest.

There's a spotlight on him and he's bowing without even realizing it to the crowd in front of him who are still continuously clapping, lapping for him. And wow, he will never be able to get used to that feeling.

A model appears at the side of him with a microphone and he accepts it from her, smiling widely and then turning his attention back to the audience. It's hard to make out any faces in the audience due to the spotlight that is shining right in his eyes, but he looks around the room regardless.

There are so many people here. Kurt did not expect this kind of outcome. Guess that's what you get for working at Vogue for three years. There are even famous designers here. He can spot his old boss sat in the front row, smiling proudly at him. He thinks he can even spot Marc Jacobs sat on the opposite side – Marc _freaking _Jacobs – Kurt is in way too over his head.

He taps the microphone a few times to check that it's switched on and then clears his throat.

"Hi everyone," he laughs nervously, his eyes darting around looking for the one person he knows he can count on to cheer him up and make him less nervous. He spots Blaine looking up at him, grinning like a fool, and nodding for him to continue.

"Thank you all so much for coming out tonight! When I invited this many people, I honestly did not expect even half of you to turn up, so thank you, it really means the world to me that you took time out of your busy schedules to see some new designer parade his clothes on a runway. You probably have enough of that every day." There are a few quiet chuckles of laughter around the room and Kurt smirks down to the ground, plucking up the courage to just get on with his speech. "Now, I have to thank a lot of people, so bear with me. Um, for starters I couldn't have gotten to where I am without the staff at Vogue, and my amazing ex-boss and brilliant friend, Isabelle Wright." Kurt searches for Isabelle and smiles at her as she smiles up at him, blowing him a kiss. "Everyone that worked with me and put up with me whilst making this line, thank you all so much. You've have to put up with some serious crap from me, so you know I'm just glad you stuck with it." More laughter.

He seeks out Blaine, who hasn't stopped smiling at him this whole time and focuses this next part directly on him. "Thank you all to my family and close friends who have also had to put up with me for so long. But there's one person who has been there for me day in, day out, without fail. He's been my guiding light through all of this and I really don't know what I would have done without him. He has his own job, but he's put so much time aside for me and I could not thank him enough. So, this is dedicated to my husband, the love of my life, Blaine Anderson, you are my world and this would not have happened without you by my side. Thank you, baby." Kurt blows a kiss to Blaine who pretends to catch it and hold it to his heart.

Cooper is the first to start clapping, Isabelle follows. Blaine claps the loudest and then everyone else in the room once again erupts into applause and Kurt takes another bow.

"Enjoy the free alcohol guys!" He yells before running off stage, passing the models getting undressed backstage. He runs all the way out into the seating area and runs straight into the waiting arms of Blaine, who picks him up, spins him around and then kisses him hard on the mouth.

They get interrupted a few minutes later by Lynn and Jeff, who both look stunning and impeccably styled and…hold on a second is that? "Is that one of my designs?" He questions, utterly confused because there is no way Lynn could have gotten this dress.

"I hope you don't mind. Blaine sent it to me after I asked him about what kind of surprise I could get you for such an amazing achievement." Kurt shakes his head and pulls Lynn into a tight hug.

"I don't mind at all. It's a lovely surprise and it looks so good on you! The color and everything." He turns to Blaine. "Good eye for fashion honey." Blaine smirks and tugs Kurt closer, planting a kiss on Kurt's shoulder.

"I love your shirt Blaine; it goes well with Kurt's tie. You two are an absolute stunning couple." Isabelle says as she stops in front of them and pulls them each into a light hug, kissing both of their cheeks. She apologizes for having to leave so early, but Kurt's not fussed, he's just so glad she managed to come.

"See, I told you. We complement each other perfectly." Kurt murmurs into Blaine's ear and grins when Blaine involuntarily shivers.

"Anyway," Cooper appears behind them and squeezes between them, his arms hanging over their shoulders. "So, can we head back to our apartment and get drunk now? I mean, this free bar is great and all, but it's better when there are people I know and can talk to. All these people here are scary, man, they keep glaring at me."

"Maybe it's because of that awful shirt you're wearing Cooper. Who even let you out of the apartment with that on?" Blaine grins and holds his hand up for Kurt to high five. Cooper grumbles something and then wanders of, trying to find a girl that will actually speak to him without looking at him funny.

"Let's go gather our troops and head back home." He shouts to Blaine, because the music has just been turned up and the runway is slowly turning into a nightclub.

* * *

It's almost midnight and everyone in Kurt's apartment is pretty wasted. Rachel and Finn are hanging all over each other, Lynn and Jeff are laughing heartily with Kurt's neighbors, apparently bonding over how hilarious kids are. Cooper is chatting up some model that he brought back to the apartment and Blaine is missing yet again.

Kurt's tie is hanging loose around his neck, because it's getting extremely hot in the apartment, but he doesn't want to open a window in case their music is too loud and people across the street will hear it and complain. And Kurt really doesn't want to have a complaint against him. He really loves this apartment and doesn't fancy the idea of being kicked out due to noise until the early hours of the morning.

He's defending the kitchen area, handing out drinks to those to ask for more, when Blaine returns, no longer wearing his tie or suit jacket, and the first few buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned, revealing the fine chest hair he pulls off so well. Kurt never thought he'd be into chest hair, because he's literally hairless in any areas other than his head, but Blaine's chest hair really does it for him and wow, it's suddenly just gotten ten times hotter in this room.

"Hey gorgeous," Blaine nudges Kurt's hip with his own, his warm breath tickling Kurt's neck, and yeah Blaine's pretty drunk. His breath stinks of alcohol and he's swaying a little on his feet. He's also super handsy – which is something Kurt should be used to by now but in front of a crowd of people, that he is good friends with, isn't really the best place for Blaine to get handsy– and that's just another sign that Blaine is way too far gone and there's nothing that will bring him back to anything near remotely sober.

"Hello to you too," Kurt decides to just go along with it.

Blaine begins to head over to the fridge where the beer is and Kurt manages to stop him just in time. "Ah, no honey." He pushes the fridge door closed. "You've had enough for tonight. How about we just lay off the alcohol for a while?" Just because there's no way that Blaine will be getting sober tonight, that doesn't mean keeping him away from alcohol will do him any harm.

Blaine pouts like a child, but Kurt is having none of it. Those puppy dog eyes are not working on him tonight. No way.

"There you are!" Thankfully Kurt's attention is pulled away from Blaine so he can't be influenced by the puppy dog eyes any longer. "Blaine," Lynn snaps her fingers so that Blaine will look at her, because right now he's desperately trying to remove Kurt's hand from the front of the fridge. He stops when he hears his name called for a second time, though.

"Blaine, your brother is really, _really_ drunk and I don't want him to break something. He's jumping all over the chairs and stuff." Kurt rolls his eyes, because for god sakes, he wanted a nice night but no, both of the Anderson brothers had to get completely drunk off their faces and wreck Kurt's apartment.

"I'll g-go sort him." Blaine slurs his words a little but untangles himself from Kurt and wanders to the living where Cooper is apparently jumping about like a crazy person.

"I haven't had chance to talk to you all night, how are you darling?" Lynn settles beside Kurt, leaning against the kitchen counter, still nursing the same glass of wine she's had for most of the night. At least one person here knows how to manage their alcohol intake.

"I'm good Lynn, I'm great actually. It's been a fun but hectic night. How about you?"

"Oh we're fine, enough about our boring lives. What about you guys? Are you guys doing okay? Is everything good?" Kurt knows exactly what Lynn is talking about. It might have been over a year since their vacation together, but that doesn't mean Kurt has forgotten about the events of that cruise vacation.

Kurt steps forward to lean his elbows on the kitchen counter and watch the events in the living room. Cooper is being told off by Blaine, who appears to be gesturing dramatically in the direction of Kurt. "Yeah, we're good. Actually, we've never been better. It's been a long and difficult road, but we made it and we came out even stronger at the end." Lynn appears at his side again and leans against the counter too, finally having finished her wine.

"I'm glad. You seem a lot happier. I mean, I know I haven't seen you both in over a year, well apart from over Skype, but that's different, your faces are all pixel-y." Kurt sniggers. "But yeah, I know this is a big night for you and all but you just seem really happy. And honestly, so does Blaine."

Kurt's face softens as Cooper pulls Blaine into a headlock and scrubs at his head, making it so his hair is shaken up and some of his curls fall loose from the hair gel. Laughter echoes from the living room as Blaine tries to fight back against his brother, who is not only a hell of a lot stronger than him, but also buries him height wise.

"Blaine is the best I've seen him in a while. I don't think we're fully back to normal yet, but we're getting there. And he's improving so much. I'm so proud of him." Lynn rubs her hand up and down Kurt's back.

"You should be. He's been through a lot, then again, so have you, and to come out of all that stronger and better than before is a huge thing." Kurt blinks a few times, turning his head slowly to meet Lynn's gaze. He leans in and presses a light kiss to her cheek.

"Thank you Lynn, you always know the right thing to say."

Lynn is about to reply when Cooper yells Kurt's name. "Yo, Kurt! Midget has something to say to you!"

"God, it gets on my nerves when he calls him midget." Kurt grumbles under his breath and makes his way over to where the crowd of guests have mingled around Cooper and Blaine.

"What is it, honey?" Kurt asks Blaine, who looks like he's sobered up a lot, which is a good thing.

Blaine takes hold of Kurt's hand, drops to one knee and looks up at his husband. Kurt's utterly confused, his mind is flashing back to the day that Blaine dropped to one knee over four years ago now and asked Kurt to marry him.

"Baby," Blaine begins. "I know this must be weird to you, because well we're already married, but someone very close to me suggested this idea a few weeks ago and I've been planning for it ever since. As you know, earlier this month they made gay marriage legal in Ohio, and I wanted to know if you would like to get married to me – again – in your home town."

Kurt's eyes widen, because seriously? Blaine is proposing to him _again_!

"It doesn't have to be a big ceremony, just me, you, your family." He's obviously still a little drunk, because he has to pause every few words. "We can renew our vows, because I really feel like, after everything we've been through this past year, we deserve a break." Kurt can hear people sniffling around him, but when he feels a tear run down his cheek he realizes it's just him crying.

"So, Kurt Hummel, will you marry me? Again." Blaine remains on his knee as Kurt bursts into laughter and then drags him up by his collar and kisses him hard on the mouth.

"Of course I'll marry you again; I'd marry you a hundred times over if I could!" The room erupts into cheers and laughter, and Blaine spins Kurt around a few times before dipping him and then kissing him fiercely.

"Thank you," Kurt murmurs against his husbands lips.

"No, thank you. You changed my life and I have no doubts that you will continue to do so for many years to come. I love you so much Kurt."

"I love you, too." Kurt's arms tighten around Blaine's neck as Blaine pulls him up. Someone starts a slow song and they sway softly with the beat of the music.

Just like they did at their wedding four years ago.

And just like they will do again. In Lima, Ohio.

Blaine's right, Kurt thinks, they have been through a lot this past year and they do deserve one hell of a break. And it doesn't matter that he and Blaine are already married. This wedding is going to be the start of something new for the both of them.

"I just wish my Mom could be here to see this," Blaine whispers into the skin of Kurt's neck.

"She will be. She'll always be here, Blaine." Kurt lays their intertwined hands over Blaine's heart and squeezes his husband's fingers tightly, because no matter what Mrs Anderson will _always_ be with Blaine, and Cooper too. And even Kurt. She loved them all dearly and just because she isn't with them any longer does not mean that has changed in the slightest.

* * *

-**Westerville, Ohio, Christmas. 2022.**-

When Burt decided that this year they all needed to be together as a family – which included Cooper, unfortunately – and invited them all to stay over the Christmas holidays, Blaine thought it was a brilliant idea.

It might have been at the time, but looking back on it now, he really wished he hadn't come back to his hometown.

On Christmas Eve he told Kurt that he was going out for a few hours because his Father wanted to see him. He should have known going back to his childhood home without Kurt would have been difficult. Stepping through that front door caused Blaine to want to puke there and then. He hadn't been back to this house since his Mom's funeral two years ago. It still smelt like her perfume. How his Father lived here alone baffled him.

He also should have known that his Father would be the class A douchebag he always is. But even with his Father's forced friendliness and his Grandparents (his Mom's parents) asking him if he's found a lovely wife and gotten over his 'phase' yet, he can't think of anything else but his Mom, who isn't with them for Christmas yet another year. He misses her so damn much and it hurts every bone in his body to be in the house.

Really, it's rude to be taking his Father into the kitchen and telling him he can't stand it here any more, especially because it's only a little after 5pm. Blaine knows his Dad is trying, he really is, and it's great to see him working so hard, even if it is a little – okay a lot – fake.

His Father expresses how rude it is for Blaine to be leaving so soon, but Blaine just cannot deal with his house any more. It just doesn't feel right. There's something missing.

Blaine's Father allows him to go, but he tells him not just yet, he needs to get something for him – a Christmas present, he explains – and then disappears up the stairs. In the meantime, Blaine bids goodbye to his Grandparents and waits by the front door for his Father.

"I was supposed to give you this long ago, but I just didn't have the heart. I think now is a good time," His Father pants as he comes running down the stairs crying a yellowing envelope in his hand. "I know this might be upsetting for you to hear, or read, but I gave Cooper his when he came to visit at Thanksgiving and well, he seemed happy with it."

Blaine takes the envelope from his Father's grasp and turns it over. On the front is his name beautifully etched in his Mother's scrawl. Tears brim over his eyes.

"It's a letter your Mother wrote you to on your, um, your wedding day." Well, at least he didn't stutter with the word wedding this time.

But a letter. From his Mom. Written to him. On his wedding day. Why hadn't she given this to him already?

"We made a pact, we both wrote you boy's letters, on that day, and she made a pact with me. If she died before me I have to give this to you, and vice versa." Blaine's Dad steps closer to him and holds his arms out awkwardly. It's almost as if he's trying to give Blaine a hug.

His breath catches in his throat as his Father closes his distance between them and wraps his son in his arms. Something he hasn't done in years. Not even at his Mom's funeral did his Dad hug him. "It's cold out, get wrapped up. There's only one place she'd want you to read that, and it's where she's nearest you."

Blaine knows exactly what his Dad means and he is so glad Kurt made him bring his bobby hat and gloves.

"Thank you, Dad." Blaine says as he hugs his Dad tightly, keeping the letter in a death grip in his hand.

"Have a good Christmas son, and um, we're having a little News Years get together, I was wondering if you, Kurt and the Hummel's might want to join us this year?" Blaine almost chokes on his own breath.

He pulls back from his Dad, sensing that the length of their hug is a little too much too soon.

"That's lovely Dad, thank you. I'll see what Kurt says. Have a good Christmas too, Dad." And with that Blaine opens the front door and jogs out into the cold snowy Westerville streets.

* * *

He realizes it might be a little morbid and depressing to be sat on the snow in a Cemetery, alone. But this is the best place to be do this. The place he's closest to his Mom.

He settles down, wiggling his ass so that the snow melts away. He's going to have a cold, wet ass by the time he stands up again, but ah, who gives a shit. It'll be worth it, he just knows it will.

The sound of the letter opening is the only sound in the quiet place, not even birds are about – probably because it's snowing again and icy cold. When he pulls out the contents, he's shocked to find that it isn't paper. In fact, it's a bunch of napkins, numbered from one to five. He drops the envelope to the ground beside him, beside the holly wreath he bought on his way here, which rests propped up against his Mom's grave.

He takes a deep breath, turns the first napkin over and begins reading.

_Blaine,_

_If you're reading this, it means that I am no longer with you. _

_I decided to write this letter to you, on one of the best days of my life. The day that I saw my baby boy so happy__that__it actually made your Father cry._

_I have honestly never seen you happier than today.__Your smile reaches each ear and beyond. Nobody can wipe that grin off your goofy face and it's making me tear up just thinking about it. _

_You're sitting beside your new husband, holding his hand as Cooper makes a ridiculous toast, probably something worth listening to, but unfortunately I am too preoccupied with staring at your face to be bothered by what your crazy brother has to say. It's probably things a Mother doesn't need to know about her son anyway._

_Today is the day you married Kurt Hummel, the love of your life. And he really is, isn't he? You love him with everything you've got and that's a wonderful, glorious thing. Never, ever lose that. That man means the world to you, and you mean the world to him.__That's something you will take with you to your grave, a__feeling that you will never lose, ever, because it's so strong and potent._

_I know what that feels like. I know exactly what that feels like. Your Father may not be nice to you most of the time, but he tries, he really does. And believe it or not he was different before you were born, much different. He was happy, loving, caring and kind, everything that you are now. And I know you might not like to hear it, but you are more like him than you know, but, obviously, all the good things about him._

_Cooper just made a joke about your sex life and wow did I not want to know that. Your Father is squeezing my hand so__tightly;__it's making me want to burst into laughter. He really doesn't know what to do._

_You look amazing by the way. And so does Kurt._

_The way that boy looks at you, that's the way your Father used to look at me. He's looking at you right now, you know, and you're too busy shaking your head at your idiot of a brother to notice. I've observed that,__you know, he looks at you when you're not looking at him, and that stare, the glaze that covers his eyes, I've seen it all before. It's a wonderful look to have. It's like a pregnant__glow, except without the pregnancy, obviously._

_Okay, now I'm rambling a little, and writing this on a napkin too! How crazy is that?_

_Anyway, back on subject; you, and Kurt, the love that you share._

_I hope that I'm around to see that love for many, many years to come. And honestly, I cannot wait until you have__kids;__grandchildren have always been a desire of mine. I'd spoil them rotten, just like I spoiled you two boys. I probably shouldn't have, but you two turned out well enough,__didn't you?_

_Are you planning on having children? Oh I hope you are Blaine, you'll be a wonderful Father!__You and Kurt both.__You'll for sure be the Daddy that spoils you're children, the fun loving Dad. I can just see Kurt now; dressing them in designer clothes and taking them into Vogue to show them off._

_That's if he even works at Vogue. I don't think he'll be there much longer. He's going to have his own clothing line, that boy is. And when he does I want free clothing all the time. You tell him that!_

_It's time for my speech soon, I hope you like it. It took me a while._

_Anyway, I'm going to tune back into Cooper's speech now, he is your brother, and my son,__so__I probably should listen to him._

_I love you Blaine. You've been through a lot of crap in your life and when you came home that day, unable to wipe the smile off your face, I remember asking you if you'd met someone. And your answer was yes._

_You didn't tell me about Kurt right away, I think you were scared. I remember that was the day that you couldn't stop singing Teenage Dream by that Katy Perry. I really love that song. I hope they play it tonight._

_Have a wonderful, happy life Blaine. I had one, now it's your turn._

_Xoxo__– Mom._

* * *

**And that's it! Finished!**

**I just want to say; thank you, as always, for the amazing response to this story. I adored writing it & I loved all your reviews, follows, favorites, etc! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

**I couldn't have done this without my amazing beta 'IthinkIJustGleedMyself' Abbey, and her wonderful - slow - beta'ing skills.**

**Also, thank you to the help of my friends Kristie & Jenna & to those of you that have reviewed every week! Cookies for you guys! ;)**

**Stay tuned for more stories from me. Though it might be awhile as I'm working on too many projects at once!**

**Until next time...**


End file.
